Keeping It Classy

I think there are too many rules about how women should act, think, feel, look, in regards to their sexuality.
I think women start to believe that they should constantly worry about the impression and the image they give others....don't want to be too easy, don't want to look slutty, don't be too fat, don't be too skinny, don't think about sex, be proper, respectable women don't do ____, if you do _____ then men won't respect you, women don't watch ****, women don't like ********, women don't read dirty books or magazines, women don't have one night stands, women always make sex about emotions...and generally, women aren't supposed to talk about sex.

One minute women are made to feel bad about being reserved...called prudes, boring, etc, then the next they are made to feel bad because they are being called easy/slutty.
What's a woman to do?
There's a very fine line between classy and trashy.

Well, I would like to say that I have found several women here on EP that seem to defy many of these "rules" and they don't care. They are strong, smart, sassy, and tell it like it is.
They do what they want, talk about it, and still keep it classy.
I admire these women and love reading their stories because I know it has helped me feel more confident in expressing myself and talking about sex and I think they could be a great source of inspiration for other women:


I am so glad to have befriended all of you on EP, and I love getting to know all of you through messages and reading / sharing stories.
Also, I would like to thank you guys for helping me kind of come out of my sheltered shell and see that it's ok to love sex, talk about it, and there is no shame in it.  :)

ItsJustMe888 ItsJustMe888
31-35, F
19 Responses Jul 11, 2012

i absolutely agree. i find women who are open minded about sex to be very attractive, regardless of their physical appearance. i think it is normal and natural to be curious about all kinds of sexual activity.

thanks for sharing

I like ********

It's good that you've discovered the reality that women are sexual beings and, in fact, are the stronger gender in terms of sensitivity and recovery than are men. Perhaps the time has finally come when women can assume their rightful place as the goddesses they were when the world of human sexuality was honest and realistic.

Mature adults CAN talk about sex in a manner that isn't vulgar or coarse. There certainly is no need to spice a post liberally with the F-word, just to prove a person can talk about sex. I had to block a guy that wanted to friend me, because every-other word in his posts was f-this, f-that or f-ing this or that. That is not how I am, and I certainly don't want that kind of trash floating around on my page, or as comments to my posts. Sex is beautiful, don't trash it with your words.

We CAN keep it classy...

You're one of the most respectable women I've found in Ep.I don't want to be offensive,but I found many females of the western countries are so casual about sex.Even some of their husband may encourage their wives to have sex with other men.How weird!Don't understand the way they thought.

There are no rules if you're wise, tasteful, highly selective, mentally astute. If you're an adult man or woman with a moral code, spiritual values, self-respect, then there's absolutely no need for rules. Break All The Rules! Rules Aren't Cool! Rules Are For Fools!

hey i liked ur story and i can understand wats goin on in ur mind , u r actually right every one has same right to express themselves . u rocks

I love your allstar cast of EP woman. I so agree, they are all classy woman, who are not afraid to speak their sexuality. Let me also say that much of the stigma, ie trashy vs classy is in the eye of the beholder. I have seen very modest women chastised because someone was jealous of the attention she got from men. Some times it is not how you dress or even look, but how you project. Men love strong, confident woman. boys like trashy girls.

I loved this! It certainly is a very fine line...comparable to walking a tightrope when you live in smalltown, USA, lol. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, I agree. I have experience with downplaying my sexuality out of fear of being socially stigmatized as one of those "trashy" girls :)

Being open about your sexuality is healthy. And as for classy vs. trashy or slutty - within the bounds of a loving relationship, NOTHING is off-limits or slutty; if its something both want to explore and enjoy!

