God, You All Are Telling Me!

I am still getting over those rules that are placed on people nowadays. Do you have any idea how damaged my sexuality was (I was raised with the belief that you're a **** if you express yourself sexually)? It's not healthy to have so many stipulations, and to have such anxiety about the "dirty nature" of it. I should not have to be ashamed because I want to screw someone, be it man or woman. I am a normal human with normal urges and a strong desire to connect to my lovers.
I read somewhere that our sexuality is not as base or primal as we consider it to be. To be frank, I believe it. If it was so animalistic, then we would not have fetishes, kinks and "little buttons" that work on some people and not on others. The entire act of sex can be complex! Especially when you incorporate fantasies, toys... Jeez. I wish my parents had expressed healthier views on it so I wouldn't be in my mid 20s trying to undo the damage.
FireCoyote FireCoyote
26-30, F
5 Responses Oct 12, 2011

Bravo! - You've awakened to the realistic and honest understanding of female sexuality

Churches need to get out of people's bedrooms. What a married couple does in the privacy of their own home is none of the church's business, and the church has no business making up rules. Far too many people live with "guilt" because they "violated" some rule a church made up.

im 65 and still feel dirty when it comes to my own sexuality and sexually i have nothing to give i was molested as a child, it wasnt the molester i hated, it was me during my life i could escape from it i thought but it was always there and still today and even as i write this i have tears streaming down my cheeks.

I am so sorry to read this. Know that it was not your fault what that person did to you. It was their malignant and disturbing behavior that made you feel that way. I wish I could hold your head in my hands, look you right in the eyes and tell you that it is NOT your fault on what happened.
It is NOT your fault. Say it out loud. Say it loudly. Cry it out. It is NOT YOUR FAULT. You are not to blame. It was that vile predator that took advantage of your innocence back then.
Have you talked to anyone about this? Are you a part of the group on EP? I'm sure there are so many unfortunate others like you who would gladly help you. You can talk with me, know that, but my experience only goes so far....

Moreover, you should not hate yourself. I hated myself, and still have a twinge of it due to what happened back in the day. I've been coerced into sexual acts before, and hate(d) myself because I knew there was something I could have done to change that... or so I thought. People have told me the flip side, but it's hard to believe them.

Babe, I'm 26, and I'm just now really learning to enjoy my sexuality. I was raised in the church, sex was never talked about. But when sex WAS talked about, I heard thing's like you better not be having sex, oral sex isn't Godly, anal sex is an abomination, and a woman with a high sex drive is a harlot, oh, and ************ is off limits to. Hearing this made me self conscious about my body, made me believe I was weird because I was young and having that tingling between my thighs. I was thinking about what sex was and how to get some. <br />
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Now in my mid twenties, married and a man whose sex drive is lower than mine and who has the same church views on sex....it's hard. Even harder because I believe you can enjoy every ascpect of sex in marriage and still be holy, saved, whatever.<br />
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You have to explore your body, I mean dang, it's yours, touch your body, your ears, touch your neck gently with your fingertips, then gently grab your neck, feel your heart beat in your neck, the slender or thickness of your neck, feel how sexy it is. Down to the middle of your breast, palm your breast, pinch your nipples, feel them swell as you stimulate them. Touch your stomach, grab it, if you have a big stomach, so what, it's yours, love it, grab it. Down between your thighs, touch your lips, explore the inside, feel the wetness, taste yourself on your fingers, down to your knees, your feet and toes, grab you arse, stimulate your anus with the tip of your finger. Use toys of fruits, see how the flavors of you taste with the flavors or various fruits and veggies.<br />
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Now get butt naked in the mirror, and watch yourself explore yourself, you should be turned on at this point.<br />
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It's YOUR body, it's YOU! you shouldn't feel bad about your desires, shouldn't feel that you body is off limits because it's disgusting, it's you. How dare you call your body disgusting. EXPLORE! Get rid of those thoughts that sex is bad and parts of you are off limits!!!!!! learn to love you, and then when you get a partner, you'll know what you like, you'll love you. And you can expect him/her to love you too. If they feel that you're body is disgusting or off limits, then fine, let it be off limits to them. You need to be with someone who isn't afraid to take ALL of you.<br />
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..please excuse my typos, I don't proff read.



great read! i am repairing my damage from long ago too. these days i have a new outlook and attitude...oh and experiences... may i add ;)

Ty! And oh my.... ^_^ Same here, I will add.