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Can Two Straight Guys Fall In Love?

Can two straight boys fall in love? I think the question is stupid but i love my best friend Josh more than anyone or anything in this whole world.
Josh and i spend most of our time together fighting over some stupid thing or another or just curled up on the sofa watching tv. I think we are two comfortable with each other to the point that even now as i writing this in the dim light of my bedroom i keep looking back at him sleeping.
We kissed once after one two many beers and it took us a bit to understand what that means and i know and he knows that nothing will happen between us i like the closeness that we have created.
I like how unafraid he is to hug me, play with me, be close with me out in public. I like the way he knows what im thinking and can put a smile on my face even when i feel the world sucks.
So can two straight boys fall in love? Yes they can and that love is the bond that two people can share with one another. the respect they have for each other.
well...i'll end here i woke up Josh and he's winning about the glow of the computer. on a different note i wish he would go to his own place the snoring is kinda annoying. lol

goodnight EP
Drossi28 Drossi28 26-30, M 24 Responses May 7, 2012

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I believe two straight guys can fall in love. It's not as rare as one might think, though few would admit to it. As for Wrestles, I have my doubts the truth in his story. For the most part its the ideal college bromance, but the fact they both became happily married yet continue the intenseness doesn't seem realistic. It is however the dream bromance for most college guys whether they will admit it or not.
My best friend in college was somewhat of a toned down version of Wrestles's story. Me and Stephen became best friends our junior year. We clicked and became extremely close very fast. He was very "touchy" and though I wasn't prior, I learned to be with him. As our friendship progressed, we freqently hung out shirtless with our arms around each other. We were roommates our final year of college and many times we would watch tv shirtless or even naked and arms around each other on the couch. We would usually say stuff to each other like "I love you dude" or "Dude I am glad I met you." We never kissed but would put our mouths together sometimes and share each other's breath. We would also rest our cheeks together sometimes.
Towards the end our our final year of college we started spending more time naked with each other. If we were in our dorm room we were usually naked. Probably the gayest thing we did in public was during the spring boxer run we walked/ran in our boxers and kept our arms around each others' shoulders, ribcage to ribcage, the entire time.
After graduation however, he moved to Oakland and I moved to North Carolina. Stephen is now engaged and will be married soon. We went from talking on the phone every day to now every few months. We have since grown apart and I doubt I will ever have such a relationship again. There are different seasons in life though and the ideal male friendship at 27 is different than it is at 23. I do however think every college guy should have this type of bromance.

Because Man2Man c.q. Bromance relationships fascinate me and I also believe that every human has homosexual feelings in some way, I want to put down a few remarks about wrestles' reaction (10-29-2012).
His story reminds me of D H Lawrence's novel Women In Love, where the two male protagonists try to cope with feelings they have for each other. What Gerald and Birkin share with their respective girlfriends, they want with each other too. Lawrence however keeps it on a platonic level; those two friends never show or mention a sexual interest. Or do they? They have a nude wrestle scene in the book...
You know, Lawrence's novel is not about women in love. It's about men in love. And they don't understand that they are bisexual, or even homosexual. (My guess Gerald is)

What makes me a bit uncomfortable with Wrestles story in the first place is the 'cloning factor'. They have a click because both are like monozyggotic twins. It's like being attracted to oneself. There is something quite narcissistic about it.
He writes that there was - and is - almost constant physical intimacy between him and his friend. He says it isn't sexual. Well, sleeping in each other's arms, soaping each other's dicks under the shower, if all this never led to erections - and we all know what erections want - these men have a disability: they are both a-sexual. But reading on, I learned that they got married and raised families... Whoa.

I don't condemn a bisexual lifestyle and certainly not if the female partners in question accept the idea of having to share their husband with another man. But having sexual feelings - they both got kids, right? - and then not having a SEXUAL relation with a male lover makes no sense. They are able to turn off the rut button, and turn it on again once they return to the marital bedroom... Really?

