My Ex Is Dumber Than Yours

I am on my third marriage.  The first time, I married too young, so it didn't work out, as we were both very immature (I still love him to this day). The second one... well, I married a dumbass.

This is how dumb this man was.  He would buy alot of toys off Ebay with our money and then wondered why we were broke. We had all these toys all over the house.  It was like living with a 6 year old. 

He couldn't balance a checkbook to save his life, yet he said he was good with money. lol. We were constantly getting bounced check fees which sometimes would take an entire paycheck to cover.  He just never wrote his purchases down into the book. And he couldn't figure out why! Duh. ha ha ha...

The DUMBEST he ever was was when he was addicted to the online game 'Star Wars Galaxies'. He couldn't tell fantasy from reality, as he was always hitting on women online--falling in love with their CHARACTERS.  He did that to me with 'The sims' online game until I caught him with spyware and a keystroke monitor.  He got busted and he knew I owned the program after that.

Yet, this dumbass did the same thing again, only with a girl off a Star Wars game.  I watched him for a long time romance this character on there, which could have been some dude for all he knew.  He ended up planning to meet her in person. 

I printed off- literally, a book- of their online conversations for evidence.  At the same time, I created a false account and was emailing him stating I was a ******** named 'Amber' that saw his profile on the net.  He would write 'Amber' (me) and then lie to me telling me he told her to leave him alone because he was married.  But, he had no idea it was me. 

When I told him, the look was priceless.  I should have taken a polaroid. 

Even after all this, and him knowing I was onto him, and had a spyware program, he started another online affair with the Star wars chick.  When they made plans to meet, that is when I kicked him out of the house.  He tried to lie even though I caught him.  Because he's a dumbass. 

So, I slapped the 'book' of online conversations and screen shots down on the table.  Not much he could say to that. lol

In divorce court, he actually had the nerve to ask for his things back.  This was after many months of ME hounding HIM to get his own belongings.  I finally ended up giving him one week and after that I told him they were going out with the trash as they were piled up in my living room waiting for him to pick them up.  He still never showed up. 

He told the judge it was because he wasn't sure if it were legal to pick up his own stuff.  WTF?!

She didn't buy it.  He asked for a few items, which of course, I no longer had including, get this, an "antique microwave cart my Grandmother gave me" LMAO! 

I had no idea microwaves could be considered antiques.  And what sort of antique cart has wood paper on it to make it look like wood? Ridiculous.  It was very amusing. 

The judge made him look like a boob about it all and he shut up.  It was a glorious moment.

It doesn't get much dumber than that.  There are more stories, but these are off the top of my head.

haydenrules haydenrules
31-35, F
5 Responses Feb 10, 2009

Well.... the first one I was very young and the second one was an idiot (cheated on me with someone that looked like a child)...so third time is a charm :) the saying goes....

The girl that was on the Star wars game-- that is the only one I saw a pic of. she looked about 14 and was not a knock-out by any means, like your man had. So, you can imagine what that did to my self esteem then.<br />
<br />
Yeah, I should be Atlas too...or Zeus.. He's cool. I could throw thunder bolts. :)

That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger...I should be Atlas by now!lol<br />
At least this girl was a knock-out...but he KNEW she was 14! duh

Yeah, your ex is pretty dumb...maybe they are related as the girl he was messing with on the net looked about 14 herself...not even attractive. That really screws up your self confidence when he picks something like that over you! Anyway, sorry you had to go thru all that. Men-children suck

Not sure if My ex is dumber...but they could be brothers! My first ex began seeing a young girl (she was 14 to his 41) who was a daughter of one of my best friend! He was dumb enough to think she could figure out how to delete their chats that she as a teenager had saved! I printed them off my friends computer and picked him up at work (the idiot got IN THE CAR with me!!) and took him to the police station. He refused to get out, but when i came back with the detective he was on a pay phone to a lawyer...can you say "GUILTY!!??" The other stupid thig was, I worked in child care at the time...what the &*%$ did he think I would do when I found out?<br />
So, he tried to commit suicide...twice...and failed...twice!<br />
He ended up going to jail and divorced. And thought I was not fair to divorce him! LOL