No Complaints

When I was a kid I thought that loneliness was a normal condition.  It was a natural state, something that belonged to mankind.  I was just not adapted to it.  I couldn't get used to it.  It caused a lot of pain.

 

Slowly I started to realize that others suffered less.  I started to wonder why.  I'd been searching myself early on.  I was different, that I knew.  I spoke another dialect and that was among the reasons the other kids -kids are so incredibly cruel!- discriminated.  The fact they did was another proof of me being different.

 

The sensation not to belong to any possible group, but a very vague and worldwide community of like-minded souls, was inarticulate in its beginnings.

 

Sympathies, inclinations and affections steered my path.  Meanwhile i continued the search for myself.  It remained a riddle.

 

Finally I realize that who we are is built up by what we have done, mostly, and for the other part by what we still want and could do.  To live is to be on this razor blade between past and future.

Maybe the potential, that unknown reservoir, linking the past with the future, is one of the greatest enigma's of human existence.

That's also why me nor anyone else should expect to be fully known, though I know quite some open books, but that's another matter.

moreandless moreandless
56-60, M
1 Response Feb 10, 2010

I agree with you. Even as close as two people can be, there is always some part of you held away.