In Wrestles situation sexual activity seems to me unavoidable. And their relationship has been going on for years. Not wanting sex does not mean that the urge isn't there. So why does their love for each other and their admiration for each other's physiques maintain this sharply defined no-go area? When another guy soaps his erogene parts he risk that his shlong will respond. With 'normal' men this would at least lead to mutual ************ or heterosexual obligation-free frotting (I suppose we all know what that is). Wouldn't it make much more sense if Rich & Rich are simply bisexual?

On top of it all this the story gets a sequel: their sons continue the tradition...
Wow.

But I do not want to imply that Wrestles experience with heterosexual male2male love cannot be a reality. Read this interesting article about an environment that is soaked in testosterone and machismo, and draw your own conclusions:
www_podles_org/Masculinity-and-the-Military_htm
(This board doesn't accept direct links... You can also google on the name Leo J Podles, his column is titled Love In The Trenches)

Hey I really understand your friendship good luck buddy

I just recently experienced something quite similar. I had sexual experiences with both guys and girls in my life yet, I recently decided to move to India for a job. As you can imagine, India is an extremely conservative society and sexuality is usually framed within the context of marriage. Not many other options are available to most people.
In this context, during my most recent assignment (which lasted for 3 weeks) I ended up sharing a room with a male colleague to whom I felt attracted from day one. I put aside my attraction and genuinely attempted to get to know him in depth. We ended up taking long walks daily, talking till late night and sharing our most private life experiences. Slowly, a sort of physical vibe clearly brought us cuddling both during sleep and eventually even while awake. Nothing sexual as such, rather deep affection like holding hands, caressing each other faces and long hugs. He did not mind my persistent erections and I always respected his straight feelings. Nonetheless, we both recognized that we were experiencing a type of love beyond etiquette. It was especially surprising for him, given he is engaged and deeply religious but love does not know the conditioning of the ego.
Although some moments of embarrassments were there, we both followed the flow of our emotions without reaching a sexual release; just lots of affection, sharing and physical closeness. As the assignment ended, we both returned to our respective cities (thousands of miles apart) and respective life routines. I would lie if I wrote I am getting over it, but the sense of gratitude is equally great to the suffering from detachment. Putting a label to what we experienced is just too misleading and, given all the social/cultural/family conditioning, I am not expecting any further move. Life just gave us a gift at the right time for us to embrace. Whatever comes next is difficult to predict, but this feeling of gratitude shall endure and reinforce my belief of love beyond gender.

Aww, this is so cute! I think this kind of love is the best kind. :)

Strait men can be close friends, if there's sexual atraction between them then id say they are bi sexual. I'm strait and I have a very close friend I like and admire but he sure doesn't turn me on, his body is shaped all wrong, his face, his voice everything, he's just a guy, he could never do what a woman could with those smooth curves. It would be like trying to have sex with an animal of some kind.

Looks like you haven't been active on EP recently, but I'll weigh in anyway. I think gay, straight, bisexual, homosexual, heterosexual, etc. are just labels we use to try and categorize people so we can think we've got them figured out. The truth is we're all just plain sexual, and there's really no predicting where we might take that under the right circumstances.

For example, I basically think of myself as straight because the vast majority of guys don't turn me on at all, while quite a few females do. But there was an exception. In school I had a very close friend, and we developed an oddly affectionate relationship for two straight guys. We hugged freely, and even snuggled occasionally, but I've never been like that with any other guy. If he'd ever seemed open, I'd probably have taken it up a few notches, in spite of my conservative beliefs at the time, but he was a little homophobic, so it never happened.

There was one time when he changed clothes in front of me. He turned his back, and the sight of his naked *** gave me a raging *****. I was instantaneously as hard as I've ever been in my life. It was almost painful! I literally ran to the bathroom and jerked off like a madman, imagining my **** in his sweet *** when I blew my load all over the floor! Afterwards, I told him I had the ***** and that was why I ran, but really I just didn't want him to see the effect he had on me and freak out. That and I was afraid that if I didn't *** immediately my **** might actually explode!

Another time I was sitting on the bottom bunk in my room, and he was standing next to the bed, fiddling with something on the top bunk. He was only wearing boxers, and they were right in front of my face. It took all the strength I had not to slide them down and suck him off right there and then. If I'd ever actually seen his ****, I don't think I could have controlled myself, but he was too modest, so I never did.

