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It's A Terrible Place To Be...

I recently tried the online dating scene as it had been suggested to me by a FEMALE friend of mine. (That was my first mistake). So I thought I'd give it a go and see where it leads. Needless to say I wasn't all too impressed. I think dating sites can be detrimental to one's ego and psyche in general. If you're a woman it can inflate your ego to the point where you lose respect for people's feelings and the impact you have on others. If you're a man it can seriously damage your self esteem, leaving you feeling disillusioned, bitter and jaded. You only have to go on YouTube to see how people feel about the online dating world. It really is a harsh place to advertise yourself in.

Anyway. After altering my profile, and trying everything I could to make myself seem more appealing without lying, I decided to give up on the whole thing as it was simply doing my head in and to be quite honest, it was making me become borderline depressed. Here's what I ended up leaving on my profile instead.

Excerpt from profile:



Here goes my rant.

Firstly let me just say this. Having a half naked picture of myself up does not mean that I am a man *****, attention seeker and or insecure about my personality in any way, shape or form. This would be the equivalent of me judging a woman and labelling her a **** based on the fact that she dresses in tight fitting clothing or has a picture of her in her bikini on the beach. Now though everyone makes the effort to look good to attract possible suitors, I would like to believe that most people that like to work out, dress well, and look good in general generally do it for themselves, because it makes them happy more than anything else. So with that said, don't be so judgemental. At least get to know a person first before you dismiss them.

I'm not going to stay here for long. My reasons for leaving are quite simple really. The main reason being that I have some level of self respect for myself.

One thing that both the men and the women on this site need to realise is that this should be a place for you to get to meet and KNOW someone without the effort of having to leave your front door. What I seem to be running into are profiles of women asking men to entertain them. What the hell??? Do I look like a clown to you? Don't answer that. Lol. Seriously though. Is that the basis of a good relationship? He makes me laugh? This just shows me how immature most women on here are. You want a man to entertain you because you're bored and not a life partner. You don't even seem to care if the person in front of you is kind or decent. Of course you say you do but that's not really true. What you value is mainly superficial. Not what is within the person but what is outside. That is such a shame because most of you women will continuallu choose the wrong types of guys because of your superficiality when it comes to decision making.

May I ask you one thing ladies? Would it kill you to be polite? I know that there are plenty of guys here sending you messages and what not but some of the stories I've heard have left me doubting the goodness of the creature that I once thought beautiful and delicate. Truth be told it has left me slightly jaded. And though I have only experienced this to a very small degree I can certainly relate with the men that feel this way. Don't believe me? Why don't you go on YouTube and type in "POF sucks". You'll soon find out.

Now, a lot of women complain about how there are no "nice guys" etc. What a load of bull. When you can't even be asked to simply BE NICE... What does that say about you? Are you NICE? What you don't realise is that most of you women are creating these so called "jerks", womanisers, mysoginistic, women hating, anti feminist men. I know you get a lot of messages and you can't respond to all of them sometimes. Some messages don't deserve a response but there are some messages that are sent to you in good spirit with nothing but sweetness. Well articulated and maybe even funny. Without a jot of rudeness or malice. When you CHOOSE not to even respond to those do you know what you are doing? You are sending out the message to these men that it doesn't matter if you are nice, funny, charming or polite. I WILL NOT give you the time of day. So what do guys do? They stop being nice, polite, funny, charming or polite. And as a result they begin to see women with these dark tinted shades where all women are perceived as "*******", not deserving of one's respect. That is the result of the failed interactions that occur here.

I've all but given up hope in this place. Just a little bit tired of the false generic lines dished out by the majority of the women on here about "just wanting to meet a nice, honest, caring and genuine guy". When that in fact is not what you go for. Hence the multiple bad boy experiences. And then comes the all too common, "I just seem to pick the wrong guys..." statement. I think the majority of the people on here are either not ready for a relatiosnhip or just simply not looking for one. I think a lot of women on here are merely seeking attention to boost their egos. Knocking down others in the process. It must feel good to be able to do such a thing and still be able to sleep at night.



UPDATE:
Okay so I was a little angry when I wrote this. Truth be told I'm a little bit embarassed reading it back now as I am more aware of the dynamics and logistics that are at play when it comes to online dating.

What dynamics and logistics you might ask? Hopefully the video below will be able to explain what I'm talking about. Check it out.

