I Felt You Near Me Today

I thought of you today for the first time in a long time. Your face, your body, the way you moved came into my mind and the memory lingered all afternoon.
I could feel your presence near me and I'm sure you were there.
I remember the overwhelming shock and hurt that came over me and the throbbing pain that lasted for so long when they told me you were gone. From that day forward, there was a tear in my heart that will never mend. I so wanted to have held your hand in mine and kissed you and told you what I never could say to you before, how much I loved you. But that was not to be and so all I have are memories.
I'll always remember you just as I saw you last, young, strong and, exciting, with your life stretching before you. A life that I thought would be a long one but that too was not to be.
You were my first love, my unrequited love. You were the boy my family didn't allow me to be with and although our lips never touched, just the mere closeness of you caused my heart to beat faster and my breath to stop when I saw you pass.
There have been other loves since you. Other young, strong men whose lips I have kissed but none caused a fire to burn within me as you did and I don't believe any ever will. Years have passed and I've wondered from time to time, "what if?" but that's all it will ever be, wondering.
Now, as I sit and think of you, I wonder if my thoughts brought you near to me or if you came near and I sensed your presence. Perhaps one day we shall meet again and I'll hold your hand and kiss your lips and feel your heart beating next to mine and you'll answer my wonderings.
wheretheskymeetsthesea wheretheskymeetsthesea
56-60, F
5 Responses Jul 28, 2012

I always thought you were pretty, but I messed it all up. I was playing a game. I did not feel comfortable letting you know because if you knew I might lose you. Thank you for letting me know ;)

I agree with you on both points. That young love that fills you with such intensity is something that we never forget. We may have other loves but that early love stays in our heart.

I also feel that a strong love between two people doesn't really end because one of them is gone. There is an emotional bond that you feel and there have been times when I felt them near me and felt the love that we shared between us actually envelope me.

Believe that some of the most intense loves of our lives were often times the first or early ones. And we can carry them for a life time. Also believe that you can sense the presence of departed love ones.

Thank you. I believe that when someone comes into your heart and mind so strongly, they are with you for that time, even though you cannot actually see or hear them, they can make their presence felt.

A beautifully told, yet sad story that had tears flowing. I believe that the "what ifs" hold the greatest pain. I'm sure that one day you will meet again. Cherish the happy memories you have. Hugs.