The Hardest Thing I Have Ever Had To DoYesterday I had to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I have a 15 year old adopted daughter who has the mind of probably a 9 year old. Her father is my brother in law. Her mother's mom (grandmother) worked with me. So when she was born it was a month early due to her mother having a seizure. After her birth her mother refused to feed her and the state stepped in and took her into their custody. Her grandparents wanted her but the mother made accusations against her father (grandfather) so they were ruled out as a possiblity to adopt her. She was placed with friends of the DCFS director and they were told they would be allowed to adopt her. They never even considered any other family members. This little girl weighed 4 lbs 4 ozs when she was born. She had a hole in her heart and a heart murmur and a double urinary tract. She was later diagnosed with failure to thrive and learning disabilities. I was approached by her grandmother at work and she told me what was going on. I went home that night and told my hubby I wanted to see if we could adopt her. So when it came time for the next court hearing hubby and I were there. Since he is actually the blood relative he asked the judge why he couldn't be considered for having her placed with us. He almost went to jail for contempt of court but the judge finally ordered a back ground check on us. All that showed up was on him from when he would beat me. So after 8 months of fights and the other foster parents finally conceeding she was placed with us.
She was 8 months old and weighed 8 lbs. She couldn't sit up because the people who had her were veterinarians and they kept her in a back room all day in a bouncy seat. They were using her to replace the daughter they had lost to cancer.
Anyway after the adoption even though the state said they weren't allowed to see her, we let her real grandparents visit with her and eventually let her spend some time with them at their home.
Yesterday I found out from the newspaper her grandmother had passed away on Sunday. No one called to let us know and that really did hurt. I had to go home last night and tell her. She looked at me and said no, no she didn't die. I had to show her the picture out of the paper. Her face was awful, I could just see the heartbreak in her face. I stood in the middle of the kitchen and held her until she managed to stop crying. I felt so bad for her because she hasn't seen her in almost a year and she has been begging to go stay a weekend with her. I explained to her at that time that her grandmother was having some health issues and when she got feeling better she would call and she could go spend some time with them. That never happened. I wish they had called to let us know she was that bad so she could have seen her one last time before she passed away. I hope I never have to go through that again. It broke my heart to see her like that.
teri58 51-55, F 4 Responses 3 Jun 27, 2012