 
IT DOESN'T WORK I TELL YOU!!!
Hahaha...
Scorpio1987 Scorpio1987 22-25, M 17 Responses Dec 15, 2012

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Hmm. First an apology for how you feel or see things is not necessary. People do inflate themselves online as well as in real life because they try to fit into a certain mold, which, no matter how hard they try to make themselves look different, has them looking like every other person on earth, which is kind of boring. They will knock others down to make themselves feel and look better. (Maybe it's the steps they are using to stand talk above everyone so they can thumb their noses). Women do have a habit of being picky and choosy, and then bitching because it's the same kind of guys over and over again (I believe it would be a whole lot easier if they would just allow someone else to pick the guys for them. Someone else said it perfectly, online dating is much like speed dating. You look for something simple to catch your eye, depending on which day it is, it could be absolutely anything.
Unfortunately, frustration and disappointment is part of life, kinda like dating. Use the sites for experience to help you determine what you don't want and to help you set the guidelines for what you do want. Make four lists: Acceptable Qualities, Unacceptable Qualities, Deal breakers and Negotiable. You can even go so far as to say must haves, maybe it's taking a little deeper look at what you are seeking to find that person.

Absolutely...i think if you live life and enjoy what you do, you will attract same type of people with same goals, hobbies, interests...blah blah blah...people always want to either settle or want things instantaneously!....values mean nothing....what can you do?...like yourself and hopefully others, and myself, just keep living life.

Lol....I think your rant is pretty accurate and hilarious....sounds like frustration, not anger. I don't know anyone women who have gotten 100 messages a day on online dating sites. I think both sexes are guilty of unrealistic expectations and if you have the tenacity to hold on to find the real deal after many shady dates, more power to them!

Finally! Someone who understands. THANK YOU T! Hahaha... I think you're right about the unrealistic expectations. We are all guilty of this. I think it is much better and far more rewarding to invest your time in finding other hobbies that are productive. Something that will help improve your sense of self worth and something that will put you into social situations that could help you meet different people. I am going to put my energy into that for the time being. Online dating was just making me depressed. Lol

Works both ways. Women experiences can be just as bad. Here's something that would give you some great inside about the online dating and put a smile on your face : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIM-8DT-F_k

Haha. I've seen that. Must've looked it up when I was trying to make sense of the online dating world. :'( Lol

Hi scorpio. I'm afraid I only have my own experience to go by, I have tried several dating sites in the UK and had the same experiences as you. A common experience is for someone to show an interest in meeting up only to then not respond when you start suggesting times and places, then their profile is suddenly unavailable. This has happened to me about 5 times. I haven't been on dating sites a lot, I have tried about six over 20 years and never continued more than a month due to the same things you have experienced. I know I am only one woman, so I can't comment on other women's experiences I'm afraid. The site that has more women than men is a Christian dating site in the UK, so unless you are a UK Christian you can't join it I'm afraid :( Not my rules. I agree with you the chances of meeting someone online with whom you form a relationship are very very small. Better to get out and meet people in real life :) Best to you.

Yep that's happened to me as well. There are plenty of pretenders on these sites and even the "real" ones often lie about themselves to make themselves seem more appealing. Of course a little embellishing is to be expected but people often go way to far. I'd try that Christian dating site if I was a Christian, but I'm not so there goes that idea. I wouldn't lie about my faith or lack thereof to catch a mate. :)

Hey I'm sorry you have had such awful experiences but as a woman I've had the exact same from men. So please don't say this is gender specific. I have had my self esteem and confidence badly damaged by dating sites to the point I thought I must be a total unattractive wierdo. I know that is not the case, but it's enough to make anyone with a grain of sensitivity feel that way. I hope you find some positive experiences offline to make you realise you are worthwhile and that there are good and genuine women in the world as there are men.

Hey potpickle. I agree with you and I believe women also have similar experiences to an extent but I cannot speak for women well because, I'm not a woman. :-) Nevertheless I have not seen as many women complain about similar issues as men do. It just seems more common regarding men. So I don't know why there are not as many accounts of women who suffer in the same way on dating sites. I really am intrigued by your experience. Did you not get any messages? I'm sure you must've had some messages come through. No?

Oh ya, one MORE thing...I suppose when dealing with people on dating sites it comes down to how one interprets things. If I messaged someone and they a.) didn't respond or b.) were ignorant with their response, I would be THRILLED cuz then I would know not to waste my time on them....I would look at it as more of a "Phew! Dogded that bullet"!

One more? Haha. Perspective is everything I guess.

Oh, I also wanted to comment about women having plenty of men to pick from...in my experience, that was more of a detriment than benefit since the majority of the men who initiated contact with me I was not compatible with. Of all the men I spent time chatting with or responding to, only 10% turned into something more than a first meeting for coffee. Ugh! I had me some BAAAAD experiences. But hey, I went into it expecting it. I knew the social dynamic surrounding online dating and I made it work for me....

