No Words Are Adequate

I am very sorry for the things I so carelessly said to you last December. During those days, my mind was worn and fatigued from a severe lack of sleep over several days.  At the time, I honestly thought that I was doing something honorable and respectful, but the destruction that my words caused, and the loss of you as a friend ranks among the worst things I’ve ever done or have ever experienced.

The right thing for me to do would have been to say nothing. But it is too late. I live with the sorrow and embarrassment every day as I suffer the consequences of my actions. I will never have the opportunity to go back in time and correct my terrible mistake. If I could, this would have never happened.

I am so very sorry for the anger and the hurt that I caused a true lady. Just as I ask God every day for his forgiveness, I am also asking for your undeserved mercy and forgiveness. I cannot adequately put into words how deeply sorry that I am.

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Update, March 10, 2010;  After three long months, I was forgiven by my friend.  Thank you for all of your comments.

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4 Responses Feb 17, 2010

I'm glad you were forgiven my new friend. It is nice to know that you were sincerely sorry & willing to admit it. That takes courage & shows that you truly know how to be the kind of friend I'm looking to have & become.<br />
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Blessings my friend, Always

This certianly seems like a sincere and humble apology. I hope that it will soften her heart toward you. But it may take some time--so, if she does give you silence, or no response--or the cold shoulder, don't be too concerned. Remember you have done what you can to rectify the situation--she has it in writing, in hand. The ball is now in her court. Go on being respectful to her, however she takes your apology. At this point, if she does not take it well, let that be her problem. Just continue to pray for her, that she might be forgiving and let go of the hurt-- so that the both of you can get on with your lives and your working relationship.

I can easily relate because I also did something beyond apologies, and to a woman, as well. So when you mentioned "I am so very sorry for the anger and the hurt that I caused a true lady" it struck a chord. No sordid details are necessary (right?) - point being that it took years for the issue to pass. Deep fear, reluctance and ignorance teamed up on me and like being in an accident, I couldn't think straight for awhile. So I held it in tight. But after I understood the real causes and meaning, I did forgive myself. She had already forgiven me years before. <br />
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So now you can go ahead and change that train wreck avatar into something like, oh say a fully-loaded train going uphill, HaHa?! Also, since you mention Spanish, I figure she's Latin (like me); so one might be a bit careful 'cause Latina's can be "wise" these days - Woof! Suerté! 2Buddies…

I can tell it took courage to say this. There is a chance that the other party may sense that you regret the incident and would like to apologize. We can never tell what another person is thinking – we may think we know, but we really don’t because we can’t read another person’s mind. Time does heal and the other party may be ready for it. If so, then it is you who carry the self-imposed burden; thus you begin with forgiving yourself. Yes it took many, many years for me to learn this one the hard way. They may have already actually forgiven you, but you have not forgiven yourself. If that letter had a life of its own, it would already be struggling to leave your hand. What’s the worst that could happen? Free yourself; you know you want to do it, release that letter - let it go...