My Childhood

When I was 6 my mother met a new bf she moved him in quickly and he was a sick and perverted man the sexual aabuse started quickly and I was a small child being forced I was both  mentally and physically damaged by his attacks the abuse contiued until I was 13 when I finally confided in a teacher. That day was so frightening the police and a social worker were called in and I gave a very long statement and my mother was called. When she walked in the room she looked at me with hate in her eyes i have never forgotten that look after I told her what happened she told me I was a liar and the police asked her to leave. The police knew I was telling the truth because my doctor had submitted proof which was DNA of the baby I had given birth to 6 weeks before. Social services ignored me when I begged them to put me in social care and they took me home before the paedo who abused me had been arrested they didn't even check to see if the house was safe for me before driving away. I was alone in the house with him for 45 minutes before the police came and after that experience I withdrew my statment the police knew that I had been forced to give up my statment but due to the social services failing there was nothing they could do I have never told anyone what happened in those 45 because I have never faced that trauma myself.

purplepaws purplepaws
41-45, F
11 Responses Mar 3, 2009

Write it down. <br />
<br />
Go through the memories.<br />
Go through the pain.<br />
<br />
Heal.<br />
<br />
Talk about it with those who have gone through similar situations...like me.

i don't think my mother should be punished but I do think child welfare should have been punished with my mother I don't think she could cope with what I told her at 13 so it was easier for her to not believe if my sister had backed me up she would have listened but now I see no point in telling her again.

Oh - honey. My heart breaks for you. You have been SO brave by sharing this. Getting this out will help you start to heal. <br />
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I can not even imagine how hurt and scared you were, and having your mother do that to you. No child should ever have to go through that - EVER. <br />
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I agree - I think that the boyfriend and your mother should both be put away for this, for the failure to protect you.

I would kill if someone touched mine too I get angry if someone swears at them so touching the is something which would send me crazy.

would you enjoy killing someone who touched them inappropriately?

i have done LOTS of research on the subject and a lot of the time child molesters were abused when they were young. but i also have read that for some the urge to sexually abuse children is so strong it can be painful. i personally think its bullshit. if it means suffering physical pain or potentially scaring a child for life then i would choose pain any day. sick *****. i dont care if i go to hell i would risk my life and soul to hunt down anyone who EVER touched my kids

I wonder if some day they will find out what makes them like that like slight brain damage or abonormalities

being put down would be too nice a punishment.

As a child I always planned to kill my abuser but now I believe they as in peados are ill and should be placed in a secure unit for life.

Yes agreed. It has been found that there is a high rate of reoffending for active paedophiles unfortunately but there are programmes around that aim to lower them, particularly in UK. One famous one was recently shut down. Unfortunately a lot of people are so focussed on punishment and anger (which is understandable if you've been involved i guess, but less so if you haven't) that funding on these programmes that can actually help save future kids from this is not very politically popular. I think the most important thing is to protect the children, punishing the offender is important but comes second in my book.<br />
GA.

I think that putting them down would stop them reoffending but it doesnt fix the damage they've done

it won't stop people offending this and would make them more likely to kill their victims.

What an awful story, I really feel for you. You sound so abandoned by those people you were relying on for help. Big hugs to you, I wish I could give the child that you were those hugs too!!<br />
For the record I disagree with the name of this group but I won't go in to that - it doesn't change my compassion for you catwill.