It certainly helps if you're prepared to have bad experiences. I think that was my problem. I wasn't expecting that.

And let's face it - it's a pretty vulnerable place to be (online dating I mean). I hate to hear you say you want to give up, but at the same time I can see your frustration.

Indeed it is. Check out the video I've just posted in the story. This guy breaks it down pretty well in terms of what online dating is like for most guys. Over 90% of the guys on there hardly get anywhere. I'm glad it didn't take me long to realise this. I must be one of the smart ones. :-D Hahaha... I'm not kidding... O_O Lol.

Here is my experience coming from a woman's perspective:

I was part of online dating for...hmmm...4 years, from 27 to 31 (after divorcing a man I had been with since 18). I chose this method of dating because I am introverted and was intimidated by approaching a man in person.

Initially, I was on there to date only...to meet different people and just have fun. So I made it very clear in my profile what I wanted. I met some liars, some fun people, some clingers, some with no chemistry with me, some who ultimately rejected me...etc... However, my attitude was always "Don't expect to find your soul mate".

One thing I find people forget is that online dating is dating on speed. You go through more rejections/bad dates in a week than you would normally in a year (I know I;'m being a little dramatic but there really is a different social dynamic involved with online dating).

I approached it quite business-like. I threw away any romantic notions about it and simply approached it as a learning experience. I even made some friends out of the deal.

End result: in my final year of online dating I decided I was looking for more serious and thus changed my profile to reflect this. I eventually met someone who was my bloody soul mate (cheesy!!!!!). He was just as businesslike as I was about the online dating, along with having an amazing wit and laid back attitude. We had actually both come up with a list of questions we started using on all potential suiters as to not waste our time.

I have read comments from men and women on here, both having their objections to the behavior of others online. Online dating can be an ego boost to both sexes and it can be equally devastating to others. Point being, if you're going to do online dating, you can't go into it with too much emotion because people will have more courage, be less couth or simply not have the time to come up with "let down easy" lines.

Online dating is no different than the bar - 90% of the candidates are not going to result in anything meaningful. Do you honestly think the cream of the crop flock to online dating sites? Also, one has to go on knowing that there are going to be a lot of shallow, superficial uncaring people on there. Let's face it, it's a great place to get laid (in my experience that's what 90% of the men I conversed with wanted). It would be nice if everyone could just be honest about that for pete's sake!! But hey, "buyer beware". The onus is on me to make the most of this tool and achieve what is is I want.

Phew! Babbling. Anyway, long story short, my man and I have been together and married for 7 years now and it's frickin bliss! He and I have very similar personalities and views on life. Though I never would have met him without online dating where I could advertize myself a little. I would have shied away from him had I met him for the first time in real life.

I agree with everything you said there so I won't repeat anything. It does take a lot of patience. Glad you found your SOUL MATE. Lol. :-)

I have found there are both good and bad people on the dating sites. People see themselves very different then others do-- so their profiles are biased to say the least. You can only think of the dating sites as an introduction process......
It allows people to see or meet others they otherwise would not have any reason to. After the reading of a profile, the sorting of the truth behind it begins, it is effort on everyone's part. I don't take it too seriously but I'm always polite in my response to anyone's messages.

I think not taking it seriously is the key. Its good that you are always polite in your interactions though. That is always appreciated. :-)

I can't ever do that, man, I just can't get intimate with someone inside my computer screen.

When you're desperate you'll try anything chica. :-) It is sad but true. Hopefully you'll never need to join such a site.

righteouschica, I agree. and bars and clubs are no good either.

I did the online dating thing a few years back. The women I did like and proceeded to meet on a dates tended to lie through their teeth online. A single 32 Y.O. woman w/o kids I liked turned out to be a divorced mother of 3, living on Alimony and child support.

It was strange, most of the women I did meet online wanted "nice" guys who were caring and wiling to commit to a relationship and these very same women complained about men not making them feel "special". A big sense of entitlement?

Anyway, I left the online dating scene rather disgusted. It's a freaking waste of money.

I didn't pay to be on this particular site but I can relate to what you're saying. There's a massive list of do's and don't's for men on these dating sites. You have to send the right message, word it a certain way, be funny, be polite etc. It's like you're jumping through hoops and are constantly on the back foot throughout. It really isn't a nice feeling to be made to feel like you're just not good enough despite all your genuine endeavours. But that's the world we're living in, it's a rough place.

