They Reminded Me Of...

I met with the therapists/leaders of a group/class I'm thinking of taking about emotional awareness skills.  A minute into the meeting, I was already beginning to feel uncomfortable.  I wasn't sure why - it seemed strange to be uncomforable since they weren't doing anything that seemed wrong.  As the meeting dragged on, my stomach became more and more filled with a strange sense that something wasn't quite right.  Finally, I spotted the source of my apprehension:  They weren't listening to what I was saying.  

They would nod and make "mhm" sorts of noises while I was talking... but then they would respond to what I was saying with little to no regard for what I had said.  And when I looked at the male therapist/leader, he would start nodding his head and saying "mhm" with a ferver.  He was putting on a show.  As the meeting went on they made no effort to get to know me or my goals, and yet they started pushing me to do things that were completely counterproductive to what I actually wanted to accomplish.  I felt like a dog.

There were a lot of other subtle signals that these people looked down on me and my abilities/opinions, and that they were completely fake.  They acted like they knew what was best for me, without caring to get my opinion, or even learn my situation.  Granted, I have as many holes in my self-knowledge as anyone - but I damn sure know myself better than a couple of people who just met me half an hour ago. 

One of the reasons this bothered me so much is because my parents have always been the same way - they "listen", but they don't hear.  They would always decide what was "best" for me without paying attention to who I am as a person.

I like to switch to the positive side of things at the end of my stories, so here goes:  I felt uncomfortable when I was talking to these people.  I trusted my instincts, I identified the source of the discomfort, and I got out - all with a decent bit of tact.  The world is full of these kinds of people - but because of all the time I've spent with them I've gained the ability to identify and avoid them.  I'm not going to be participating in their group, but I am going to be participating in a similar group taught by a couple of very nice people.

MovingForward28 MovingForward28
26-30, M
Mar 12, 2010