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Nobody Ever Seems To Like Me

All my life, for as long as I could possibly remember, I have always been disliked from my peers.  Not to say everybody, but it's hard for me to make friends and it's hard to find someone who really does like me.  I have very few friends.  Pretty much more enemies than friends.

It never used to bother me before, but it's getting out of hand.  I had to leave my old school and go to a new one, for crying out loud!  Let me start at the beginning...

In elementary school, there were a lot of people that didn't like me, but there were also a lot of people that did so I didn't care about those that didn't because the ones I did balanced it out well enough for me.

Then my parents divorced and my mother and I moved to a different city, which of course meant new school (I was starting middle school that year) and new friends.  In middle school, oh my goodness.  That was very tough.  I had a hard time all throughout middle school because I couldn't fit in and the only friend I had for a while was the school bully who picked on me, but I put up with her because she was the only friend I had. 

Due to how badly I was disliked in middle school, before I got to high school, I decided that whatever was wrong, it wasn't anyone's fault but mine.  I didn't do anything to those people in middle school to make them dislike me so I decided that whatever it is, it had to be my personality.  So the solution:  Change and be anyone but who I am.  So before I got to high school, I worked on my personality change.

By the time I got to high school, I had already made myself into one of those happy, bubbly girls (because everybody likes the happy, bubbly girls) and it actually worked!  I was very well-liked...for a few months.

Then I don't know what happened.  It was like middle school all over again, only worse.  Like I mentioned above, I had to leave that school.  It was hell.

When I tell people my story, they say that the reason why they didn't like me is because I wasn't being myself, which I guess is true.  I wasn't being myself and maybe they saw through that after a while.  And it pissed them off, I don't know.  But I don't think it was just my fake personality change.  People disliked me way before that.  What would have been the point of changing my personality if I was well-liked enough already being who I was?  Obviously I made up a different more likeable personality of myself BECAUSE people hated the real me.  Simple logic.  So all that "Just be yourself" advice is actually bad advice in my case.  Being myself got me into this. 

The real question is...What is wrong with me?  What do I have in me that other people see and decide they don't like in the least?  I know it has got to be something with me.  I will admit, I'm a very sweet girl.  Very kind, friendly and big-hearted.  I'm basically a good person, but I'm pretty sure it can't be that everybody I meet is screwed up.  Surely it can't be that.  It has to be me somehow.  There has to be something wrong with me.  There just has to. There's something about me that people don't like.  I'm sure of it.  But what?