If someone had sent me genuine friendly message on a dating site, I would always reply. If I thought that I didn't want to pursue a friendship or relationship with them, I would be upfront but kind about it. I wouldn't just ignore the message. My problem has been a couple of rude messages which were insulting things about my profile and seemed confrontational. I didn't reply to those... they ruined my day. But kind messages are always appreciated.

You'll meet that special someone however you're meant to meet them... whether that be through online or in person from the beginning. I met my guy online and I adore him so much! He's the first guy ever that actually made me feel comfortable enough to meet in person.

After almost 6 months of nothing but "eh" feelings (from the site... never ran across anyone that I actually felt safe and a connection towards in all honesty), I almost gave up too. I met him on the day that I had decided to delete my profile completely actually! So I don't think you should give up :)

Thanks texancowgirl. I think statistics will show that in general, women have far better chances to meet someone they actually like on dating sites due to the simple fact that there are more men out there having to make the effort to get their attention and what not. So when you met your guy, you'd probably rejected hundreds before that. Your guy then in theory was the lucky one perhaps out of a hundred. That's what the numbers are like for guys. And for that reason, I think most men generally experience more negatives than positives when it comes to online dating. How long have you two been together if you don't mind me asking?

I think what matters a lot is the type of response us women get from guys. I rarely ever replied to a simple "hi" or even a compliment because there were so many of them. Or I never replied to the messages that just seemed like they were sent to 100 other girls on the site.

With the guy I'm seeing now, he sent me a message that was witty/funny, but it showed me that he actually read my profile. And no mention of my appearance. For me personally that was a plus. We've been seeing each other for a few weeks now :)

Well I hope you guys go all the way. But like you said, you get a lot of messages, you choose to respond to some and you ignore others. Some people claim to send those types of messages containing wit and sincerity etc and they still don't get responses. That is the way it works I supppose. There are so many men for women to choose from on these sites that they're almost spoilt for choice. You tend to treat things cheaply if it is in abundance.

Hi Scorpio. Please don't generalise about gender differences. I have had exactly the same experiences as you as a woman. And as I said before, any message someone had made effort over I would reply to, even if it was a thanks so much for your time but I don't wish to pursue things. I have sent several kind interested messages to people and been ignored. And don't say it's all about looks for men... I am an attractive blonde lady with blue eyes and a nice smile. It's all just a mystery with no sense, and I'm sure you are worth more than letting it all get to you.

I'm curious potpickle. You say you have had similar experiences. Yet you at least had people talking to you which is more than I can say for most guys and for myself. I'd say out of every 20 polite messages I sent I'd get 1 response if that at all. You said you received some rude messages which you did not respond to but the polite ones you did respond to stating if you were interested or not which leads me to believe that you did garner some interest from some men but chose for one reason or the other not to continue corresponding with these polite but "unattractive" gentlemen. Once again, I can only speak for men as that is MY experience. I'd love to hear your experience though. Send me a message or write a story about it if you will. Your perspective on the subject is something I am greatly interested to read/hear. It kinda got to me at first but once I understood the nature of these dating sites I wasn't as upset. :-)

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Me I think I still have to try online dating because I think loneliness Is gonna kill me,I need that sweet guy

We all need to love and to feel loved my dear. I think women generally fair better online than men do so I think you should at least try it and see what it's like. Just go there without any expectations. That's probably the only good advice I can give you. Good luck.

No offense, but after reading your profile excerpt I can see why no one wanted to date you. Maybe you're a decent guy in real life but you come across as bitter, demanding, and judgmental. Everyone has dating horror stories but online dating is just one of many ways to meet people. Don't expect miracles.

Blindbob - Did you notice that I said I had been there for a while and even altered my profile to try to appear more appealing, relaxed, funny, serious, not serious etc etc... You name it, I tried it. What I posted here is what was the result of all these failed attempts and at this point I just didn't care anymore because nothing I tried worked. So this was not what I had up on my profile during all that time. I don't think you understand what it's like from a man's perspective but the least you could do is TRY to understand ehh... Having said that, perhaps I did expect too much. I actually expected people to respond, even negatively to a polite, well thought out and sincere message. If that is a miracle then I should thank my lucky stars that people even talk to me at all in real life, if that is what expecting a miracle means.

