Reality, Thought And Mental Reboot

This is a bit of an odd one...as indicated by the fact that I couldn't decide what category to put it in. A little while ago I had a kind of mini breakdown due to various different factors..it wasn't pleasant (I doubt these things ever are) and affected me physically, emotionally and psychologically. I won't go into the details of the breakdown itself here - it's not important. What is interesting (at least to me) is the after I felt myself beginning to recover, I felt, almost literally, as if my brain had completely rebooted itself. Actually, more than that....it was like I'd previously been running windows, and someone had formatted my mind, repartitioned it and installed Linux....I spent a long time doing a lot of thinking...actually, that hasn't stopped, but I'm doing other stuff too now, and came to several conclusions or theories about all sorts of things, including the nature of reality, mind, information, my own future and place in existence...all sorts of stuff. it has left me A) Very inspired - I keep having ideas, to the extent that I've filled 3 A4 notebooks in three weeks just trying to keep track of them... and B) Kind of....excited....I do feel a bit like Alice falling down that rabbit hole. The world, universe and reality itself is suddenly a lot more interesting and full of potential, and I begun to try to take the best of my ideas and try to formalise them into some kind of useful, or at least, readable, format. I've also begun a very broad project which I've given the working title of Project Morningstar...don't ask me exactly what this involves yet, 'cos I don't know, but it's got something to do with making the world a better place for me and everyone, I think. I realise this probably sounds like a slightly insane ramble, and maybe it is - I know I did fritz out some bits of my brain during the lead up to my breakdown 'cos my memory was shot to bits for a while (it's improving slowly), and for three days my eyes were physically crossed - I couldn't read unless I shut one eye. So maybe I am a bit mad....but I'd far rather live in an exciting, interesting delusional world than a boring sane one.. :)

vulpageist vulpageist
31-35, M
Feb 27, 2010