"Being Scared"

   Finally being a teenager is making me go through many phases. All of which went away quickly like drama at school, a boy i like, stuff with friends etc. but there is one thing that has been bothering me lately. I have been getting really scared alote. worried too. when my mom went away on her cruse i coulnt stay home alone so my mom told another lady she knows to watch after me while she is away. she would only be gone a week so i thought i could manage but i didnt. i found myself worring about all kinds of things like what if the boat she was on sank or crashed? my mind and stomach felt bad and everytime i would think of her i would feel horrible. then i got a call of someone asking for my mom...it was my teacher and he was trying to get a hold of all the parents that didnt sighn the report cards(which i forgot to get) so after the call i started to worry. what if someone found out i was alone at home? thats when i remebered i had a math test on monday!!! thats when i realised for sure there was somthing wrong with me. i never get scared over things like that! but i ended up spending the whole night on youtube looking up math and how to do fractions. i didnt get a wink of sleep. my appitite went away and i didnt feel like eating at all. all my friends have 80% and up in the math classes grades but in math i have a 60%. i forget about homework because i miss my mom so much even though i call her every night. my teachers are really mean to me. they think that i dont care in there class. THEY DONT KNOW WHAT THE HECK IM GOING THROUGH! i try my hardest in class but when i get home i remember about my mom. the homework slips my mind and the next day when my teacher askes for homework i feel like crying because i dont have it and all my friends(who turned in all there homework,like always)stare at me strangely. There are alote of boys who constantly ask me out and everyday(even though i said no to all of them)so many people even people i dont know come up to me and ask in a mean way if im going out with every boy! then some people think im "tossing it around" even though i said NO to all of them. my worring problems get worst. i have been noticing by doing the things i love to do help me be a little bit ,more care free. this might sound weird but i LOVE to draw anime so that kind of relieves the tension. it distracts me from the things i cant do,towards showing myself what i CAN do. i am also setting myself a goal: I am beautiful from the inside and out and i can acomplish anything! i will bring my grade up to a 90% in math, i will draw anime whenever i get the time, I WILL STOP WORRING ABOUT EVERY LITTLE THING SO I CAN LOOK FORWARD TO ALL THE GREAT, EXITING THINGS FACING ME!!!!!!! being worried and scared will soon be dust in the wind that drifted from me. Im ready world! give me your best shot!!!

lifesurvivor13 lifesurvivor13
Feb 23, 2009