deadmoon deadmoon 18-21, F 32 Responses Jul 18, 2010

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WOW! reading all these posts makes me sad. I hate to hear of young people in pain. Let me tell you my story:
At the age of 10 my family moved to another country and for 2 years I was bullied severely until my parents separated and my mom took us home, when we arrived home and I began back at school I talked funny and had blonde hair and dark tan and was again bullied. Like the OP I talked rather a lot and was told often that my voice was annoying and to shut up so by the time I was 14 just like the OP I tried to be someone I wasn't to fit in and this worked for a while but soon became annoying and again I had no friends. Because of the bulies and daily humiliation I left school at 15 and did not return, I had nobody my family just told me to stop feeling sorry for myself, stop being an attention seeker. I decided then that the only way I would ever be loved was to have a child so I lost my virginity with the sole purpose of getting pregnant. It worked but then I was the target of even more bullying in the streets, my family were disgusted and at 16 I had my baby and moved out....over the next few years I learned that the only way to not annoy people was to just not speak so i stopped talking, I walked around with my head down never making eye contact and minding my own business..this affected my child's first years at school because I was so convinced the teachers thought I was a bad mum, I moved and changed his school often...My life became about my child and being the best mum possible...I left the town I lived in and moved to other side of the country where nobody knew me but continued to walk with my head down and spoke to nobody...I did meet my husband when I was 20 and he is a very confident person, very chatty, people love him everywhere we go, i just stand by his side quietly, it annoyed him and he wished that I would just be myself...He and my children are the only people in the world I have ever been able to be myself with. .......
Until 18 months ago when my life changed...By this point I was 31 and desperately lonely, I was so nervous around other people and so eager to please and be the nicest person possible that the few people who did come into my life took advantage and left me feeling worse than before..I only had friends when they needed something, money, a babysitter, someone to work for them for free! and like a fool I did it! my family would only contact me if they wanted something and I always gave it even though it would cause huge arguments with my husband who saw them for what they really were!
Then one day I took a chance and asked a girl I had met online to meet me for a play date with the kids...we met, we chatted she was lovely and for the first time in around 15 years I was myself..i talked fast and laughed loud barely took a breath..I opened up and when she left I cried and beat myself up thinking that I had blown it...she will hate me...but she didn't we became real friends....6 months later she invited me to a party and although I was a nervous wreck I made the effort and I went..I was quiet but she introduced me to her friends and they were all lovely, the next day I woke up to 2 friends requests on fb......What they liked me? that can't be right...so I took a chance and I met up with anther girl that I had been chatting to online.....Now I have a small group of absolutely wonderful friends who like me for me and the best thing is they have made me realize that I am a nice person and that the reason I had never had friends before was my own fear! My parents and siblings told me I wasn't good enough, the bullies in school told me that I wasn't good enough and I allowed this to effect my entire life..I went through my teens and 20's believing that their was something wrong with me, that I wasn't worthy of friends, that I was just an annoying waste of space....I've tried recently to build bridges with my family but they just keep hurting me...my friends tell me to stop and just accept the people around me that love me and my family don't deserve me...It's hard and it hurts every day that the people I want love from the most just don't like me but I finally accept that the problem is theirs not mine, as I AM A GOOD PERSON and THEIR IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME! I tell myself this every single day now so that I will never forget again.
I do hope my story helps...sorry it was so long.

I feel your pain. I'm that person with not one friend and when I was in school everyone made fun of me. I even had friends who did it (or at least I thought they were friends) but I was always that "gross girl" the "annoying one" the "stupid" one even when being quiet and minding my own buisness I somehow was always the one who talked to much, then when I started gaining a little weight, like most girls will when they start to turn in to an adult and get out of their little teen stages I was that "chubby chick" or "fat ***" (only gaining maybe like 10 pounds going from 135 to 145) and still till this day I can't cry and let anyone see it because I will get told to either stop acting stupid, stop acting for attention, nobody cares, or glared at. And I've figured out a couple reasons people don't like me. I do kinda talk more than others but that is no reason to hate me that much. Hate me to the extent that I can cry and pretty much be told to shut up because no one cares by everybody. You are not alone because I'm almost 19 and nothing has changed. I actually left school with people even wanting to beat me up.

I know exactly how you feel. people have always rejected me no matter what i do. i'm 23 years old and its still going on and its so depressing i only have like 2 or 3 friends. I don't try to be anyone different but myself. I can sing i can rap i can play piano i can write music and poems and make beats and mixed and master vocals and everything is still the same. I was always bullied in school, so i dropped out due to hanging with people who i thought was my friend. I can't even find a girlfriend thats how bad it is and im not a ugly guy. im always rejected. I started to feel like the world is rejecting me. I started watching anime cause i can relate to it and this was when i was on the verge of killing myself Just now as im typing this i been trying to talk to a girl to get to know here she never respond to me until now and she said told me to get a life. It hurts when you try and nothing works out. I also have 5 social sites and nobody writes me send me request nobody respond to my messages its sad and it hurts so i know what you are going thru. i still dont know what to do.

Dude I will most def be your friend it you want what I learned is that"normal" people hate diffent they wish they where diffent but there not there just sad normal people I know that probly didnt make you fill better but its true there are people who are out there that will see all the cool and good things in you and say hay I like that girl and you will say hay is for horses lol :D talk to me some time :)

you can't assume the problem is yourself, because it sounds to me like it's theirs. if there's something about YOU that THEY don't like it's THEIR problem, if there was something about YOU that THEY didn't like it would be YOUR problem then, does that make sense? and sorry for the caps i was using them for emphasis

If u don't have support (friends/loving family) people find it easy to pick on/find fault in you to raise themselves up. Because life is a power struggle.