To this day I still think about him sometimes when I **********, and I really wish that he and I had gotten sexual at least once, but I swear, normally guys don't do a thing for me.

Had the same problem when a friend got changed on my house one time when we were heading to a works event. We are both straight and were both only 17.

He got showered and came out of the bathroom in just his boxer shorts. I immediately got an erection and to make it worse he was supporting an erection too. Had not my Sister been in the other room I would have given him a **** *** or a **** there and then.

Had to make my excuses and leave the room because if I had stayed I knew what would of happened

great story - and it's because of things like this that I pretty regularly get irritated at any sort of label for love - like 'gay' or 'straight' - first, who cares what two people - regardless of gender - do for each other, or care for each other, or love each other? It's nobody's business but your own, and should stay that way.

Second, labels are confining - and all too often prevent two people like you two from sharing whatever they care to share with each other for fear of being 'labeled' or stereotyped.

Thanks for being open, very best to both of you, enjoy wherever you two choose to go with what you have.

Except for the occasional gay bar fun? My dates almost always been str8 friends. Most guys like each other just fine. But quietly, etc. Tell you one thing though - with 'regular' guy something happens? The headspace emotion is unbelievably powerful. You both feel it and the warmth in the eyes deep enough to swim in. That part never goes away...

Wow, this is beautiful too! I've heard of a straight guy that fell for his girlfriend's twin brother and they even had sex! Well, as long as you know where the boundaries are it's all fine. Your wives are awesome 'cause of their understanding!

Beautiful! Love overcomes everything, even the social 'rules' of society. What you have is very special and should be treasured forever. I have the same mutual feelings towards some of my mates but when it comes to sex we prefer girls and that is what separates us from mainstream gay/bi people. All the other feelings are basically the same! I have the exact same deep feelings of love towards family but would I shag them? No.

Yes two straight blokes most certainly can fall in very much in love with each other. It may well be quite different to a gay romance, perhaps not a full on sexual relationship, maybe no hankee pankee at all, but perhaps far more like a brotherly love and that is a most wonderful thing.

Girl please... U 2 are just 2 closeted *******. Snap out of it.....

Thank you for that. Back in 1974, I was in a military school (volunteer) when I met Frank. I grew to love him with all my heart, and I would have done anything he asked me too. I could have seen myself with him for the rest of my life.
I was pulled out of the school and I lost touch with him. I have been lost ever since. I went back to straight but, my heart always belonged to Frank. I wonder what ever happen to Frankie?
This made me realize I was never alone in these feelings. Thank you.

Yes, I would die for some of my marine buddies, and they would also die for me!
That is a powerful love between men in battle!

My best friend is a marine and i know what your saying is true his loyalty and love towards his country, fellow marines, and his family runs deep.

Yes it is possible because love is an emotion, to love doesn't have anything to do with gender or sexual orientation, love is a human thing and they are both human, love encompasses gender. Most people are confused by this because they always identify and equate love with sexual attraction which are two separate and different things but are complimentary.

That story of wrestles really moves me. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever read so far and I just created this account just to say thank you for sharing this utterly amazing story!

For myself, I think it is absolutely possible that a very close friendship,
especially one that is accelerated from its genesis can quickly become
a form of intense love that blurs the line between the platonic and
the romantic.

The first time I met Rich was at the swimming pool of our condominium
complex. We were both wearing Speedos and a towel around our necks.
Till this day, it is an enigma to me as to why we simultaneously broke
into a huge heart-stopping smile towards one another during the initial seconds our eyes met. As if automatically, we shook hands and introduced ourselves. To both our surprise, we shared the same surname.

Rich was very good looking, not the Tom Cruise racy handsome, nor the
Brad Pitt congruent good looks, but more of a very handsome actor
that would have the looks to be cast as the good guy in a film.
And yes, I noticed that immediately, not a, "oh I want him" feeling, but
like seeing a beautiful sculpture or painting.

