i think so much, it makes me stupid...

i've always seen things other people didn't, felt things, questioned things - and while that set me apart and made me horribly lonely, sometimes, i valued it because i didn't want to be another mindless individual and because it made me who i am. but there is a point where it just goes to far. where you begin to think so much, you forget how to feel. how to live. how to TRUST - yourself, others, life.
before i talk, i think of how it could be misunderstood. when others speak, i wonder what they really mean. i read between the lines when there is nothing between the lines. it becomes hard for me to take things at face value. i used to see things no one else saw, now i see things that aren't there. it takes a concious effort for me to believe people care about me when they say they do or even when they show it.
and this overthinking and overanalysing is *agonizing*, mostly because it breeds fear and doubt. i believe in the importance of questioning things, but trust is just as important and there *is* questioning everything can be just as dangerous as questioning nothing.
and i think part of it is overcompensation. i've been misunderstood all my life, so i always act as it i am walking on glass, trying to make sure not to say the wrong thing. i have seen the fakeness of people who lie to even themselves, and i avoid that so obsessively that i feel like i am losing myself anyway. all these fears are counterproductive.
but, things are changing. i am changing. and it had been working, so much so that over the past year, a number of people have commented on it. and i think that is important to share. if i can do it, you can. it starts with making the decision. interestingly enough, it starts in the mind. my thoughts still plague me, sometimes, and the progress sometimes feels unbearably slow (but i try to focus on the small victories and the little efforts, not on the failures or the immensity of the task) but i think i am starting to take ownership over my thoughts, rather than letting them own me.
Fahrenheit Fahrenheit
22-25, F
31 Responses Jul 30, 2007

I am living the same life from my childhood till now. I have tried a lot to overcome these thinking, but not yet succeed. Now-a-days, I did stop trying, because I am just me. Also, my mind is always in the process of thinking something, day & night, many different things. I love it. maybe I am more of a thinker than a doer. Because of this, I have lost many important things in my life, including a girl with whom I was in love, but never talked with her even when she tried to talk with me & I had multiple opportunities. She got married few years ago. Maybe I am very shy OR affected from Social Anxiety Disorder, which don't want to leave my mind. Glad to hear that, you have overcome your thoughts. Good Luck. Best wishes.

Every time you are will someone, keep in mind that what ever it is it doesn't matter...because if someone cares...cares... if not.. so what... just enjoy life and don't take it seriously because.. NO ONE WILL GET OUT OF IT ALIVE ! :) relax give yourself a break from thinking too much..

Its just not that easy as you think. Most of the time it seems impossible.

If you think too much , you just habit of thinking positive, that,s all.

Here's my two cents. This may or may not be valid, but it is what I think. First of all, it seems like we (including myself) suffers from anxiety problems. I've learned to control it through meditation and courage (feel the fear and do it anyway). Second, I think we need to learn to trust our hearts and instincts and what they're telling us and gather up the courage to go with it regardless what the outcome may be. Follow our heart and intuition no matter where it takes us. Thirdly, it seems like our problems may stem from lacking directions and meanings in our lives. That is probably why we question ourselves, others, and the world around us as often as we do. We need a central mission that keeps us center and balance and give us meaning and direction to go where we need to go. Anyway. that is my two cents. For those who want to learn how to control your thoughts and shut them off completely when you want to, try meditation. It helped me. :) Good luck. Stop thinking. Don't take life too seriously, you won't make it out alive anyway. ;)<br />
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OH and btw. I don't believe in using techniques as a permanent solution to anything. The only thing I know that works is finding what it is that is meaningful in your life and stick to it. Trust it with all of your might, relax into it, and go with it regardless of how fearful you may feel (one of the more valuable lessons I've learned in life is to stop tip toeing in life and start taking plunges instead). <br />
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Disclaimer: I am not an expert on this subject! This is ba<x>se solely on my own personal experience and beliefs convicted by constant daily self reflection. If you have any questions, thoughts, or opinions you'd like to share, feel free to mail/message me. <br />
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And thank you fahrenheit for posting this. It makes me feel less crazy in my most vulnerable moments to see that others are having similar experiences too. <br />
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For those who think that you amount to nothing, you're wrong. You are worth more than you'd ever thought you could be. Remember, you can't see the sun if you refuse to open your eyes. Stop your self doubts, stop refusing to believe that you are worth something, and start seeing you for what you truly worth, and that is A LOT (I know, I'm so articulate). But seriously. Some of you think that people don't care about you or what you have to say, I'm here to tell you that people do! I know I do! And I care about you and what you say so much that I can't stop myself from adding more to this post! I am truly passionate about you and everything that you have to say, so keep your heads up, shoulders back, and stand tall 'cause you are worth it. Take care guys! <br />
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(Boy, this "Stop tip toeing through life and take plunges instead" idea is sure working out nicely)

