People Don't Like Me And I Just Recently Found Out Why.
Ever since I was small the only people I could make friends with were the other people that nobody else liked. I was constantly picked on and excluded from everything. Always the last person to be picked for a team in gym class, I didn't want to play anyway because I knew I would be last to be picked. I was never able to get a boyfriend from the same school I went to, they were always in another county. Any friends I did manage to make were also not from my school. I didn't find out that I had social anxiety disorder until I was about 35. But when I did, it explained every thing. While I was terrified to speak or move in front of other people they interpreted it as me being cold, selfish, disinterested, and rude. I still can't hardly make friends. I go to clubs and see people dancing and having fun and I want to too so much, but I just can't move. Once someone had bothered to make to effort to get to know me, in spite of my lack of ability to even move half the time, I can open up just fine and talk about just about anything and do silly, goofy stuff, and express my opinions. But until I believe that someone won't laugh at me, be mean to me, or make fun of me, I am convinced that they would have no interest in anything I might have to say which renders me unable to communicate because I don't want to annoy people with the burden of having to listen to me speak.