I Think I Know Why I Think Too Much

It has just occurred to me, I am not my parents, and I'm not my upbringing. I can only truly be defined by what I bring to the table at that point in time.

 

Thinking to much, hell I've talked myself out of things faster than I talked myself in because of thinking too much.  The whole thinking too much started with I was a kid. I never felt like part of my family, and used to ask if I was adopted regularly.  I guess this hurt my parents when I did, because I didn't understand why I felt/was so different to everyone else around me.  This got me thinking about how I could better myself, so that I fitted in..and that started a life long thing of thinking about everyone and everything and every possibility under that sun.  Experiences are linked, entwined like a lovers embrace. Well normal ones are I suppose, mine seem to end up like a giant rubber band ball.  At least I have a little more understanding as to why now..

Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody
31-35, F
7 Responses Feb 22, 2010

Thank you :)

If i take that in context to what i wrote it would be a positive thing .. cos it means getting to that light sooner.. But if i read it how it is i see a train behind that light that is going to bite you .. hmmmm.. Dont be a rabbit in the headlights please :) .. be the one who stands aside and lets it pass before heading towards the natural light .. thats if you wrote it with negative inclinations.. take care

umm currently that light is at the end of a very long tunnel - and it's an on coming train for me... :/

lol.. i do write everything down and have tried to talk to people.. that was my stop gap measure.. have over 200 pages from the last year.. Music is working very well atm :) i tend to release more to music.. It tends to drag me down when i write too much about the past. I wish i could look back and see that things were not so bad, but reality they were worse :( The more i look back the more i see a tough kid who didnt let things get to me half as much as they should.. <br />
Distraction and keeping myself busy i feel is they only way out of this mess... I really do think waaay to much and continuing to think about these things wil solve nothing.. Release is good, But getting on with life is better as when i am busy i dont have time to think about these things... Now i only have to motivate myself .. lol.. which is the fun part.. NOT <br />
thankyou anyway.. every word of advice from others helps me understand myself just that little bit more... I do see that light at the end of the hallway emitting from behind a closed door. I will walk to it one day and see what is on the other side :) <br />
Hate to admit it but i hope its love, because that has always been hidden behind door 4 and have never experienced it yet.. well not from others. <br />
Good luck to you with the future to :)

time.. that's how I deal with it. I get on here, I talk it out with mates instead of holding the random useless thoughts in my head. They aren't worth it any longer to hold them in and suffer as a result. Good, bad or indifferent I tell my darling - sometimes I think I need to listen to those words myself...*giggles* fcuk I'm good! <br />
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Try writing it down, just writing whatever comes to mind..not stopping to analyse the shite out it all. You'd be surprised what comes out - years later looking back in reflection to it all..things were not always as bad as they felt at the time. With age, sometimes comes wisdom too.. <br />
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To know that I may have helped one person - is really enough thanks.. so thank you! <br />
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Good luck to you too, where ever your hopes, dreams and aspirations lead you - may they take you far! :)

thinking too much can be horrible, i do to and get myself in a mental knot sometimes. When i was young i was not loved much by my parents, they must have cared but never actually said they loved me.. From then on i have questioned everything. how do you deal with it?. i have my own ways, however they are just a stop gap for now. i hate thinking too much and often wish i was simple.. Thanks anyways for your story, always good to be able to relate. good luck with it in the future :)

I love the image of the rubber band ball, thank you! Years ago I had a huge green rubber band ball (everything where I worked was delivered wrapped with a green rubber band) and I finally gave it away because it looked "fake" to me. Now I know why--all the rubber bands were the same color! My mental rubber band ball is all sorts of different colors, and I love it.