wow,idk im new on here but damn! thats me

I have been the misunderstood "black sheep" all of my life! Been told by more than one therapist that "I think too much". Well! Thank you very much, but I WAS BORN THIS WAY!!!<br />
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If someone out there knows how to turn this "over-thinking" thing off, PLEASE let me know!<br />
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Thanks...

sdc...that happens to me, too. depending on how i feel about the person it can be either mild or...pretty debilitating. i was thinking about it the other day. when i am alone, i have this freedom in my mind (sometimes) but even just being around people - it isn't only that i am tongue-tied when i talk to them, externally, but internally my own private mind constricts, my thought as as well as my actions/words are awkward. it is like i temporarily lose myself...on some level, even though i know, rationally, it isn 't true, when i am feeling especially self-conscious i feel like my own mind is no longer private, like people can hear what i am thinking...i don't believe that is the case, at all, my part of me imagines it is, and then i just get distracted. the trick, i think, is not to focus on yourself. focus on the other person, be interested in them, and try to forget yourself, including analyzing what they think of you. but you know, easier said than done. in the end, it is much easier to breathe when i am alone.

When I'm not around people I can think perfectly but when I am my thoughts are boggled, my memory short, thinking about what to say especially around the opposite sex. When I write comments on people's "article" I doubt that what I'm saying makes sense or is somehow "not legitimate". Someday will I be a crazy homeless schizo ****? who knows. I wish I knew you...you seem to understand.

No not even when I am alone....I am still haunted by my own mind...****

When I'm not around people I can think perfectly but when I am my thoughts are boggled, my memory short, thinking about what to say especially around the opposite sex. When I write comments on people's "article" I doubt that what I'm saying makes sense or is somehow "not legitimate". Someday will I be a crazy homeless schizo ****? who knows. I wish I knew you...you seem to understand.

Ha! This is completely nuts. Reading these posts have felt like home, unfortunately. My brain races and races... Until it feels like it's just running on circles. Ridiculous. I don't consider myself crazy... But if this won't drive me to being crazy, nothing ever will! I was doing some research and the closest thing I could come up with is Adult ADHD because i felt that pretty much all the symptoms fit. The problem I saw were the treatments. They all sound so good in concept, but then i apply myself to the equation.... I just don't seem to fit. Even tho I hate medication, I am wondering if it may be best to try. I don't know. Too much thinking. :(

Thanks for all the comments. It was helpful for me to read them. I suffer the same way. I too think too much. I think there is such a thing as being too intelligent. Some of us have faster minds and so we spend time analyzing stuff most folks don't even consider twice. Thinking so much when others don't is bound to have an effect on relationships. It is unavoidable. They just aren't going to see what you see and they may think you are strange cuz you see it and they don't. So keep what you see to yourself when talking to those that don't and once in a while you will meet another who sees what you see and you can share it then. Like on this site. thanks again.

Hey :) I just wanted to say I couldn't agree with you more ! and I really think it's important to know everyone is not alone in this though as I am the same as you guys in this experience... we've got EP people

I have been astonished by the comments to this story about how much all these people feel at 'home' here.. I too feel at home here because every so often I will catch myself feeling all the thoughts and feelings you guys have been able to so accurately describe ! Thank you all very very much for contributing to this site and particular story because it has allowed others relief and I think we have all shared this way of spreading our load that we carry on our backs ? Maybe this sounds crazy and it might only mean something to me but I think I feel that we have all been able to feel the weight being lifted off us a little bit as we are now able to share it together :) Thank you ..

I can TOTALLY relate to this! I have so much trouble believing that people actually care about me....and i have trouble trusting people....and yea i have way too many questions xD

Reading your post is like being inside my own head.

