The Dating Chronicles

It’s like a little party, the online experience. I like to think of it as a congenial get-together, but of course way too many have crashed it—it’s not the intimate affair I was hoping to attend, but the reality is there are a lot of us, so it is what it is.
I quickly survey the room. The atmosphere is actually quite welcoming. I am surprised. I’m not feeling that feeding-frenzy vibe that has sent me scurrying for the sidelines in the past. Something is different this time. They seem nicer, calmer, more gentlemanly, dare I say it, more debonair. I am relieved.
They seem sincere, polite and one of them even told me that he liked that I came across as very “genuine.”  Now that’s a compliment. And that’s when I realized how long it has been since someone complimented me, not only on my appearance but on me—someone was trying to see me, trying to figure out who I was. There is no greater gift, I’ve discovered, than when someone says “tell me about you,” and really listens. And this time when I said, “Now, it is your turn. Tell me about you” he seemed pleased as well.  Let’s face it, by the time you are closing in on 50 there is a fair amount to tell usually, and there is always the fear that your listener will get bored, drift off, or worse yet, get irrevocably frightened, and run for the door (or the next profile.)
But when you make a connection the words come easily, and the sharing is less strenuous than it might otherwise be, the laughter gets generated, and the time flies. Then you know you have hit upon something  good. Maybe I will leave this party with a date. Maybe I will linger and mingle. For someone who has spent as much time alone as I have, it hardly matters.
I’ve figured out what is different, by the way; it’s not them, it’s me. I have opened my heart and I have opened my mind, and that has made all the difference.
Quintesse Quintesse
51-55, F
9 Responses May 1, 2012

Totally agree. You have to be open to have any success. And also be able to read the other. Are they truly what they seem, etc. Excellent story.

I am done with this I'm afraid. It is the opposite of Ep for example. You get judged on your looks first, and then who you are. It is not a healthy way to meet someone if you ask me. I dated for a while but did not enjoy it much. Still, attitude is everything for those who choose to go this route. But mostly it was nerve wracking I found.

I don't think I could do it!

to search the right man or woman is always difficult so try to search may he is around u i am lonely and also doing it male forty

It is tricky out there. It doesn't seem like meeting someone, connecting should be so hard, but it is... I wish you well

I won't do it--I talk big, but I won't do it. My heart resides elsewhere, unfortunately. It's not pleasant, but I'm coping. I will say one thing though, for the record. There sure a lot of nice guys out there.

You are fabulous, Q. And I am glad that this went well for you. May it progress to 3D dating and many kisses.

I'd like to think I've matured a bit having come out of my divorce a novice, but it is still scary. There is some satisfaction in making a connection with someone, even if it never amounts to anything, simply because it allows you to overcome your loneliness for a while. That is huge, for me anyway. <br />
Thanks you guys for the virtual pats on the back. It helps.


Good for you! ( I think it seems quite scary - online dating! So a little in awe! Very brave of you and very positive vibe). :)

I think the big difference, as we age, is that we are no longer crestfallen when the connection isn't there. We recognize that the connection will be somewhere if not here.<br />
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We have . . . dare I say it . . . matured.

I am proud of me too. Thanks, you.