He was lean, very defined, pronounced six pack abdominals, and
to my surprise, practically hairless, even on his legs. In short,
we could have passed for twins from the neck down. I sensed with
certainty that we were both very aware of our similarities. Later,
we discovered that our birthdays were 3 days apart, we both
just turned 18 and just finished high school. So, same age, height,
weight, even shoe size.

After some small talk, Rich remarked as to how similar our builds
are and that it would be interesting to wrestle someone, ..."just
like himself." We walked to a secluded grassy area behind the pool
and without any ceremony, our bodies locked up in a bear hug. We pushed
each other around and though we fell to the ground, we never broke that
bear hug, instead, our legs wrapped together into a grapevine and
we rolled around, wrestling to dominate, not really for victory.
It was an unspoken desire that we both wanted to continue the struggle
until neither could or would continue. After a long while, we were both
coated in grass and mud and decided to rinse off in the outdoor shower.
We wrestled each other into the swimming pool and wrestled above
and below the water line, chest to chest, legs intertwined.

I am not sure how long we went at it, but by the time our energies
were spent, the sun had left the sky. We both remarked how equal we were
and how happy that made us. We exchanged phone numbers with the promise to meet after dinner. That evening, we walked for miles...talking, bumping into one another, teasing each other, hug-wrestling as we strolled, grabbing each other arm in arm, our rib cages grinding as we walked.

From that moment on, we met daily. It was uncanny that I had asked my
parents for a year off to do some traveling before college, and so had he.
We agreed to plan our excursions together.

Our daily wrestling sessions resulted in rather sore muscles and so
we gave each other massages, which, contrasted to the grappling, was
very affectionate. Sometimes we would just embrace and massage each
other's backs at the same time, never avoiding touching in areas
that might seem taboo. We both loved to knead one another's behinds
simultaneously. If you have never experienced that, let me just say
that it feels so good especially if you have been sitting all day.

We would meet for breakfast and spend every minute together until
nightfall. Soon, we were spending the night at each other's
homes even though we only lived 2-3 walking minutes apart.

Since we got so used to embracing from wrestling, we would sleep in an
hug. Till this day, I am amazed that we often would hug all night long and
awaken in the embrace, yet feeling refreshed.

We vowed to be brothers forever, to die for each other. We pricked our
fingers with a needle and mingled our blood, then cleaned our wounds
with our mouths, sucking the blood dry. We wrote a vow of brotherhood,
memorized it, and holding each other's testicles, we "testified" to
our undying devotion to each other. That night, we drove to a
hilltop that overlooked the city, and Rich asked me, "Do you think
that there are any other two people in the world like us?" I shook
my head because I truly believed at that time that we were unique.

One day, after a particularly sweaty wrestling session, he came over to
my place and I offered for him to shower first. He wondered why we couldn't
share a shower, and so we did. It was very comfortable, two best friends
washing each other. Without even thinking, I found myself washing
his privates and before I had a chance to worry about it, he reciprocated.
After we dried off, I flicked my towel on him and he attacked me into
a bear hug. It was our first time wrestling naked. From then on,
it just seemed silly and pretentious to wrestle or cuddle or sleep in any clothing so we were pretty much naked with each other most of the time.
It was all very natural.

We both enjoyed snuggling our faces together, we called it, "breathing
each other's life" by sharing our air, inhaling, exhaling the warmth
of one another. During these episodes, we sometimes teased each other
by licking one another's noses and pretending to hate it. Once, our tongues
accidentally touched, and we both remarked, "hey, that was really nice"
and from then on we started to kiss. It wasn't passionate kissing like
a movie kiss, just very affectionate, more like exchanging saliva
like we did with our blood. There was always a lot of "I love you's"
verbalized while we kissed. I don't know why, but we never wondered
if we were gay and even though our groins were scrunched together,
most of the time, we were flaccid. There was no pre-*********, no
intentional frottage, it was just two guys very much in love and
not afraid of intimacy. The only real times we were erect was
when we woke up in the mornings. We liked sleeping in a tight
embrace so every morning was like a sword fight. It was not frottage,
but we would jokingly stab each other groin to groin, and after
a visit to the toilet, everything would be back the way it was.