Well I'm here because it so happens that google led me here. Having read all there is to read, all I can say is that "atleast" I am not the only one with "such a brain". I don't even know where to start because everything is just so complex...i'm a good person. I don't bother anyone. I try to reach out to people but I'm never understood. It's like...it's complex. THIS IS WHO I AM. I know what I don't wanna know. I know it because I see it. I close my eyes to only open them right back to it. Why do I know? Did I have to know? If only I knew that I would soon know. If only I knew that I could choose, I wouldn't have chosen it. And did I choose it? If only I knew that I was to know this, knowing that I would know would've made things clearer. But I am, and I know what I don't wanna know. I have to tolerate the pressure that comes with such knowing. If only I knew, I would not have come. If only I knew, I would have chosen another. But why must i know it. It confuses me. Others know but they don't know that they were to know it, but seem okay that they know, for the reality in which we exist, some knowledge is accepted, and some...well, it isn't accepted. Of all this i know, that which allows me to know what I know is something beyond when compared to another. I know it is special for what it allows me to know, but why should I know this. If only I knew, I wouldn't be who I am. If only I knew, I would've chosen the other. If only I knew... if only I knew. The wonderful thing about what I know is that it allows me to know other things that know one who knows it about themselves, know. The bad thing is that no one would ever know that which I know. Know that which allows me to know what those who know it about themselves know what I know. Maybe I'm confused. But why am I confused. For me to answer that, I should first know why I know what I don't wanna know. Events have unfolded, a further testimony to what I know. Or maybe I should ask God why. But God won't answer. I have tried to let others know what I know, but only to be met with huge walls resisting my efforts. Why don't they wanna know. They think they know, but I know what they think they know and also know why they think they know. Such is a pity because what they know isn't what is to be known because it is a false knowing. Why do I have to know what they think they know before showing me their false knowing. Today, something that I wanted to know didn't happen due to past events that have moulded all that I am to this day. I also desired to know the knowing of another, show the other what I know. But because the other knows a false knowing, I was not to know the knowing of the other and the other wasn't to know my knowing.

Testing 1 2 3

i totally relate with all of you, its incredibly excrutiating sometimes.. because when i start to think a lot most of the time its about negative thoughts, nothing suicidal or anything like that but, thoughts of betrayal from ppl that i kno love me and trust me and in who i can trust... or even worse is when i start seeing certain things and i start thinking in a negative way what they mean, why a certain person did that, or whatever type of stupid ideas that come into my mind, and this goes on for almost the entire day... thoughts that make me feel bad, make me doubt, make me insecure, make me not trust on the person im thinking about... for example when i had a fight with a very good friend, practically my brother, and he didnt answer my phone or didnt call me, all i could think of was that he was laughing at me while watchin his phone or that he was making fun of me with all of our other friends, or that he did not want anything to do with me anymore.. these types of thoughts r the ones that come to me... its horrible, cuz i kno i can trust him.. but they still come to mind, no matter what.. and even worse thoughts come to my mind when that happens with my girlfriend.... its physically and mentally exhausting...

I could relate 100%,you said it perfect!

Thank you for posting. It's good to know that there are other people out there that have the same problem as me. It's nice to know that I'm not crazy

