So Let Me Just Throw This Out There. 100% Brutally Honestly Me

I smoke pot and I am a misfit for sure. I'm a Freak of sorts and I have a lot of tattoos and piercings. I'm a woman and a child and I still cry. I get my feelings hurt very easily although I don't show it all the time. I fall in love way too easily and give too freely as I have a generous heart and soul. I'm too sensitive at times but I like it that way because it lets me know that I am still a compassionate human being. I am the mother of two awesome (adult) children whom I had at a very young age. I have a lot of regrets, sometimes daily. I pray every day all day. I have hopes and dreams alike. I pretty much get along with everyone so long as they are kind. I can be a ***** but it usually takes some provoking or ignorance on their part. Then again, I can also be a ***** just because, I don't know why but it happens sometimes. I have a strange obsession with Lasagna, It's just so damn good! I love to fly fish because it brings me peace. I love fresh mountain air and a cool summer breeze. I love the way new love feels and hate the way it hurts when its gone. I love all of my friends and would do anything for them and am proud to say they would all do the same for me. Sometimes I really hate myself. Usually after doing stupid **** that just shouldn't be done.Sometimes I drink too much. I smoke too much and I cuss to much. I'm afraid. I'm strong for my size. I want to live in Europe someday, preferably south of France where I could kick back and drink wine from my own vineyard. (dream) I'm a lover, not a fighter, but if you insist,.... it will be on and we will throw down and I will not lose. I am determined. I am not judgmental , no one has the right to judge anyone , that's not our job. I am very opinionated at times and I have a big mouth. Sometimes I feel cursed and jaded but I think maybe I just haven't been found yet. I love animals. I hate runny egg yolk because I cannot get past the thought of eating a chicken embryo. I cannot physically touch a peach or emery board because I have this bizarre texture sensitivity thing and it makes me gag.. I have OCD, I count every step I take (silently of course). I would rather soak in a nice hot bath than jump in the shower. My favorite car is the camaro, doesn't matter which year or model. I love to play pool and wish I had more time to study it. I'm sorry. I make a lot of mistakes and am pretty confidant that this ritual will go on. I am not perfect. I can be really loud. I am an artist that was blessed with the talent a birth. I hate being cold. I weep every time I see a commercial for aspca or feed the children. I miss my mother and best friend dearly who passed away from cancer a few years ago.I love being hugged and I love hugging, it warms my soul. I love poetry and a good comedy but my favorites are Drama, tear jerkers.....I can be complicated at times but I try not to be. I still hold hands with my daughter and skip down the street cause it's still fun, She's 21. I love to dance, it liberates the soul but I'm not very good at it at all. I sing really loud to the radio when I'm alone in the car. I think Family guy is hilarious. I have been engaged four times and married once briefly for three months. I still believe marriage is a good thing. I have alot to say and no idea how to say it . Rain makes me long for a pillow. I lust after BBQ. I'm fragile. I'm breakable. I'm ever mending. I'm lonely but content with myself.

............I feel sadness on a regular basis and I supper from depression..but I am a very happy go lucky woman and friend for the most part. I am a super nerd and I don't care. I love to laugh. I feel that if It was meant to be, it was meant to be. if it wasn't meant to be, then it wasn't,..But, Even if it wasn't meant to be, it still is in an odd sort of way.
I'm quite the smart ***. I not only love to write, I need to, words are constantly seeping from my soul. I desperately though secretly crave the human touch And I long to be loved again.

I live inside my dream of finding the One.

This is the stuff I'm made of.

PrettyOldSoul PrettyOldSoul
46-50, F
22 Responses Feb 15, 2011

I am so glad I stalked your stories long enough to read this. You know..... you are ok in my book.

I kinda like it myself too. Has a certain familiarity to it..... :) thanks bunches>:)

Bravo! Wonderful, beautiful story! Most people go through life never really knowing who they are... you are so far ahead of the curve. Your user name is very well chosen!

ha ha ha,...boy whisperingsunshine sure would kill to be here right now cause I have no Idea what to say to that. That is just I don't even know how kind that was... ..I need a word full of essence to describe this one.<br />
<br />
oooh I know simply astonishing.... Thank you with much grattitude jimmyrudyjup

One of the few women I encountered here on EP who throws all the pieces on the table without we having to puzzle.<br />
And the pieces are wonderful, either separate, or as a whole. It must be good having you as a partner.<br />
And a freak? Maybe. But not the freakish kind. The kind that are called that because the 'others' don't understand.<br />
Did I say beautiful? No? Well, here it is: Beautiful... :)

hehehe lolol me likes!

Thank you so much and I agree, but please dont call me piece of **** either. lmao

Hell yeah,... just don't call me normal. :)

Nothing at all wrong with being yourself :)<br />
And you are not too sensitive. Sensitivity is a strength not a weakness although those not in touch with their emotions and feelings would have us believe otherwise.

But I'm already really good at it.. :)

Work on the smoking :)<br />
The rest sounds lovely...

Thank you dear. :) I have nothing to hide. Takes too much

I loved reading this .. honest, raw and unique. Takes great courage to share so much about yourself :)

wanna bet? Silly Ford. I am Epic! lmao

Thank you for baring your inner self to us! You sound like a great person...and no more a freak than the rest of us ;-)

awwwwwww, that is so sweet of you to say,. Thank you!

You are a beautiful person. :)

Thank you Jerry and Gforce, you are both so very kind.

A testimony to a sensitive caring human being who knows themselves inside and out and admits where they fall short but lives with it. Lots of worries and concerns but you still know how to have fun. You just described what being human is all about. Amazing. Thanks so much for sharing



I love this, you seem quite well rounded to me