I have been "in the closet" for many years and through EP and therapists, I have finally gathered the courage and knowledge to face what I am. This has given me the courage to tell my family, children and siblings.

While I sometimes feel that my life has been a lie, also I think we have to consider outside influences. I was brought up in era when people were ignorant or feared those of us who were different. People that were, became social outcasts and their families ostracized.. (Oh there's the mother/father/brother/sister of that queer).

The unconditional acceptance by my family, especially my children, has helped me a lot. I move forward now, in the knowledge that those who really matter, support me. So many of us have lost much seeking happiness and fulfillment and to be our true selves,

Now is the time to start telling friends.
Becnme Becnme
56-60, F
8 Responses Nov 13, 2010

Thank you for your comments Fullcircle.<br />
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I have always had a liking of pretty things that most women find attractive too. I too have had close friends being other girls and have always found that I fit easily into a group of women just chatting. Although I can't share some of the experiences that have been talked about, they all were amazed that I could chat so easily with them and share some of my personal experiences without embarrassment. I join in the discussions and find that we all are on the same "wave length", something that didn't go unnoticed.<br />
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i consider my journey over as I am finally comfortable with what and who I am. Now it's just a work in progress to present "me" to the world as how I would wish to look - let the woman inside have free reign.<br />
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I am happy that you too can express yourself, although it has to be "in the closet" for the time being. My children are young adults too(early 20s) and have been most accepting of me being what I am. I am just starting hormone treatment now so I guess I have started another journey, although I consider this a part of the "work in progress".<br />
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I wish you the best and hope one day that you may have the freedom to come "out of the closet" with your family. I also consider you lucky in that your wife accepts that as a part of who you are.

This is a truly wonderful outcome for you Becnme, and I am really happy for you. I would love to be set free, but not there yet. I like your "work in progress"; I refer to "my journey", knowing that it may have no final "arrival".<br />
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I'm in the same age bracket as you, and whilst I didn't feel especially girly when little, I've never been very typically ladish either. My best friends have usually been girls, my best friend now is a woman. In some ways I wish I could share with her, but she has enough of her own love/life problems right now. But looking back, I think what a lot of potentially fulfilled life wasted for fear and prejudice.<br />
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I hate the hiding (being discreet), and my wife tucks my skirts and blouses deeper into the wardrobe/closet lest the (young adult) children should see and wonder. But at least my wife now realises it's always been part of me and always repressed, not just some new tangent!<br />
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My best wishes, Becme X

Thanks FL. All the best of the festive season to you and all my friends

Too true Dean..Coming to terms with the truth was probably the hardest thing.<br />
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And Natalae, I'm no masterpiece. I am happy that those who matter most support me in something I really no longer have any control over....the bubble has burst and Bec is out there for all to see. She has plans afoot so stay tuned.

I was fortunate in that the neighbourhood kids were all girls, so I didn't get laughed at that much, especially when they dressed me up. Later on I was able to play with my sister's dolls, but my mother was the anti cross gender police. No longer having a partner means that I can concentrate on me, however the continual criticism if I did anything feminine still sticks. I am a work in progress. Thanks...Bec

I just read your story and join the happy crowd.We are about 10 plus in age difference and when I was growing up you basically kept your mouth shut and don't even breathe girl if your are a little boy or you will get the **** slapped out of you.I had to throw my doll away because I was being laughed at by all the local neighborhood kids except for my neighbor girlfriend and I still live with that stigma.The only one that knows a little is the wife I have and it's either I stay as a I am or leave the nest while in transition which unknowingly have been for years so I continue to work everyday on my personal project and check in with me when you wish...Thanks Eryn....

Thank you for your support. Hugs x

I am so very proud of you:) May your journey be supported by all who love you and may it bring all the happiness you deserve.