The Only One To Protect You Is You!

Online Dating - Oh my!

Okay, so I had to explore this form of social media
for myself recently...though I've been on the
internet for over 20 years...eek! I won't send out
my bragging rights, but, let's just say

You think it's harmless?
You think you have anonymity?
You think you'll find the xyz of your dreams?
You just want to pass some time?

Whatever your reason, or non-reason, please
if anything be SMART and do a few simple
things to PROTECT yourself and your loved

1. Set up a free gmail account that is only used
for dating sites. Use a fictitious name - one
that isn't even remotely close to your real name.
(I can find you out on the net with very little info.)

2. Every exploiting fraud I met in these six weeks
was from Nigera. Maybe just my dumb luck...
but they all use the same tactics. "Widowed",
too good to be true IM's to you, and photos
that look like stock photography or pro. photography.
Of course, they don't tell you they're from Nigera,
but a simple IP trace on their first or second email
will tell you this.

Remember - predators are very good at what they do.

I never let it get too far with the back and forth
to where they are asking for my money, but as soon
as I expose them for the frauds they are they run
for the hills...

3. Don't post photos of yourself that look well - exactly
like you or your children, especially don't post your
children's faces....please please please.
Use a photo tool to make a black and white or sepia tone
image of yourself.

I can't tell you how strange it feels
to drive by someone you browsed past on an online
dating site in the real world and have them "see" you
driving by them.

4. Keep your logic and sanity about you at all times.
These predators and frauds know exactly what to say
to get you to give them information. Don't let down
your guard for sake of loneliness or love. Don't give
them your phone number, don't give them your address,
don't give them anything...but, if you must, give them
that fictitious gmail account I mentioned earlier.
If you absolutely must text or phone them:
use google voice phone number.
(google keywords - "google voice")

I want to keep this short so I'm going to move to the
fun stuff...the tools you can use to find out about
"mr or miss right".


Find their photos on other online sites:
Use this tool to find their other online profiles (if they
are using the same image, you'll get lots of hits).

Trace their IP on the email header information:
or google reverse IP lookup - geo locate IP

If you can get them to give you their email address
do it! Then, when they send you a few emails
use the settings in your email box to "show full" or "show original"
or "show full text"...near the bottom of the header information on
the email you will see an IP address from the sender: received from:
an IP is a number that looks like
four sets of numbers with periods in between.
This is the number you will want to IP trace.
If they say they are from Kansas and the IP traces to Alaska
and they didn't say they are out of town...chances are they are
a liar.

Got their username? Their phone? Their real name? Their email?
use freely:

or if it's somebody you really think is someone "real"
and you want to be sure they aren't fooling you
it's a cheap service to get the hidden info.

I know I sound like a broken record, but really
who's fooling who out there?
Don't be a sap and end up in a bad situation.
Read the Internet safety adviser on the dating
web site your on for more safe online dating

And when you run into a fraud or a fool...
don't just give in that you know more...
See how far you can collect info on them
you might be able to report them in the end
if they are really sick and save someone else
or their children from the trouble!

Like a good game of chess...don't let the cat
out of the bag too's extremely
gratifying when you send them off the gang plank
and get perhaps a little of your piece of mind back
in return.

"Trust is something that is earned!"
But, it's okay to give reality a check!

46-50, F
3 Responses Apr 15, 2012

This is so necessary and true!! I got a sexual predator to admit that he uses online dating sites exclusively to find new victims. He had spreadsheet of women and how he was working them, this kept the stories straight. For each one he would represent himself as a single guy looking for love and marriage, a family guy, Christian, etc. He had been doing this for years and is still doing it. I reported him to the dating website with a full story including his criminal record but they did not remove him. He is still there.

He sounds like someone I met. Where did this happen? California by any chance?

excellent advise from a savvy user!

Sounds like really good advice.