Circumstancial Agrophobia

thinking is exhausting. ive spent alot of my time on the dole and on the sick. work and college seem to interrupt the pattern rather than shape it. i love my bed. my own little sanction. that is driving me silently insane. but at least i can be insane. when you do too much, you have to pretend to others and yourself that this is what you actually wanna be doing. its bullshit. you know youre in denial. its just seeing how far you can push it. you know that around the corner a breakdown is imminent, its always there, but you try to squeeze a little bit of socialness out of yourself in the last few remaining weeks. thing is, i wouldnt want to be busy. im glad i do too little. its just the thoughts that are the problem.

piggygoff piggygoff
22-25, F
2 Responses Jul 6, 2007

I feel this exact same way and I'm both glad I'm not the only one in the world and sad that I'm not the only one in the world at the same time.

not everyone hates their jobs ... i had one i LOVED and i was PASSIONATE about it. but now i'm unable to do that. BUT you are correct in that people fake smiles to coworkers, friends and family when they'd rather be home in bed after a hard day instead of at the baby shower they're obligated by proxy to attend, etc. this is true without a doubt!