New Goal: Accept Myself As Unlikeable

I have a new goal. My old goal was to hopefully make friends who like me. But that was always a tumultuous ride of hopefulness followed by feeling terrible and disappointed. I'm thinking I'll try to accept myself as unlikeable. Then when I see others that are liked a lot I don't have to feel so sad, and I don't have to feel so disappointed when I'm not invited anywhere, or nothing I say on facebook is liked, and nobody is interested in being friends. I have talked about this in therapy in the past and the therapist always jumped right to some statements about what is good about me. They don't get it. These are empty statements. I think my turmoil would end if I could accept myself as an unlikeable person and be at peace with this. Is it possible?
Nomannic Nomannic
36-40, F
1 Response Apr 30, 2012

I agree. No one is going to be there through thick and thin and accept you like you yourself will be. It could just be the reason people drift is they sense you are not being the real you. Maybe you hide the real you because you see nothing you would find enjoyable in a friend in yourself. But if you accept that anyway, and come to terms with it, there is no more flexing or flinching from the world, and maybe it opens the door for you to begin to start finding value in some of the deeper, harder to access things that are uniquely you. And if no one likes, invites or is interested in you, then that is a rare glimpse at real freedom without obligation. I say go for it. You cannot bring real value into your friendships unless you stop spending all your resources in being who you are not. And if anyone wants you to change, or likes yoy the way you are now, when, truly, the way you are now is bringing you deep unhappiness, then **** them. Including your therapist.