What He Really Wanted

All those things he said made me believe he wanted me. He wanted to be in a relationship with me, to love me, to be "the one", or so I thought. Turns out he only wanted what most men I've met want: Sex.

Even after I had been hurt in the past, nearly raped by one ex and raped by another, I still make the same mistakes. My vision is clouded by my desire to be loved and so even though the signs might be labelled "hell", I'll blindly go on, convinced it's paradise. He knew about my past, my trust and abandonment issues, my heartbreaks, my depression, sexual assault, everything. He knew, and he still used me.

I could have seen it coming for miles, the being seduced and used and thrown to the side, it was predictable as anything, so after the fact it didn't hurt so much. What really hurt was thinking that he wanted me and finding out I was wrong.

So now he's screwing my ex-best friend, that's fine. It would kill me to know he left me for her because he was in love with her. And she may think that's why he left me. But I know better. He doesn't love her and he never loved me. He doesn't love anyone except himself and he only wants sex. I didn't see it then, but I see it now.

I thought he wanted me, and I thought I wanted him.
He never wanted me, and I don't want him.
Now, she thinks he really wants her, but she'll find out.
grobiegirl12 grobiegirl12
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 15, 2013

What are the ages of these guys, if they your age then there the problem, older guy could be the answer, I remember a woman told me "young men please themselves, older men pleases her", her husband is 20 year older, she very happy with him, she was in her early 30s. Hope this help.