I Think Some People Aren't *ready* to Have Children.

Call me a bleeding heart humanist, but I still hold dear the notion that the vast masses of human mess out have the chance at healing and finding their way. There are some people who most certainly shouldn't ever have children for the child's welfare - paedophiles, sociopaths and such like.

Still, I think that most of the time, when people talk about "some people shouldn't have kids", it's usually in reference to people who are inappropriate parents because of their current life situation.

But we all have the capacity for change, growth and learning. And the most extreme situations can be turned around with the correct leverage.

That said, there are many people who have children whom I feel are simply not ready to have children yet. For many of these people, people whilst in middle of drug dependency, or out of purely selfish motivation,  the act of having a child is an act of violence and harm towards their offspring. Such people are simply not ready (and may never be ready) to provide any appropriate environment for a child, and that environment includes a safe conception (free of influence of drug use and abuse, chronic alcoholism and so forth).

What's more, the collective body of know-how about child rearing, from the finer points of detail to the broad principles, is no longer an essential part of our culture. In days gone by, when family groups were stronger, or collective/community responsibility existed for child raising, it was hard to escape learning about the art of raising children.

These days, our knowledge about raising children is much improved and frequently less trauma inspiring, but it is information that is locked away. People must seek it out, and sift through conflicting opinions and anecdotes.

Fortunately the urge to reproduce, and reproduce well, still triumphs over the damage done by a culture intent on decollectivism and individualism above all else.  And instinct itself is strong.

But a lot of the damage we see done through inadequate parental education, and inappropriate timing of parenthood is really a product of society's restructuring. Too many important things have been taken for granted in search of ever greater productivity and the false idol of economic growth.
TheTardyDodo TheTardyDodo
31-35, M
4 Responses Jun 28, 2007

well written. you bring up a lot of good points. Unfortunately society in America can do nothing to stop people from having kids. The reverse is true. We reward people with tax breaks and child care to have kids. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts

I really like this story.<br />
Well done.

I agree with everything you wrote. most impressive.

Very well written.