on point to how i feel and what i struggle with. thanks

insightful

I really thought I was one of the few people on this planet like this. After being conscus for the last forty out of 63 years, I hope you are finding out how to make your life work. One secret is to see what around you, especially the repition of things and events and take a chance on your life. I don't feel my life is over, but i definately feel like I have missed a lot of my life and creative person I am and have always wanted to be. was committed to a husband, then after divorce comitted to a lover, and after the loves, committed to my children. Sadly, I am a product of that older generation and can't break away from doing for others no matter how hard I try. I have meditated, dream therapy, rebirthing, scientology, color therapy, group therapy, 12 step programs, actin lessons to release the inner child. I am a good psychic and have not only praticed but been abe to help other intuitive. I have channeled spirits, I can hold your watch or ancient crystals and tell you about the owner. I have seen a snake turn into a majical prince in his enclosure. I can tell you what my dead beloved dog said to me. I had a wall hanging from Asia tell me its story, the little old gentleman who made and sold it to a tourist. I bought chair from the salvage store and the chair told me it's story. Of course I believe, Sthephen King. My adult daughter needs a lot of my attention, so much to the effect it leaves me with no emotional time to me. My adult son did not receive the benefit of my wisdom. He shows but wont acknowdledge his abilities. My son I have much to more than I should have, emotionally, mentally, and concretely($$$$$). He is about to be out on his posterier again. I didn't do a good job of teaching him to be a good person. He does not live with me. My daughters are very sucessful, but my one daughter may be loosing her position due to her mental health. My other daughter because she just graduated from college the third time and hasn't found a position yet. I think i have been depressed all my life. I have always fought the symptoms with all the stuff I used to do. I really don't like me writing all this. Deep inside me I feel no one wants to read all this. I don't do hobbies. I do have hobby interest, it seems I don't have the emotional energy to do my hobbies. My house seems to be organized on the surface, but it needs a lot of TLC. I do think far too much and really do not know how to turn it off. Even my dreams at night are boring and I really can control them through prayer, dream requests, etc. I've always wondered how other people lived, talked about, etc.. I never thought my life was about anything, even though the exterior seems to say otherwise. I' responding to this because I'm trying another self fix it. Who knows maybe this is the last place I look. Maybe this is the key. Hmmmmmm I can only wonder as I write.

I particularly liked this: "i think i am starting to take ownership over my thoughts, rather than letting them own me" - you are the one who is aware of the thinking :-)<br />
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and this: "take a step back and try to realize when my thoughts where actually harmful " - watching and so not causing yourself suffering :-)

glad i am not alone. but seriously, progress feels so unbearably slow sometimes it feels like moving backwards. >.<<br />
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how has the meditation been going? i have tried a few times, and it can be pretty relaxing, but i have never really sunk into it in the way that i want to. i think i used to be much more balanced between thinking a feeling...not so much anymore. shame.<br />
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and Celainn, i don't have a concrete answer to those questions. i guess what i did was just to take a step back and try to realize when my thoughts where actually harmful and when they might have more to do with self-doubt than what i really feel/think. ya know? actually, a lot of it was just - having the thoughts, but ignoring them. where i used to allow them to make my hesitate, i did my best to be like, **** that, i'm going to do it anyway. yeah...don't know if that helps. or even if you will ever read this...

Couldn't have described myself better. My problem, is changing it! My mom keeps pushing meditation. "Progress feels unbearably slow" yeah don't I know it! Glad you said it.

I had a bit of trouble reading this, Fahrenheit... In fact I often have a bit of trouble looking at your page. The conduits of congruent similitude we share, are truly remarkable. It is a tad disconcerting in fact to identify such protrusive parallelism in another...at least for me lol. Sorry, that does sound a little strange, but I would assume that you understand why I wrote it...I hope, cause otherwise I sound positively psycho LOL ;) Anyway, It is quite ironic how one covets an overactive sagacity in all it's inherent iniquity....and all the perpetrated detriment it brings upon the one who propagated it. The consummate achievement of equanimity under the veil of confusion and doubt cast upon one by too many thoughts and ideas is certainly no easy task...I fear I may still be at step one... or possibly never move forward. The esoteric nature of such a flaw manifests itself in the subsistent proficiency as a multifaceted parasitic sovereign influence over one's existential bearing upon the world. In the end no branch of life is free of its immalleable profusion of the all encompassing ambiguity, hindrance, and pain, of which it purveys. Chances are I am going to get caught in a rut, spawned from my own arrogance and intransigent refusal to change. I really hope not...but I certainly do admire the strides evident in the intrinsic change of which you describe. I really wish you all the best...and hope that I may one day mature to caliber that you have....hehe, its quite interesting, I saw you on the "I love bon jovi" experience. Never in my life have I met a gaseous intellect, or more importantly, dilapidated incite, in a person who likes bon jovi ;) The band either brings out the best in people, or causes such people to gravitate towards the harmonic semblance of their music. Such people do seem to be few and far between however, at least where I live, but I think that there is something in that :) I wish you the best. And really appreciate the comments you added to my posts.

i hear ya! i'm glad only one of my professor's is giving me reading over the break! i can *finally* do some personal reading, for a chance. damn, i miss that! ^^;

I think I will! (along with the 20 other books I'm reading over break, lol)

another reason why you should read Maslow!

I have nothing else to add, but I just wanted to say that I can definitely relate to a lot of that, especially the part about thinking so much that you forget how to feel, live and trust.