Not Sure What To Do....

I have been dating a Scorpio male for the past 3 years. We have discussed getting married and I love him whole heartedly. The past six months have been especially difficult. Communication has been iffy and he has been in California taking care of his father who has had a stroke and has congestive heart failure. At the beginning of December I let him I know that I was coming for a weekend visit. I made it clear that I had plans with some friends Saturday afternoon, ( I used to live there years ago) so that should leave him plenty of time to take care of his dad any other business.

I landed last Friday and texted him...and he said text me when you get to the room. He was getting offf work and my friend and I picked him up from there. We talked and made love. I told him that I am lonely, miss him and love him which made him react. :) Strongly. He then had to go and give his dad his medication so we dropped him off. He kissed me, hugged me, made plans for Saturday night, and said I love you loud enough for the neighbors to hear and then his sweetness kissed my nose just like he used to do when we first met. It's how he shows affection.

So, Saturday comes and I go with the girls for lunch, VooDoo Doughnuts and cocktails...lol. We were having so much fun. I text him around 2:30 and confirm our plans for later that evening. We didn't have an exact time since I know his situation I was ok with that. Last thing he said again is "I love you." vmI made it back to the room a little after 7 that evening and texted him that I was there and waiting for him. By 10 pm I texted him "babe?" And when I didn't get a response I went to sleep. The next morning he still wasn't there and there were texts or calls from him. So, I reached out to him because it could have been anything.

I left California Sunday afternoon and hadn't heard a word from him. On Tuesday, I sent him a mutual friends phone number. He responded and I asked him to listen to the vm I had left earlier that morning. I am now not hearing from him again. I do not like to give ultimatums but feel I deserve an apology and explanation. He doesn't want to give one; I feel he is trying to sweep this issue under the rug.

I should also mention that he is on my family plan for cell phones and during the vm I asked for these things and if he couldn't talk to me about it or anything else...what am I doing here? I have expressed to him that I will deactivate the phone by at noon tomorrow if I do not here from him.

He is the one who messed up, I am open to talking about it, but am hearing nothing from him. I do not understand this way of thinking and know that I will have to stick to my guns and deactivate the phone tomorrow because I am no ones door mat and my feelings are not to be toyed with.

Why say "I love you" and then treat me in such a manner? Any help would be appreciated.

Thank you.
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 17, 2013

Well it can be three things, one he may be stressing about his dad, two he may be out with friends or three he may be seeing some one else

Because we are long distance I have asked if he has met someone else and he has insisted that he has not. I have a lot going on too, as my dad has prostate cancer, and I am finishing up my bachelors degree. I love him and it is very difficult for to walk away because it is not what I want at all. With that said, I cannot deal with the fact that our communication has dwindled so much. He says he won't be home for a year...I don't mind waiting but he has to be willing to meet me half-way. I have only asked for one phone call a week and to answer my texts in a timely manner, which means sooner tham 2 days and an apology and explaination for the prior Saturday. With everything I have been through with him and willingness to wait and sacrifice longer...it's not asking for too much.

No its not asking for much, I know my comment may have confirmed your fears and I am sorry

Don't be sorry. I am letting him go with love and hope once things calm down for us both maybe we can work it out later. I know he is stressed and so am I. The lack of communication is what hurts me most and it's gotten to the point where I feel like a nag and that is not the type of wife/girlfriend that I want to be especially where he is concerned.

I just deactivated his phone. :( heartbroken

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