ive never really got to know my cousin, he lived in a different city. For the holiday of Passover he came here to my house. We got to know each other and went out together a lot. He was very attractive but, had his problems.... i knew it was a bad idea to get close. We sat up late at night talking about everything, he shared very personal things with me and i listend, i felt very bad for him which brought me closer to him.... he did a lot for me. Got me whatever i needed, like running down to the basement for potatoes or going to the store with me at night and carrying in the packages. He was great but, not for me. I as an emotional, heart type of person let myself grow to like him toooo much and i got attached. When he left i cried, ofcourse he didnt know that. Thats when i thought i was in love with him. I called him once a week and we talked for hours, one night he talked me to sleep. I was so excited to hear his voice on the other end. My family, and friends told me it was a bad idea and i should stop, i couldnt though i was in love, which turns out to just have been a crush. Someone [ i forgot who] told me i would forget him and wonder how i even liked him at all in a few months and they were right.... we stoped our conversations and that was it a few weeks later i caught myself thinking" what was i doing? how could i feel anything for him? he is so......how did i even like him at all?" at that point i realized i was never in love with my cousin thank G-D i just had stuff in common and didnt have a guy in my life at the time....... well thats long past and i am still not in love with anybody ....... YET!!!!!!!!!!
Written on August 3rd, 2008