I Think We All Are

Not just women, but all of us. I was lucky to be born with what I have, but it is not who I am.

People rarely try to get a chance to know me before making a comment about me, how i look, asking me out on a date, whatever.

Tell me you want to sit down, talk to me, and get to know me. Tell me something specific about my personality or views on the world that interest you.
Aether71 Aether71
36-40, M
11 Responses Aug 12, 2010

Ord...in the mob....oh that always makes me laugh. So glad I was eating or drinking anything when I read that...<br />
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People often underestimate me because of my looks. I'm a bit on the short side and don't look anywhere close to my age (not only got carded the other day, but had to have them call the hotline to verify that I wasn't using a fake ID). <br />
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I try to use this to my advantage. You know, knocking someone's socks off because of my really random knowledge about things like cars and firearms, or put on the icy stare. Suddenly I don't seem so gullible.

I am frequently judged on my looks, and not in a favorable way. I'm kinda on the husky side, I wear shorts year round (frankly, that's about the only way I can survive in Texas), I have tattoos, and I've been told I always have a very stern look on my face. People rarely approach me unless they absolutely have to. I think it got worse when I moved from Chicago to Texas because I'm in a relatively small, closed off town here. It took me almost two years to find a steady job because everytime I opened my mouth, I was instantly identified as an outsider. I found out recently that the company did eventually hire me as a favor to Stella had reservations because they were convinced I was in the mob or something. Thank goodness Stella is so good. The owner of the company knew she would be associating with the criminal types :). It also helps that I've started to pick up some of her speech mannerisms, even if it does still grate on my nerves every time I hear the phrase "fixin' to."

This whole notion saddens me, but I know darn well that people do put looks ahead of all else at times. If not MOST of the time. But there are peeps out there who are really interested in what sits under the pretty shin and behind the nice face. I've know people with amazing looks and they are no more than shallow, empty husks once you stop looking and start talking to them. I'm happy to say that I do not think this is the case with Aethor. I'm pretty sure you have as much good stuff on the inside as on the outside! :)

I find this conversation interesting, people have told me that they added me to their circles strictly ba<x>sed on my looks and then got to know me. Similarly in my non-EP life, people have approached me in social situations to sit and speak or flirt with me because of my looks. Or maybe my looks give me a bit more confidence...I'm not sure, but i know that men are judged on their looks just as much as women are.<br />
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Thoughts of Prince's "Sexy ************" come to mind..."This ain't about the body, it's about the mind"

Well put Aether71. Anyone with any depth of character wants to be accepted and loved for who they truly are - not simply sought after for a pretty face. It is nice to know there are still men who understand that.

You seem like a man full of depth and soul. A rare find in any human being. I know that i could talk for hours with you.....

Hi. Nice to meet you. I'd like to sit down...will you join me? Would you like something?<br />
Talking for a bit would be nice if you have the time. I'd like to get to know you a bit if that's all right. <br />
Like I am wondering, why did you ask for us to name songs with "love" in the title? It was an interesting question......

I've thought on this quite a bit. I grew up with a girl who became one of those striking beauties that stop traffic. She ended up being drawn into the world of upscale prostitution and pron, and has had a terrible time with love and relationships. She really never trusts anyone anymore, she has been hurt so often. I know I am not unattractive, as I do get the ones who seek me out after simply seeing me, but I am not going to win many beauty contests. I know who I am, and I'm confident that what sets me apart, and what drives people to pursue me as a lover or friend, is my personality. This is comforting. (I do, btw, have insecurities re: looks and personality - don't we all?)<br />
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I feel for people who are really stunning in the looks department. I have seen - with the friend I spoke of and others - how hard it is for these people to trust what someone is 'after' when they are pursued. It seems common for really good looking people (or really, really, really, really, really good looking people like Zoolander ;) to feel like their personality, etc, is not what others are paying attention to and interested in. It must be a very lonely feeling... as it always is when someone feels 'used' (essentially what I think this boils down to).<br />
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My brother was once pursued by a woman whom he considered the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, and truly kind and fun, to boot. He kept telling me about her actions, asking if I thought she was interested in him. Well, yes! I think she was! But... so sad, really... he said he could not stomach being with her because she is too beautiful, that he would be intimidated by that and all the attention she got from other men.<br />
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Whatever side of the coin, there are always battles. I have been targeted by insecure women in positions of power who sabotaged my employment because I was 'too cute', or 'too thin', and therefore intimidating (I have this on authority). I have applied for jobs where they look me up and down and seem to assess that I am not 'up to their standards' in the looks department (places I know I am definitely qualified for, skill and experience-wise). There was a case in the news last week about a woman who was reputedly fired b/c she was essentially too sexy, and it distracted other employees. I have known many places that ONLY hire really 'attractive' people. Either way, it's discrimination, and it sucks.

I agree. It's not just women alone but everyone else too.<br />
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I think it's pretty rare to have a conversation without it revolving, at least just once, on appearance. <br />
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Looks are only temporary; we could lose them at the drop of a hat. People should realize that it's what's inside that matters.<br />
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That's why it's a nice change to meet others who realize looks aren't everything.

Thank you for your comments, TheHeartOfaWoman. It means a lot to know that there are people like me out there that see past the looks. X

the fact u already have common sense and a strong mind would interest anyone im sure x