I Find It To Be A Curse But I Can;t Stop...

Yes curse can't be stopped, I get that... well it ruins me and I always think about things that have impacted me. Like bad experiences and how I couldve avoided them or making plans and finding all the outcomes. It generally leads to inaction and when i put it to use it fails... horribly. Honestly I think its lack of confidence and i can bring myself to spontaneously act and go with the flow and use instinct because my logic prevents that. EX: Girl. me. I like her from only a few things people said about her. Well I research the best approaches, it says get to know her, talk, casually, and i didn't or at least not enough. then at graduation night(we both play there for orchestra and that's the only time i see her and had chances to talk to her for 10 WEEKS) Long story short I tried to as to hang out over summer, freaked her out, accidently tailed her nearing the end of the night, stopped waited and she walked right past me to her ride home. Well now this thought is still haunting me and i think i should stop. My overactive mind is killing me and keeping me awake at nights. Daytime  is fine its just those times at night. I try to forget but my mind says " Try figure out what you did wrong!" (Like that'll help) I mentally am going to give her up but my mind is still making it's own plans. This whole thing just bothers me and creep myself and other out. My mind has also gone down darker paths of what-ifs... It sometimes scares me. That's me, only a part this thing only has a hold on my ???? (some part of me)
Tomok93 Tomok93
18-21, M
Jun 20, 2011