I Think Too Much
There are always random, bonkers thoughts in my funny little head but don't you find it funny how a certain smell can invoke memories and thoughts?
My bedroom has a husband in it, a husband who drank too much beer last night. If you know the smell that emanates from such a situation you will understand the assault my nostrils encountered this morning.
Drinking was always a huge issue for me. Like most people the moment I was old enough I was down the pub drinking too much and being sick. I only did this once though. I don't like heavy drinkers. I will tell you why.
I actually did not drink at all between the ages of 20 and 30 but that's another story.
I am sat here with that smell in my nose, the smell that invokes thoughts. Making me think too much again.
My father left me when I was 7. My mother then spends the next 5 years looking for a new man. At I would guess 13 she found him. He is now my step father.
He is a decent bloke now. Back then though he was a heavy drinker. He and my mum used to leave us home alone every weekend, go out and get wasted. Come home and fight.
They would fight about everything including my brother and me. I hear them, him at the top of his voice declaring I was selfish and self centered. Horrible things, things no 14 year old should ever hear.
He would hit my mum, he would hit my brother, he would hit me.
Later when I was 18 I came home from the club, they were arguing, a window had been smashed. My mother was crying and bleeding. I stood up to him, my mother might be weak but I was not. He went for me. This is the only time I have ever hit anyone. I thumped him straight in the face. He went down. I stood over him and said "c'mon, get up, if you dare" he looked at me with such shock and fear I almost laughed. I told him if he ever touched my mother again I would kill him.
As far as i know he never has hit her again. I think he still got drunk a lot and shouted, the smell was always there the next morning.
The smell reminds me of weak drunk men, bullys, cowards, my step dad. Makes me think too much.
I don't drink beer or lager or cider or wine. I drink spirits only. Spirits to me do not have the same morning after smell. It never occurred to me that that is why until recently.
My bedroom has a husband in it, a husband who drank too much beer last night. If you know the smell that emanates from such a situation you will understand the assault my nostrils encountered this morning.
Drinking was always a huge issue for me. Like most people the moment I was old enough I was down the pub drinking too much and being sick. I only did this once though. I don't like heavy drinkers. I will tell you why.
I actually did not drink at all between the ages of 20 and 30 but that's another story.
I am sat here with that smell in my nose, the smell that invokes thoughts. Making me think too much again.
My father left me when I was 7. My mother then spends the next 5 years looking for a new man. At I would guess 13 she found him. He is now my step father.
He is a decent bloke now. Back then though he was a heavy drinker. He and my mum used to leave us home alone every weekend, go out and get wasted. Come home and fight.
They would fight about everything including my brother and me. I hear them, him at the top of his voice declaring I was selfish and self centered. Horrible things, things no 14 year old should ever hear.
He would hit my mum, he would hit my brother, he would hit me.
Later when I was 18 I came home from the club, they were arguing, a window had been smashed. My mother was crying and bleeding. I stood up to him, my mother might be weak but I was not. He went for me. This is the only time I have ever hit anyone. I thumped him straight in the face. He went down. I stood over him and said "c'mon, get up, if you dare" he looked at me with such shock and fear I almost laughed. I told him if he ever touched my mother again I would kill him.
As far as i know he never has hit her again. I think he still got drunk a lot and shouted, the smell was always there the next morning.
The smell reminds me of weak drunk men, bullys, cowards, my step dad. Makes me think too much.
I don't drink beer or lager or cider or wine. I drink spirits only. Spirits to me do not have the same morning after smell. It never occurred to me that that is why until recently.
By:
living4now
Age:
41-45
,
Female
