Online Dating "it's A Woman's World"

Borrowing the words from the James Brown song "It's a Man's Man's Man's World", I say that online dating is a "woman's world". I say that because the females (even unattractive ones) get a lot of attention on dating sites.

I spent much wasted time on Adult Friend Finder and Plenty of Fish with low success.
I think the thing that irked or disheartened me was getting no response from many women.
After taking maybe 5-10 minutes out of my life to type this person a message, they could at least reply with something. Just saying "no thanks" would be fine. I spend my time meeting women in the real world. I have better success there.
Laddiboy Laddiboy
36-40, M
2 Responses Sep 7, 2012

I was in the same boat as you - wondering why I didn't get much response from women online. It took me awhile but I started reading the profiles of the women a little more carefully and realize where I was going wrong. <br />
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First, get a good picture of yourself. Web cam and cell phone photos won't cut it. Remember their decision to even read your profile is usually made as soon as they see your picture. I'm not saying go out and get professional shots done, just get a friend or relative that has a decent camera to take pictures of you. In those pictures DO NOT mug or pose for the camera. The shots should appear natural, as if you are interacting with something off screen or with a pet (women like men who are good with animals) in the shot. DO look groomed and wear decent clothes (nice jeans and polo at the very least).<br />
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Second, proof read your profile. Here is where good spelling and grammar count. Your thoughts should flow smoothly from one thought to another. If you can express yourself easily to a computer - how awkward will you be when you meet her? She WILL take this into account.<br />
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Third, reconsider your profile's content. Saying things like "need to fill a void" make you come off as desperate. Women want a man who is confident. Also avoid talking about how crappy your last mate was or how she left you for no reason. It is none of her business, she probably doesn't care, and it makes you look like you have drama/baggage. Just talk about who you are (job, time with friends/family, hobbies) and future goals for your life (outside of having a relationship). Throwing some humor in the mix certainly doesn't hurt.<br />
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Fourth, drop any bad habits you may have. For me, it was weight. I was obese and knew it. So I had to choose between being alone, being with another obese person or dropping the weight. Good motivation don't you think? In any case, you only stand to gain from it as you will feel better about yourself and be able to live a better life.<br />
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Last, don't be too narrow in your search criteria. If all you look for are girls in their mid 20s who have red hair and can play the banjo, you're not going to get very far. Open up the search settings and look at women from 5 years younger to 6 years older. Be proactive in your search. Send a message to any woman who remotely looks like she might be fun to meet up for a cup of coffee or casual meal. DO NOT pressure them for a date. Many of the serious ladies like to exchange a few emails first then, if all goes well, chat on the phone a few times. If everything seems to be going ok, then suggest a casual meet up.<br />
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Like DizzyGirl suggested, there are a lot of guys on there that just want a quick hook up. The ladies on these sites get hit up everyday by those creeps and they can be very smooth talkers. Give them a chance to separate the gentlemen (you) from the creeps.<br />
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This isn't advice that will fit or work with every woman but I have found I get much better results following these guidelines. Best of luck!


Women get a lot of attention because men want sex. A lot of people (men and women) are online for a quick hookup. I am with a wonderful man that I met through pof. Heis everything I have wanted. Just hang in there. The right lady will find you eventually.

Yes, like I said "Online dating, it's a woman's world baby" :-)
Males and females have different agenda's/perspective's when it comes to dating. It's in our DNA. The online dating environment works better for females.
Guys are always looking for sex. But, I think there is a large portion of males on dating sites that want sex and a relationship, not just a quick hook-up.
It's great that you found what you want. Yes, I will keep on, keeping on.
Thanks for the response. :-)

I have been hurt plenty by people online that deceive and just say what you want to hear. I was younger then. I have had long term relationships with two men I met online. My current relationship is a forever one. People always say when you know, you know. Well being young, you think you "know" when in reality you're just young and naive. I am wise beyond my years and this time I just know. I also ran into the problem of indecisive men online and I've heard women do that a LOT online. Persevere!!!

Ok. Thanks.