Aww thanks!! Finding you was AWESOME too! <br />
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The best any of us can do for us, each other and everybody else is just be REAL and honest about who we are...<br />
Playing fake or marching to somebody else's rules takes the joy right out of life. None of us will be liked or agreed with all the time.... Who cares..If we are true to ourselves and the ones we honestly love we don't need the ones who would say we're wrong anyway!! <br />
Be real, Have FUN and ENJOY life! Best darn advice I ever got and followed to a Tee!! :D

this is a great comment and I agree completely, but unfortunately it's not always that simple. Sometimes others get stigmatized for our actions....I have children I must consider. Any perceptions people have of me automatically are shifted to them as well. Unfair, but that's the way it works here :) If you do something considered socially reflects on your family as a whole.

Aww thanks. I can see your point...I don't have kids but had to deal with my sister and the stigma attached to growing up with a psycho in the family....I do hear and understand what you're saying...

I am so glad to be here and to read trough beautiful comments about self esteem..Its fun to be here and would love to make more friends.


Great story and well said! <br />
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I grew up in a VERY religious household so everything was off limits. You could go straight to hell over a simple kiss. It took a long time to learn that sex is ok and damn good, ******** are fantastic and ok, pda is ok, being feisty is ok. Some of it I learned the hard way but I am much happier for it and still eager to learn.<br />
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Thanks for the mention! You have been pretty awesome yourself! Very supportive, honest and quite the confidant.

yeah, I grew up in private Christian schools and we were taught about those same things too. It sucks that they try to, literally, put the fear of God in young people to where they grow up feelings guilt and shame about those things.

Do men who grew up religious or went to catholic or Christian schools feel the same way I wonder. In the world of Christian Jamaicans, boys can pretty much do what they want. It's only the girls have to be pure in every way.

Double standards exist everywhere, it seems.
As for catholic or Christian boys, I wonder if, for some of them, they might give in by feel extremely guilty afterwards....or maybe during to the point they can't perform properly. It's hugely psychological.

Very true. I am so glad I have been able to move past that. Took forever though.

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Ahh... but then again... I think that there are a lot of people who just enjoy putting others down, and will use whatever's handy to do it, be they or their victim men or women.

That's true too. Some people act out of jealousy, or feel threatened, insecure and they have to try to bring others down. Good point.


You said it!
We are all sexual beings and there shouldn't be judgement or double standards.


The people who make rules about how we should behave sexually are probably the people whom we do not wish to attract. <br />
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People with low sex drives don't want to talk about sex, don't want to give or receive oral sex, don't want sex every day, or even once a week, don't prefer a good shag to a walk in the park, don't make suggestive sexual comments to their partner, don't try different sexual positions and act out their sexual fantasies, don't go topless sunbathing, don't go out without knickers or flash their boobs outside for a saucy photograph. To summarize they don't want to be sexually demonstrative people so try to inhibit anyone who freely rejoices in their own sexuality and that of others. <br />
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You just have to be yourself, do what you want to do and give yourself permission to be you, otherwise you will be lumbered with narrow minded sexless bigots.<br />
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It is inexcusable to label women who give sex freely as tarts and similar men as studs. Sexual equality and complete duality should be a universal right throughout the world.

Oh, and rated up, obviously! ;-)

You need to add your own name to that list!<br />
<br />
You've been a great person to talk to and laugh with, and you're incredibly classy and sexy. The two aren't mutually exclusive.<br />
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This was a great post, and not because my name was in it, but rather because you verbalized so well the contradictions in expectations society at large places on women.

Aw, thank you so much.
I like that women can be strong enough to break through and defy the gender expectations placed on them. It makes me feel empowered...and I imagine other women too.

"There's a very fine line between acceptable and slutty."<br />
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I don't think that that's really the problem, so much as it seems that everyone draws the line in a different place, can't really define it, and acts like it was carved in stone. The great feat is to find the line for yourself, stick to it, and not be floored by the judgements and comments of others.

You are so right.
That was an amazing comment!!
I completely agree.

Thank you!

Well... thank you! :)

Yes, that's a great observation.

Well, thank you, too! :)

I also agree, This site is Great way to start breaking your inner shell :) add me :)

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