For men who are comfortable with their sexuality and are not out
to prove something or bigots, possible homosexuality represents
a normal threat to their existence as a man and within a man to man friendship. It's like investing in stocks, there are no guarantees.

Love like this tend to become unstable as it approaches and/or skims homosexual undertones, but I think that happens if one or both men
have an underlying physical agenda. They just aren't enjoying
the intensity of one another, they want more. We were and are
satisfied with what we have.

I have spoken with a lot of other men in close friendships and
most agree that the phenomena occurs suddenly and is often
characterized by the thought, "man, I really like this guy and I'd
like to hang out with him, offer him my gifts, talents, masculinity,
and have him offer me his." If both men have this epiphany at the
same time, then it is the beginning of a true romance which can very
quickly lead to deep committed love.

The only way this can develop is when the newfound friendship
becomes each man's focal point of their lives for some period of time.
When the foundation is built, it is smooth sailing, very comfortable,
and you both become extensions of one another.

We traveled together, ate together, worked out and wrestled, doted on each other. We treated each other with great kindness and compassion. Other
than playful arguments, we never had a fight, no drama, no holding
back feelings. We both emphasized that we didn't want to live without
each other without fear that one might use it to control another. I think
that is a very important aspect two men being in love. And yes, I say
"being in love" because it is much more than the love two best friends
have for one another, it is a deep and profound love that I know I will
never have with any other guy.

Everything was shared; shirts, pants, socks, shoes, money, bank accounts. Till this day, I am amazed that our parents didn't become alarmed. Everything I had of value, I gave to him, and he reciprocated. If we were at a public place
and I had to use the men's room, he came with me, for as he said, "Even a few minutes without you makes me lonely.

On more than one episode, we thought that we were having a heart attack, and we later realized that it was just the intensity of our feelings for each other. Once, I really thought that I might die, but my heart settled down.

We spent six years as roomies in college. It was easy to pass for brothers. We had the same last names, same hair color, eye color, and although we couldn't pass for twins, we looked more like brothers than some genuine siblings. Consequently, there was no scandal regarding our intimacy. When confusions arose about our ages being the same, people just assumed that we were fraternal twins. We never denied it. Soon, we became known as, "the twins."

He has never been with another man either than myself. I also have no inclinations towards other men, nor do I find the desire to be intimate with them. And so, here is the epiphany of it all. One can fall deeply in love
because love is not just gender based, but also person based.
without it being a sexual identity issue? We love people in different
ways, but it is a different kind of love, such a parents, siblings,
spouse, friends. As a man, the magic of being loved by another man
is that it is a practice of pure choice. A parent naturally loves
their child. Siblings develop love by growing up together. Spouses
love through attraction. But two men loving each other and making
a lifetime commitment to share everything they are and have, that is
just pure choice.

Rich and I are now in our 40's. We are both happily married with children.
Our closeness has not abated. Our wives are very supportive of our love
and we never hide our physical intimacy or kisses from them. Some nights
we sleep with our wives, some nights with each other.

And I do want to make something clear, Rich and I have never had sex.
We have loved each other without fear of labels. We have never joked
about having sex with each other or used locker room taunts. Our
intimacy is sacred, almost on a religious level. We thank each other,
almost on a daily basis, for one another's love. And it isn't casual,
but always performed deliberately and slowly, like an solemn ritual.
Even now, we sometimes break down weeping, holding each other,
thanking one another for our love. It's funny, when that happens,
it last for a good hour, difficult to stop.

And though we own a business together and spend all day together,
we still miss each other. That part, I cannot understand, and I
don't have to, because he is always beside me.

Rich is as much a father to my kids as I am to his. He is not "daddy #2" to my kids, nor am I. His children address me as "Daddy" and mine addresses him similarly. They realize that in Rich and me, they are lucky enough to have two fathers.