Ok so I’m 17 and I have dealt with this same problem; even now. Let’s get one thing straight teenagers are dicks; there... short and simple however this doesn’t help the dilemma at hand, this just justifies a little bit of the problem. Unlike you I think I know my problem...I' m kind of standoffish and not very social able; thus I’m defiantly not being myself and I’m not letting that wall around me fall to let others in. High School/ middle school is all about finding who you are as an individual and it sounds like you just haven’t gotten to that point and/or like me haven’t fully trusted anyone with your personality because you’re afraid you will get rejected for you …as you have before…. All I can say is try again to be 100 percent yourself and if you “fail” get up and try, try again- this will show that you are strong and that you don’t give a s**** what people think. FYI: people attract to confident/ carefree personalities. Good Luck ( 4 the both of us)

I'm 12 and everyone hates me it makes me so sad what is wrong with me I've began to get an attitude with my grandparents because of everything going on these past years have bin so bad my daddy doesn't even talk to me and my brother beat my mom and got taken away I no people who r my friend are phonies I've heard the things they say about me I've seen them laugh I no some people hate because of how ugly I am I interrupt and talk a little to much when I'm happy one year I'm so quiet to kids wich shocked me since usually im the big mouth any way I try to Be nice and I know teachers don't like me cause I talk to them to much but I no they can't be mean and alot of people think I'm weird I don't no why I don't no what is wrong with me I'm not bad at all I'm really nice but lately I seem to be loosing my grip because I take all the crap and act cool about it I even realsed to act like u have no idea your "friends" as the teacher puts it hate me lots of boys and girls hate me I don't no why ecept for the reasons I've told I mean I love art and reading I don't have to study at all though it takes a lot of work to manage my a b report card I'm sick to my stomach cause of thinking about it everyone hates me including my self I'm the least loved and unimportant in my faimly and its true my aunt bout everyone in my faimly that r kids ages 1-almost 6 presents my grandparent that I live with like my brother more then they like me they by him stuff every day almost and even say he's the special child to the faimly the only faimly members that choose me as important or a favorite is my other grandma and my mom

I have asperger's, so I have no choice but to accept that I cannot get a gf. Being an aspie doesn't automatically mean no girlfriend, but I honestly cannot picture myself with a woman. I'm a Christian so being gay is out of the question. I try to avoid people because I know I can't socially satisfy them so its like what's the point. I'm a little self centered, moderately ignorant, close-minded and most of all Childish. I dislike some people for stupid reasons such as "you have a mole on your finger". I also hold grudges, even against the opposite sex. I feel like if people knew me they would not like me but since they know I don't talk, they don't understand me, therefore they don't like me, so its a can't win situation. I do not like to laugh because it makes me (and other people) look and sound stupid. Everybody who has ever talked to me besides family and church has stopped talking to me and I will most likely never see them again. Im not expecting any help, im just putting these facts out there. I have accepted my socially awkwardness because I cannot do anything about it. I don't really like making an effort to get know people anyway because I'm not gggood at it. I'm a 17 year old male, BTW.

I like you and I don't even know you but there is something about you that tells me you would be the best friend any one could ever ask for.

Well, heck, I'm over 40, and STILL feeling like a misfit. Like the rest of you guys, I don't know what it is, but it has to be something about my personality. Like deadmoon, I try to be nice. I'm courteous and pleasant. I wonder if it's the fact that I'm so pessimistic...but I wouldn't be pessimistic if people liked me! Lol.

I was bullied in elementary school, and invisible in high school. In college, I thought I would finally fit in, but I didn't. I did have a best friend, but then she moved to another state, and she wasn't much of a letter writer, so I lost touch with her. Before that happened, however, I contacted her again to let her know I was getting married, and her comment was, "Oh, so you're marrying one of your own." She said that because I'm Hispanic, and was marrying another Hispanic. She herself is American, born in this country....

There's this woman at the office, who has been there a year. She's African-American. On several occasions, I have complimented something she was wearing -- a skirt, some earrings, etc. A few months ago, I came back from a lunchtime shopping trip, wearing a new hat, and showed it to her and another co-worker. Her response to me? "Girl, you look like a homeless woman."

I just don't understand....I could go on and on with more stories, but don't want to tire everybody out.

It doesn't necessarily get better as you grow older. It seems, in my case at least, that it's either stayed about the same, or gotten worse, if that's possible....

