The Best Advice I Can Give...

I have read a lot of stories from new submissives  seeking advice and guidance in being submissive.  I think the most important advice I can give is to know yourself and what you are able to deal with in life as a person.  I know it sounds basic and pretty lame, but if you want to get the best and most out of your experiences as a submissive and not wind up with emotional and even possible physical scars, your journey starts with knowing yourself and knowing how you deal with life on a truly personal level.
The dominant/submissive lifestyle gets a lot, I believe, undeserved criticism due to the fact that people make a huge leap without looking jump into the lifestyle. They do not know themselves and therefore they do not truly know what they are looking for in a Dominant partner.  They act impulsively on fantasies of what they think they might want, and just partner up with anyone who claims to be Dominant or a Master.  As a submissive you must be able to both communicate your needs and  inquire about the services that your potential Master is seeking from a sub. Not knowing yourself or your needs well enough to communicate your desires and boundaries puts you at serious risk of emotional and physical injury.  Just as there is misguided submissives, there are also reckless and negligent Dominants, and for whatever reason they find each other like magnets in this lifestyle and damage one another  and misrepresent all that is beautiful about this lifestyle.
It may come cross  as I am preaching against your choice of being submissive and I am most assuredly not. I love this lifestyle and all the strengths that it has brought out in my character, but I would be lying if I painted a blissful picture of what true submissiveness is. It can be euphorically wonderful and devastatingly dark at times.  It is during the darkest times, you will have to know who you are and how and what you can do to take care of yourself. It is these times that will strengthen you and reward you as a submissive.  Submissive isn’t helpless, submissive is being strong in one’s own self  to relinquish  all control and submit to the will of another. Behind every prevailing Master is an even stronger submissive.  I wish you the best of luck on your journey.  With love, t.

kuriousgyrl kuriousgyrl
36-40, F
3 Responses Feb 11, 2010

Great post. Good communications are so critical and absolute honesty. If there are gaps in either of these areas the relationship can suffer or end. This can be devistating if it is a husband and wife team trying to enter this life style (like me and my wife). We write fanatsies to each other sharing what we think would be exciting to try or describing the role playing we want to experience. This has helped me zero in on what things she wants to explore.

An excellent post which is in total agreement with my views as a Master. I know that to have a happy slave/sub I must help her understand herself, her needs and what drives her to submission. Only with that knowledge and her willing consent can I effectively train her to be an excellent and happy sub/slave. <br />
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As you say, far too many jump into this lifestyle without a full understanding of the many avenues it can take and allow themselves to fall under the control of a Master who is either uninformed as to his role or who just thinks that his pleasure is what controls without ever considering the sub/slave's needs or her happiness.

Good post, dominate not bully, Know each other! it's a lifestyle for intelligent mature people.