I read an article online yesterday saying that all men cheat. It's a part of who they are, always wanting and needing more. Even if they are getting it at home, the allure of someone new, different, someone who is just not their wife, they simply can't say no.

Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. It's simply better not to know.

But the problem lies in, what if I were to find out? What if I found a text or an e-mail from a mistress, a lover, saying she missed him and needed to see him?

I'd be crushed. So hurt, so betrayed, so demeaned.

Yet, I've watched my husband have sex with someone else. Participated even. Enjoyed the experience immensely.

But the thought of him being with someone else behind my back is a whole other issue. It's the lie, the deception.

If he were feeling a need to be with someone different, I would hope he would tell me. I'm sure that sounds completely ridiculous and unrealistic, but why does it have to be that way? I would rather him be honest with his needs and desires than be hiding and sneaking. A want of something different doesn't have to lessen his love and desire for me.

Are our expectations of monogamy why our divorce rates are so high? Is there another way? Maybe it's not for everyone, but maybe it's something to think about.
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2 Responses Jul 30, 2010

I remember reading something like when we started to settle down in big, agriculture ba<x>sed societies, marriage for the peaceful transfer of power and property. In the industrial age, it carried over. Marriage creates a stable environment for the rearing of children. I remember some radio talk show host says that men are as faithful as their environment. If you create an environment that it is hard to cheat, he will not cheat. Some guys are playas all their lives. I know 50 year old men going out with 20 year olds because they got game! Some guys are so afraid of losing their wives they will not cheat. Unfortunately, women are competitive and only go after the richest, best looking, tallest men. They get one egg each month and they want to make it count! Men produce millions of *****. It's a numbers game.

thats too funny cause i have swinged with my husband and he still cheats on me he even left me for the other woman we were going to play with cause i said she was a druggie and I did not think she was safe