Women Want The Right Nice Guy

Has anyone else noticed that most women vehemently disagree with the claim that nice guys finish last? Furthermore, a hefty chunk of men disagree with it as well. It seems to me that the individuals who insist that nice guys really do finish last are quite unwilling to entertain the notion that the problem is anything other than their niceness and the emotional masochism of the entire female population.
I’ve also noticed that both women and nice guys tend to become extremely angry about this issue. Women are often offended because they feel that attacked by the claim, “ALL women love to be treated like $h!t, and NO women are willing to give nice guys a chance!” The problem is with the words “ALL” and “NO.” But when women retaliate, some of them tend to make the same mistakes. For example, I’ve heard women say, “ALL so-called ‘nice guys’ are just bitter because they can’t get laid,” or “ALL so-called ‘nice guys’ are too pushy,” or even, “NO so-called ‘nice guy’ would ever consider dating a less attractive girl.” It’s rarely a good idea to generalize.
Do self-loathing women exist? Sure they do. Do mentally healthy women sometimes fall for jerks? Absolutely. But if you dig a little deeper, you’ll probably find that they fell for the jerk because he was nice at first. Do some women fail to appreciate nice gestures? Yup. Gestures that seem romantic and thoughtful to one woman might seem creepy and manipulative to another. Are most women looking for a genuinely nice guy, but just haven’t met the one who is right for her? Definitely.
Do some guys cry “nice” because they can’t handle rejection? Sure they do. Women do the same thing. Am I the only one who’s ever heard women complain that ALL men love b!tc#es? Do some nice guys expect their niceness alone to be a panty dropper? Some do, yes. Do some nice guys do nice things, not out of the inherent goodness of their hearts, but because they think these things will “make” women fall in love with them? For sure. Are most nice guys sincere in their niceness and simply frustrated because they’ve been rejected by numerous women who wound up in seemingly dysfunctional relationships with guys who appeared to be douchebags? Definitely.
My point is that this statement is sometimes true. There really are nice guys who have lousy luck with love, but one must be careful when jumping to the conclusion that the niceness is **causing** the bad luck. And it’s completely understandable that this illusory correlation would create frustration, even anger. But when you make a blanket statement about the mental instability of “ALL” women, you’re likely to offend a large percentage. As for the women who are (perhaps rightfully) offended by this generalization, it’s important for you to think before you speak as well. Once you insult the entire population of nice men based on the abhorrent behaviors of a few (who really aren’t all that nice), you’ve just alienated the very type of guy you are more than likely seeking.
Guys: Not all women reject nice guys, and very few of them reject nice guys just because they are nice. The ones who do are guano crazy and probably NOT girlfriend material anyway.
Gals: Don’t give up on nice guys in general just because of the angry, women-bashing “nice” guys. Real nice guys are out there, you may just have to go though several fake nice guys before you find one.
Finally, just because a guy is nice does not mean that he’s **right** for every girl. Finding the right person takes patience, perseverance, and trail and error. The process is exhausting, it’s frustrating, and it can be very disheartening. But it’s very uncommon for women OR men to reject a potential mate because of kindness. Kindness (or niceness) is something that most of us not only desire, but EXPECT in a mate. So the truth of that matter is: You probably won’t be rejected for being nice, but niceness alone is not enough. You don’t have to be super good-looking or super rich or super funny. You just have to be right for HER.
CaliforniaViolet CaliforniaViolet
31-35, F
5 Responses Dec 1, 2012

Women call someone nice when they lack other things to call someone.

In other words, when a women calls a man a nice guy, it means there are no other traits for her to compliment on and that this man is a boring man.

so very true, great read and actually earlier today a girl said to me nice gguys are just ******* that cant give a woman what she needs... seriously. so i suppose all in all i would just say i know too many unsavory woman, and not enough that are open to an actual relationship

Nice guys are looking for the picture perfect romance. Its mapped out in deatil so things get complicated up front. We blame the jocks for skipping a b and c and getting dtf. Nice guys also are not after the same girl. So what if nice guys finish last? Its balanced out by the things they come in first or put first. What if we heard from a nice guy who finished last? What would he say? Do you think he would regret it? Would she? Do you think he would be a great husband or father?

Define nice guy as a guy in the middle, kinda starts out extreme left and as life moves along; he ends up in the middle. Jock is far right/***** boy is far left.

Women who are serious about settling down WANT a good guy, a nice guy. Only very immature or shallow women are attracted to nasty, arrogant, mean men.
I agree with your synopsis, good write up.

Yea, females talk a lot, but they don't **** ***** boys. Manly men get aggressively chased and ****** by more females than we can handle.

Perhaps being nice will make them back off? Kidding.