One of My Exes...

...did her best to live up to the stereotype of the dumb blonde. 

She would perform oral sex, but would never swallow. There's no problem with not swallowing, but her reason for not swallowing is because she thought she might get pregnant. That, my friends, is Stupid with a capital "S".

One time we met a bunch of my friends for dinner at a restaurant. One of my friends mentioned that he was getting overwhelmed by his studying. "I'm just about drowning"

What did she say to this? "Oh, I didn't know you were on the swim team..."

We didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

VendettA12 VendettA12
31-35, M
5 Responses Feb 10, 2009

It did totally change my attitude on how to treat girls/women. I don't even recognize the person I was back then, nowadays I could really care less about myself. I am obsessed with female ******* lol. I don't even like ******** anymore, unless I'm giving at the same time that I'm receiving :)

3 months....that is sort of the standard amount of time you spend with someone you just like to ****, right? I hung out with a "pretty boy" like that for 3 months. The package was nice, but not much going on inside.

We went out for 3 months, and then she broke up with me. I know, that sounds shocking given that I had enough reasons to break up with her. But you must look at it from an 18 year old male's perspective. She was very pretty, and she was very good at basketball. Better than many of my guy friends, so we had great times playing together. And she also had no problems with giving ********. So our relationship basically consisted of playing basketball after school, then after we were cleaned up we'd park on the way to her house and she'd 'perform'... and that's it. <br />
<br />
In all fairness I wasn't that good to her, I was basically using her as a toy. I look back on it today and realize that it taught me how NOT to treat women. Even though she wasn't the brightest bulb, she must have eventually caught on and ended it. If you're curious HOW she ended it, you can read another of my stories: <a href="" target="ep_blank"></a>

err...begs the question- and you went out with her exactly for what reason?? .....

LMAO! Hey! I really think your ex was dumber than mine! Thanks for the laugh. Hilarious! Especially, the bit about swallowing.