Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

Torn

I told my mom I'm a transguy a while ago and it didn't go as well as I'd hoped. She was furious with me for about a week and told me that I might as well be dead if I transition. She is now in the deepest denial I have ever seen her in.

Just today we were talking about how some people at work have referred to me as "that nice young man" to my Grandma. When my mom brought it up she acted as though I had never said a word to her about being transgendered. It really irks me when she says things like "Are you afraid that you aren't as feminine as other girls?" I really want to move out so I can start my physical transition but worry I'll lose my entire family. I'm not sure what to do.

loserski loserski 18-21, M 6 Responses Jul 26, 2008

Your Response

Cancel

I haven't spoken to my "family" in over 25 years and in the long run I'm a better person for holding onto my guns and saying I'm transgender and no one can change that. It's very hard to be true to yourself but worth every moment.

wow guys, i'm in the same boat, might share my story here in this experience as well. even now at age 33 my mother is having a hard time with this.

This is exactly my fear. I'm am transitioning and live as a male outside of my home, but my family doesn't know. I'm on T so they must know they're just in denial. I don't want to come out and say it because I'm afraid of losing the last people I have left. How have things turned out for you?

I totally understand what you are going through. I have no problem people mistaking me for a male. My parents totally dont accept anything but the norm, they think how I am feeling is just a phase. I also can't wait to move out to start the phyiscal transitioning. Infact, I'm too afraid to even dress like a guy or cut my hair that short. I dress more or less like a guy though, and my hair is mostly short. But I'm still not as comfortable with how I dress or my hair as I'd like to be. But I am working on it. I can't exactly have my parents start buying me guys clothing rather than girls, so I may have to buy them myself. But then what of laundry? Its all too confusing.

This is a situation where those who "love you" are shown up in their true colours; as, if they turn away from you when you are following your own truth, they don't really love you; they only have a "perfect picture" idea of you in their minds, and when you don't coincide with that in real life, they are more interested in "what it does to their picture of you" than the real you.<br />
<br />
If I were in your position (knowing about life what I do now), I would BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.... but as autimom says, you risk "losing the people you love" if you do that. Then its a matter of choosing your priority - to be true to / self-honest about what you really want, or to conform and fit in with your family and associates and sacrifice what you really want for peace / "love"...<br />
<br />
There are reasons why you feel yourself "in the wrong gender of body" and want to change; If you want to know more, I can give you more information. Its not something that one can "opt out of" - its set up at the start of one's life.

You run the risk of losing the people you love. So many people are close minded and will not be able to accept you. You have to be true to yourself. You deserve to be happy and live as the "real you" no matter what.