**********: The sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children (usually before the ages of 11)
Hebephilia: The sexual attraction to pubescent children (usually between the ages of 11 and 14)
Ephebophilia: The sexual attraction to post-pubescent adolescences (usually between the ages of 15 and 19)
While it pleases me to know that more and more people are beginning to accept **********, hebephilia, and ephebophillia as a sexual orientation, we still have a long way to go. Just as people do not choose what sex they like, people do not choose the age they're attracted to. Pedophiles do not just wake up one morning and decide to live the miserable life of unfulfillment that comes with wanting to have sex with children.
There is a difference to be made between sex offenders and chronophiles (sexual attraction to an age specific group of people - this could include people who are sexually attracted to people in the 30-35 range or 40-45 range, etc. In this instance, I am referring to it as the lumping together of the three above mentioned groups). Sex offenders harm others in order for a sexual gain (although this is not always true either, but that is another story to be made). Sex offenders are not chronophiles and chronophiles are not sex offenders. They can exist independently of each other.
However, with our current view on chronophiles, it makes it incredibly difficult for chronophiles to seek help in controlling their urges. If one mentions it to a psychologist, the the psychologist automatically has means to involuntairly commit (civially commit) them simply because they "could" be a danger. However, they fail to realize that anyone "could" be a danger. And that the majority of sexual acts that leave children traumatized are the ones done by someone they trust. Indeed, 90% of children who are sexually abused, are sexually abused intra-familial.
Not only are 90% of children that are sexually abused sexually abused within the family, but also minority of them report any lasting harm. Rather, they did not know it was wrong until society told them it was wrong. It is the shame that society puts on sexualizing children that leads them to see shame within themselves.
Of course, there are people who are traumitized from sexual abuse as children. I am not taking away from that. These people are not the ones who were simply fondled with, rather they are the ones who were raped. And I agree, there is no excuse for that. As a victim of rape from my uncle (12), and as a receiver of fondling (3+) and giver of blow jobs to my father (5-10), I can state the difference between the two. I enjoyed the fondling. It felt good. And I enjoyed the blow jobs. He was gentle and kind with me. He never pushed too hard. I didn't become ashamed of myself until society told me that it was disgusting and revolting. It took the ability to break from the values of society for me to be able to think for myself and recall the joy and pleasure I received. However, in the instance of my uncle, it hurt like hell. He was rough, and I was bleeding profusely out of my *** because he ripped into me. One of these experiences was traumatizing; the other was not. Neither one of these people are pedophiles or hebephiles. They enjoy sex with and are sexually attracted to other age groups.