Depressing, yeah....what can I say, except that I know exactly how all of you guys feel... for what it's worth, I understand and sympathize with all of you. I wish we all lived close to each other, because we all could definitely be friends, in spite of our different ages! :)

I'm a 13 year old boy. Nobody at school really listens to me, all they do is ignore me, as if I were talking to a brick wall. The people that I think are my friends do talk to me. However, whenever all their other friends come around I'm in the void and ignored. Other people say, "You're a retard" "No one likes you" "You are so annoying" "You have no friends" Whenever people use my name, Michael, they are usually referring to another person and not me. I always look when people say that, but then realize, they don't care about me. I'm usually alone, ALL THE TIME and wish I had a friend I could just talk to about anything. At lunch, I;m that guy that sits at the end of the table. People give me nasty looks and say, "Only cool people sit here" I usually just cry it out at home. That never helps. No one understands me or tries to sit me or even say Hi. Forever Alone?

I totally know where you're coming from, don't feel alone,

Michael :/

I no how u feel except I have 1 friend that is true not a faker I'm so broken and alone I feelas if no one feels how I do bullies stink hang in there I would really like to be your friend:)

im 34 now and im as what you said...



tried all ways, tried and tried since being 8 years old ive had the same issue, its not letting me go



same issue, same responses, same results, but, in different ages with different knowledge with different parameters



religious beliefs increased and loving to god as he become my only shalter, as ive realised that this is my curse, when i ignore the issue i feel free, but in releality im running away from the truth



i thought of my senses, i’ve been searching since 8 years old whats wrong, what is the big thing that i do, i doubted my appearance, my way of talking my voice tone, my knoweldge, my education



sometimes ive been drawning in finding special properties and talents which i believe i had, i found that i was trying to solve the issue and live my life as a normal human being, i found that my talents are exists when i truly wants to end this issue and let it go and put it behind my back



After 34 years old i’ve realised that i have to live with it “this is me” this is how god created me, can’t get out of my skin and try another people skins, the mask will be finally unconvered



Thanks god for every thing, hope he will compensate me after life.



Thanks for each person who gived me his time to read my article.

I feel the same way right now!

Sometimes I try to be invisible as possible in school, ignore them even it's hurt! It got worst day by day!

I hope you know , your not alone!

Ugh. I felt the same way for a long (longer than I would like to admit!) portion of my life (in fact, I still do!)



It's true, but only upto a point. Not everyone will like you, especially if they don't take the time to get to know you (highschool can be hell because of reasons like this!), but you have to ask yourself: do those people really matter? I can't help but feel that other people (especially anyone I don't know) just absolutely hate my guts for some reason, but I can bear it because once I come home I'm with someone who loves me unconditionally. That someone is trying to teach me that only a few things matter in life, and among the biggest of them is self-acceptance, and I think if you can accept yourself (without needing to be approved by others), then life'll be a whole bunch easier.



I hope this helps!

Your awsome and fuckall them tards there loss for not bein ur frien i had a frien that ****** my ex fience in my house and bed while i was in the livining room talking to his ex prego girl **** friends cant trust people anyway

Your awsome and fuckall them tards there loss for not bein ur frien i had a frien that ****** my ex fience in my house and bed while i was in the livining room talking to his ex prego girl **** friends cant trust people anyway

i understand this 100% you seem awesome from all the groups you have joined and everything on your profile. People need to learn the way of respect.

Doesn't matter who likes you, you said "I think nobody likes me" and you're saying people do like you.

So there :P

You just said 'which do like me'

So people do like you! :P

How do you know I don't mean EP people? :P

EP people... Say those words really fast. It sounds so weird!

Lol..

Ooh.. so this was your first story o.O

Well, it's been disproved eh? :P

Oh, it's in July, not June! Yeah, I wrote it a few mins after making an account. Nah, it hasn't really been disproved. I just attract the weirdos like me, which DO like me. And I just stopped caring what people thought of me.

Btw, keep an open mind to people. When I spoke about meeting people like you, I meant soulmates who can be exactly the opposite to who you are, but still like you for that. Likewise people bond in soul, even if they have different personalities to the outside world.