Our sons are best friends, and they too are inseparable. They share a room(s),
half their stuff is in each other's rooms, and they sleep together just about
every night. We try to ensure that they feel a complete comfort level to love one another. As a matter of fact, when either breaks a rule, their punishment
is a night apart. This has resulted in two very well behaved teens. Rich and
I are profoundly touched that our love will live on to another generation.

As Rich once asked, "Do you think that there are any other two people in the world like us?" Yes, there are. Thanks for listening and allowing us to share. I hope that this helps someone out there.

I think that is probably the most beautiful thing Ive ever read.

I really wish that there were more people out there willing to admit their love like this

As a straight, married man myself...I am so deeply touched by your story, becaue I know that I myself have both experienced an adolescent version of your close, intimate friendship, and because I long for that kind of friendship myself as a 30's something adult. I do think it has become more difficult to have this level of intimacy since labels like 'gay', 'straight' and 'bi' have come into use, or at least into our adult consciousness. I do admit that when I first read the account of your friendship, I did wonder if there was a little fiction mixed in with fact...it is hard for me to imagine that as married adults you sleep with your best friends some night - and that you've never had sex. But then again, sex is a bit of an unhelpful term in itself, since some of your intimate interaction with your friend which you have described could be called 'sex-aul' at the very least, but like you said - that wasn't what either of you were thinking about. I wonder if you could comment any further on that?

Thomy--

Interesting. I too have longed for an intimacy like the one in the story. I managed to have it once a few years ago but it seemed to fade. It was one of the best periods of my life while it lasted.

It gave me goosebumps!

Amazing! Why not write a script and make a movie out of it?

Wow if this story is true, which I think it is, I sense a vastly superior intellect! What kind of qualifications do you guys have? What kind of business are you in? I'm sure whatever it is the profits are several millions a year - or at least will be soon.

Amazing story; I saved this to my computer because it was too beautiful to let slip away. I will read this when things are difficult and I am feeling down. Also I am a writer, so when ever I have difficulty with my creative flow I will use this epic marvel of humanity and love as my muse. Thank you for the privilege of allowing me to experience such a profoundly moving and refreshing chronicle of your love :).

Absolutely heart wrenchingly beautiful. In my wildest dreams could I only imagine this type of love. I hope to find something like it one day.

Truly one of THE BEST and most touching stories I've EVER read.

Growing up I had met a few friends (male) that I felt this way about. Unfortunately nothing like your experience came out of any of them. But I do believe that gay or straight, 2 men can be in love with each other.

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Yes. If that's how you feel then that's how you feel, whether or not you identify as straight, gay or bi. Just fall in love and enjoy the experience.

Well said!!!

You are absolutely correct that two straight males can fall in love. My brother in law and I are deeply in love. Our wives are sisters. Whenever we see each other we always give each other a full passionate body hug. Occasionally we will kiss on the lips. We never end a phone conversation without an exchanged "I love you". It's perfectly normal for two men to feel this way (BTW Our wives fully understand and they are supportive of our feelings for each other).

wouldn't the world be a better place without labels?

instead of "Can Two Straight Guys Fall In Love?"

you would be saying: "can two people fall in love?"

much more simple. after all, the fact that you're male should not matter, your sexual orientation shouldn't matter (shouldn't exist).



it's love between 2 humans.

absolutely! it should be mandatory between best friends

I completely agree two straight guys can fall in love, me an my best friend have fallen deeply in love. We cuddle every chance we get, we even kissed. I love him to death and would do anything for him, I know he would do the same. He is the brother I never had but always wanted. It just sucks not being able to show my love for him everywhere, there are places with people we know (school, in our homes, etc.) where we have to put our love aside and hide it. So I do agree two straight men can fall in love, that's why I love Alex.

To feel that way makes you 'brothers'. Nothing weird about that! Sometimes our friends know us better than we know ourselves. LOL ENJOY the freedom of loving another person. When you feel like that about a girl, you will know it is the real thing!

I like what you said. Can two straight girls be in love? I think to yes. Sometimes I feel so in sync with my best friend I know exactly what shes thinking why shes thinking it and what she will do! I love her more than I have ever loved any boyfriend and our love for each other will always last. There are some people whose relationships defy conventional relationship categories. lol :)