Anything They Can Do...I Can Do~I don't write too many posts about sex and this will be one of the few. So, here it goes.
I've always been different from other women when it comes to sex. Perhaps this was because I was rasied around three heterosexual brothers who were much older and very sexually premiscuous. They were quite open and boastful about their sexual adventures with young women. My parents never cared one bit what they said or did. All of their lamenting was looked at with an attitude of "boys will be boys" and so it was. Clearly, I wasn't raised in a religious family. This was long before DNA and when some poor pregnant teenaged girl's mother would call my mother and claim that one of my brothers had gone and gotten her daughter pregnant, my mother always responded "absolutely not, the father is not our son, don't call here again!"
When I became of an age that I was interested in sex, I was treated a bit differently.....the fear of pregnancy and rape seemed to "matter" in my case.
I was unmoved by my parents attempts to keep me chaste. I fully planned to be just as sexually free and easy as any one of my brothers, regardless of what my parents had to say about it. When I was 12 or 13 I secretly got my hands on a copy of "The Sensuous Woman" and I was in heaven! I made that book my pocket companion and I memorized it~ I did not get raped or pregnant, I was savvy compared to my girlfriends. Having lived with my brothers and their carnal ways, I understood the male sexual mindset and sured up my defenses accordingly. No male had anything on this female, I was not about to be one of those poor pregnant girls who got left with a baby to rock before she was in high school. I knew my body and I knew my heart, I knew the differense between sex and love and this made me a sharp cookie for my day and time. The thing was...I fell in love with an older guy. He was sweet and kind and I loved riding around in his new car feeling like a grown woman at age 14. He might have been older but he wasn't very sexually sophisticated, he had been raised in a very strict traditional home, he had never slept with a woman in his life. To make a long story short, I married him at age 16 and we stayed married until age 24. The sex was infrequent and unrewarding, he was shy, withdrawn, and awkward about sex. His sex drive was very low as well. Mostly I walked around on fire with desire, this was just my nature. So, clearly... the marriage of course was doomed from the start.
When I finally left him...like most uneducated women of my time...I left for another man. People don't change their tastes much, and I was no different, I left for another sweet guy (nothing like my wild womanizing brothers was still my biggest priority) The only difference was that this time I was upfront about myself sexually. Over the years I had come to know myself, to understand my needs, so, I told this man, "Look, I am not going to be faithful, I am going to do everything I ever fantasized about and anything else I can think up, and if you can't take it, don't keep me around. I am being honest because I never plan to cheat again, I hate a cheater and right now I hate myself!" The man looked at me with the kindest eyes and said "Fine, that's what you'll do then, I have no problem with that, I love you more than anything in the world, I never want you to change."
It took me 18 months to do what I wanted to do. You name it....if I found it erotic...I did it. I was pretty decent looking and I wasn't stupid. I had a sixth sense about who I could ask to "help" me with a project, and I never got hurt or harmed in any way. These were the days before the AIDS epidemic and I cannot tell you what a sweet time I had. Some of these adult adventures I shared with this man...some I did privately. Sex is so much more than bodies banging....sex is multi faceted, sometimes tender, sometimes funny, sometimes seriously strenuous, sometimes creative and interesting, often amusing and true enough, sometimes not worth the trouble.
All in all, looking back, I have to admit, I think sometime in the mid 80's, I caught up to my brothers in my little sexual revolution. And yes...the man and I...we have made a life together for 30 years...I settled down and after all was said and done...I realized that I had loved the man since I met him when we were 12 years old. He just had to wait for the chip to fall off of my shoulder before I realized that I didn't need anyone but him to keep me completely satisfied in every way.