Very Exhausting...

I think about everything people say to me, all that I have gone through and about stupid things that are (long) in the past. It actually keeps me awake. People easily comment on how 'I shouldn't think all that much behind a simple saying/joke' but my mind did not come with an off-button like theirs do, apparently.

I now turn the tv on to some stupid comedy channel and put tv on a standby timer whenever I want to go to sleep. It will only take me fifteen minutes to doze off into the night, as opposed to the hours that my thoughts will otherwise keep me up.
Analeigh Analeigh
22-25, F
2 Responses Mar 9, 2011

Off button?
I revel in my thoughts, live thousands of lives within them.
I realized many years ago I am very shy and as I looked around I saw so many others afraid to reach across the gulf, so I put out my hand. Lights came on, welcome mats glowed their joy to open. I was alone in my imagination. They craved me touch, grasped my hand and smiled in relief.

Give yourself permission.

I write long letter (along with long posts and comments) and my very ambitious daughter told me the other day, being president seemed less important after a long night of retreading my long, handwritten lets to her. She would prefer an interesting life, one of uncertainty, but filled with experience.

Many nights I have lain alone. Sad with my own isolation, but remembering my loves, my experiences and the lessons and wisdom that come with them.

Now I will dream of your eyes filled with rapture as I sink into your mozzarella cleft and hear the gasp and see the quake as you succumb. My bed, with only myself within it, will be filled with your tears and your soft, endearing eyes engulfing me. I imagine my power, but know I am helpless within your ambitions for us.

Hey kittycollar, thank you again! I feel reassured to read that maybe I can learn to stand the storm in my head better by growing older. I wish you a lovely day too!