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Big-Time

i sometimes think i'm the only one who does this, so i was pretty psyched when i found this group and saw that i am not alone. if i'm in an emotional mood (or sometimes even when i'm in a good mood), i'll get this urge to listen to one of my sad songs, something that just makes my throat close and my eyes tear up. i know i shouldn't, because it's only going to make me sad and sniffly for the rest of the day. sometimes i'm strong, but others i give in and listen a few times. i pay for it by spending the rest of the day sad, or lonely, or pitying myself. yeah, nothing can put me in a mood quite like a good sad song. *sniffle*

runnagirrl runnagirrl 22-25, F 6 Responses May 1, 2008

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I have a 40 song playlist simply titled "Unhappy Music", every single song on it reminds me of something painful; but there is a relief that comes from the pain. I used to be a cutter for the longest time, and if I had to compare this "music thing" to something, it would be cutting. I know it's wrong and destructive, but it takes the things that are killing me inside and bleeds them out ( If not slowly and painfully ). THE PAIN WAS ALWAYS THERE, like a damaged nerve that just needed tapping. The music didn't inflict the pain, it only aroused it from its sleep ( It found that nerve ). Evanescence, especially "My Immortal" ( With Amy Lee's haunting voice and painful lyrics ) hits me hard. Flyleaf's acoustic songs do the same thing ( "All around me" acoustic version breaks me ). The songs are memories, regrets, and losses; and exploring them... RELIVING THEM... Yields pain.

Sometimes even when I'm happy I want to listen to sad songs...maybe I secretly don't want to be happy. Sometimes when life is great I'm and everything seems to be going well, my personal life, work and relationships, deep down I'm still not happy. I've even asked myself why I can't be truly happy. I've just accepted that I'll never ever be truly happy...

i love evanescence too. i'm one of those people who gets emotional over songs that most other people don't even find sad at all. sometimes for no apparent reason i'll hear something and the lyrics will make my eyes well up!

yeah i understand...i most times listen to evanescence..

omg i know! listening to these songs seems like such a good idea before we do it, but then once we do we always regret it, but then of course they're stuck in our heads for the rest of the day!

I know exactly how you feel. In fact I will burn a cd that will have songs that make me think of a certain period in my life or a certain person that makes me sad and make myself listen to the darn thing on my way into work. Then I am in a bad mood! Dont do this all the time but certainly have done it enough.