Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

Way Too Far To Go Back.

i'm only 19 but I did some very bad things in my life . I hurt too many people including my family , i lost all of my friends .
and i feel like it's too late now to go back & fix this .........
i'm alone in this dimension ...
i feel like i'm very ( old ) and sick of every thins around me ..
i'm waiting for someone to lift me up because right now i'm so down .
MIdOGcX MIdOGcX 18-21, M 10 Responses Jun 26, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

hi Mi,

You are right about one thing. You can't go back, but you can "fix" everything. The first step is to forgive. Forgive yourself and from there you can begin to make things better.

Answer me a question. Where is the past, right now in this very moment? If you we're to put you finger on all of the things that has happened in the past where would you be putting your finger? The answer is on your head. You would be pointing at your head. The past does not exist NOW. It exists in only in your mind. Everything that has ever happened or ever will happen will happen in the NOW. Things don't happen in the future.... They don't happen in the past. Everything happens in the now. So, what are you going to do NOW?

While you can't go back you can't change what has already happened, you have infinite possibilities right NOW. Everything that has ever occurred has brought you to this moment to this place. Learn the lessons of the past so you do not repeat them but do not let the past keep you from experiencing the NOW.

I have written several stories that I believe may point you toward some truth in your life. I can't say for sure because only you can find your truths but I can be a road sign, I can point. You then must decide. I came to EP as a result of a near death experience that I have Wriiten about. It is entitled, "The Day I Died Was The Best Day of My Life". The experienced changed me forever. In the months after the experience I had to make sense of what I had experienced. I had no previous knowledge of any of the things I now know. The books just seemed to come to me one after another. They seemed to confirm what I experienced when I was in that "place". I invite you to read as many or as few of my stories as you feel are right for you. You will without a doubt read what you are supposed to, when you are supposed to.

Do not allow yourself to be tortured by the past or the future for to do so would be to forfeit the NOW. Nothing matters but what you decide to do RIGHT NOW!

Wishing you inner peace, love and happiness (they are already yours... All you have to do is claim them!)

Ken

As stated, you r not alone and all you can really do now is show them who you r now. Show them , your family the most ( the new you) the side of taking the high road and give them a olive branch. Every time you see anyone of them, just be kind and considerate. Have positive conversations with them and enjoy them and they in turn will enjoy you. Good luck!

Well, I'm looking at the other comments, and I think we can agree-- you are NOT alone. I don't know how you could be, even if you wanted to, with 7 billion people on this globe. Sounds to me like you've got a case of survivor guilt there, pal. You live. They don't. No offense, but **** happens. We cannot change our past, and our actions then. What we can do is LEARN from our experiences, recognize when we've stepped in dogshit, and next time we see some-- STEP AROUND IT. Now, I don't know how badly the bridges are burned behind you, but sometimes we perceive them to be when they really aren't, because we are punishing ourselves far more than anyone else is. You can choose to try to bridge those gaps in your relationships, or... there is another way. I've discovered that when one moves to someplace new, where no one knows who you are... you can re-invent yourself to be the person you want to be, without folks around you treating you like nothing has changed. You definitely sound like someone who wants to start fresh... I've done it 7 times in my life (yeah, wandering jew syndrome... blame mom's side of the family for that), and each time has taught me some amazing things about myself, and shown me strengths that I didn't think I had.

Perfect! Go with this all the way, MIDOG! Nice, Gwydion...Well said, indeed!
Good grief...ya survived the teen years!...it really doesn't get any worse than that. Get a skill...find your passion, & put everything ya got into it...That's investment in Self. You can take a skill anywhere your heart flutters to...And there is sooo much to see & be! MAKE your memories, Darlin'.

I keep a saying close: "Life is not about arriving at a grave safely, in a well preserved body...It's about sliding into it sideways, totally worn out, screaming, "Helluva Ride!""

It's true...Good Journey!:)

thank u guys for ur support & lifegamer ..omg, u really touched the spot .............:)

I’ll admit there’s a lot of stuff I don’t know, and there are a lot of people that have stuff to say. But there are a few things I hold, with every fiber of my being, as pure and complete truths, no matter what the circumstances. 1) There is no darkness that can take hold of me forever. 2) I am never alone. 3) My journey will never end. Though it doesn’t feel like it sometimes, I know these truths apply to me always and forever. This world is filled with distraction, fear, and illusion. It is very difficult to be dropped in all the negativity without any memory of true self. Sometimes I feel lost, alone, hopeless, or helpless, or all of them at the same time, but I realize all of that just isn’t true and has nothing to do with who I am. I will overcome and stand in my own truth, embracing it. I remember there is nothing fear, nothing to survive. However, there is so much to learn, experience, and discover about myself and my connections, which are never broken, with others. Now I look forward to every bit of it. <br />
<br />
Typically, I don’t like to tell people who they are, but I have no doubt, whatsoever, that the same truths lie within you.

wee, i shall overcome this darkness and keep moving on my way but i think i need time to heal first ,time to find my inner center .
and yes this truth lies deep within me .thank you for being honest , it was very helpful .

For what its worth dude hang in there, you only get 1 go at life, so own it man. Its easier said then done I know, but don't let it keep you down man, all the best.

thanks man

Been through it as well. Took me a while, but have built new friendships. Reestablished a sense of purpose, and continued doing right according to my beliefs. It was far from easy. So many times felt like giving up. The past relationships I've lost will most likely never be recovered, but in a place now where that's ok. Reached out to those people. They aren't having it. So no going back. Only moving forward =^)

thank you .............:)

My fathers side strongly hates me,they are all friends with my sisters but only me that really they hate much. A lot of problems and mistakes I've done before when i was your age.i turned 29 last May and also the time i delete them and they delete me in their lives.Even my sisters. I'm married now,but until now they don't want to give me the love that I want long ago

you have to keep going everyday. Follow your heart and your passions.I know it can get really hard sometimes.If you need me , let me know if i can help.

It is hard to get up when you've dropped to the bottom. I've been there. Luckily some friends have been around to help lift my spirits during my 12 years in prison. You just have to realize once your down, you can't go down any further and can only go up. So, reach up and press the button for the floor of your choice.

thank you sir .

every thing .