Deadmoon, sometimes a few bad experiences can make us oversensitive. I always have the same feeling as you, and I'm much older!! However, much of this feeling that nobody likes us, becomes true after a while...you know why? It's the what so-called "self-fulfilling prophecy". In other words, we think so much that no one likes us that no matter what we do, people start disliking us for real, without knowing why. Part of it, are our negative thoughts that show negative body language which we only want to target ourselves, but people see that as a threat and perceive us as defensive, unfriendly, even arrogant. It's no use trying to change yourself because what is fake is fake, people will see through us eventually. It works for a while, but once people have gone past that initial phase of social contact, they find us unconvincing and empty. But, hey, it might not be entirely you!!!

How about not pleasing others for a while but yourself? Be who you are and accept that not everyone is super extrovert, outgoing with a flamboyant personality. You are not alone. By just accepting yourself, you might start attracting "your own species", people of your kind. Remember that those who don't seem to like you may be soooooooo jealous of you!! You seem very sweet and perhaps shy. Some people just can't understand this persona combo,as they have their own insecurities to fight with. Perhaps they learned that being sweet equals receiving and giving love, something they probably never had, thus they feel afraid of or unworthy of. Or perhaps they are jealous of your intelligence. You write very well and most probably they heard a teacher's comment, which made them start resenting you. So, it might really be that it's NOT you, but them. However, as said before, if you start blaming yourself only, you may turn your personality trait into a curse, just like I did. Don't make the same mistake. I'm learning the hard way. Use what you have to your advantage; you'll find friends who like you for who you are. Even the most shining, outgoing people have relationship problems, as they as well, attract jealousy, even more so. As someone said above, it's not only school mates who can give us grief, but also workmates in the future, in a more subtle way, sometimes. They start acting behind your back. You must be prepared for these life battles by loving yourself first. I ended up as bitter as hell at some point, acting like I should give them a good reason for them not to like me, if being nice hadn't worked at all. But it only backfired on me. Just be yourself, but above all, be assertive, without sounding too nice or too aggressive. Once you know who you are, you find that bond between your soul and your mind, and others. Good luck!

If someone doesn't like you, they have their own problems :/ You're fun.

Look deadmoon you are going to get this in all walks of life if you think school is bad then wait till go into the workforce, there is always people who are willing to badmouth you and put you down, but i have learnt you do want these people in you life anyway they have there own insecurities and just attack other people so no can see them vunreable, my advice is go out there meet people who have the same interests as you and do not give a damn what other people think just live your OWN life and let everybody else live theres and the begrudgers **** Them

They don't seem to like you because they don't take the time to get to know you.

@Ice18nz: You indeed are as cold as Ice... but you are so right.. :( . I myself have faced the same problem and I have grown enough to realise how true it is that you said.

i believe it can take years for one to find oneself.They say your generation has never had it so easy well i feel that is a load of bullshit!!!You guys and girls were born in an uncertain time that is only getting worse with the worlds resources dwindling...People can only be as good as the enviroment and culture they are born into..We dont shape it ..it shapes us and i think you young people are wonderful and our job as older adults is to protect/support and encourage you all at all times...I always found in my life that lots of answers about myself were in nature as we are all made of flesh and bone and all still part of her....Remember to breath relax and let nature into your heart and soul cause she will give you the greatest love ever!!!!!hang in there your a good person and the world needs you!!!!best wishes

Its probably the same here, but ive never had to leave a school sinse i always have been forced all my life to put the brave face on. With good reason to.



I'm sure there is someone who loves you for your personality and -- dare I say it -- may be to (frightened?) to let you know because of there own circle of friends.



I admit I do make more enemies than i do friends, simply because of my belief's, opinion's and overall personality. I just battle through that, mostly on my own. Maybe am just to stubborn to let other get to me, which I have been told on occasion.



You will get through it, somewhere along the road a person will arrive to hold your hand and help you along the way, just as someone did for me. I wish it was me sinse I understand what you are going through, but be strong hearted and do not give up.

x x x

I seem the have the same problems as you. The beginning of your story is actually the same that happened to me. I am 17 and still trying to work on these problems ._. Not going so well.