Newgirl - When I joined the site I had no real expectations apart from maybe just having some conversations every now and again. I did not expect to send tens of messages to different individuals and get nothing in return. But after doing some research I found that this was common. So I got less mad at myself about it and blamed the flawed system of online dating. If it appeared as if I attacked the women on the site I am sorry for that, but I was frustrated and vexed hence my reaction. Another thing you must realise about online dating is that those that do find a match that ends up becoming more than just an online thing are not the norm but the exception to the rule. If you take into account the amount of people that are on these sites and you actually measure the amount of success stories I think you will find that the odds are against you if you try this method. The odds are against you in real life anyway. But the chances of something actually happening are almost next to nil when it comes to online dating. The experience of online dating is of course very different for men as it is for women. A man has to send tens of messages in order to get a response. Whereas a woman does not even has to send one. So for the two people you mentioned in your story, there are hundreds more out there who did not have the same results. It is also important to note that some people are just good at advertising their qualities better than others. So a lot of times what it boils down to is how good you are at putting your best foot forward. I have learnt that honesty is not always a good thing. In the end, men tell women what they want to hear until they are so deeply involved that even when the truth does come out, they have invested so heavily in that relationship that it is not worth leaving. I could give you examples of this but we would be here all day if I had to.

*brings popcorn*

Stop it chica! Lol.

The miracle comment was funny and well said. I feel the same way... I expect decent behaviour from people. But you keep generalising about men and women... "A man has to send tens of messages, a woman doesn't have to send one...!" That's just not true! I have been on a few sites, and in the end given up in disgust, I have always sent out about 20 times more messages than I recieved,and the ones I did recieve were from people who were just really not my type and were much older than me, which I am not interested in and had specified. Old, ugly men. Sorry, but they were. But I was still polite in my reply. The site I joined recently had more women than men on it, so maybe I have your problem in reverse.

MORE WOMEN THAN MEN??? LINK PLEASE!!!! Hahaha. pp I only generalise because that is the general experience experienced by the majority of men on the site. If I was the only person saying this I'd surely do some retrospective thinking and maybe rethink my approach. Damn I've used the same word twice in as many sentences in a row. Not very good english. Anyhoo... What I am saying is that I would not generalise if these were isolated incidences. Unfortunately they are anything but isolated. They are quite the norm. You should write a rebuttal to my story and explain why I should not generalise. If this happens to as many women as men I would so love to hear those testimonies. I am not being sarcastic here. I really would like to hear your side of the story. Do write...

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Scorpio1987 - I was thinking of trying online dating and so I read your story.

Well written! You make some good points and express them well.

You've changed my mind. Thanks

I don't think I would ever encourage any person to join a dating site but I'm also not sure that I would want you NOT to try your luck at it either. You might have a different experience to what I had and I wouldn't wanna take that opportunity away from you. I was really astonished at the ignorance and arrogance displayed by some of these women and that took me by surprise. Maybe if I was aware of it before I signed up I might have approached it with a different outlook. If you are going to take that bold step all I can say is that expect nothing. And when I say expect nothing I mean NOTHING. Not even a reply. That'd hurt anybody's feelings. I guess if I was to offer any helpful advice I'd have to say try going out into the real world to find what you're looking for. Those interactions are more rewarding in my opinion. Good luck.

Thanks for the adivice!

I hope it helps. :-)

One of the best rants I've ever read... though, it's not entirely due to immaturity or a superficial mind-set, but rather pure ignorance. I'm sure that 70% of both the female and male population can be quite ignorant

I'm pretty sure that men are just as shallow and I did think about that as I wrote this, however I could only write from a man's perspective as the site does not automatically allow you to view and interact with other males unless if that's what you signed up for?

By the way... Where did you get that number from? The 70%... Just curious... :-)

Well I'm female, and when I experimented with POF, I tried the outlook on woman with man first. From your experience and mine, men are actually more genuine than women online when compared. I had no picture, I was merely curious about these types of sites in general. I had only put my personality and bio, I got a decent amount of messages... which is quite UN-shallow--AND none of them were sexual! None were bad looking either, but then again, I hadn't even tried to initially send a message out to have experienced a jerk. Although I had only seen that perspective, and one from a woman with woman perspective, (I switched back and forth out of curiosity) I feel as if women are INDEED more superficial than men because in that time I had received no messages from women; I had even left that setting on longer than I had with men. I just feel as if it all depends on whether it's a male or female online regarding dating sites. That's too much to type and think about though!

I got the number from Jung's personality theories, haha...

@emdi, you mean the resident perverts and "sex machines" haven't sent pics of their little "friends" or propositioned you for sex yet? No one's demanded for you to send full body pics before agreeing to meet for coffee? You're lucky. (I'm female btw.)

On EP, I don't think I have IF I'm remembering correctly... but then again I'm very wary of what I reply to, post, or even who I should block if crude enough for me to rightfully do so. I suppose I get by well on the internet

No, not EP, I'm responding to your comments about online dating sites.

Not on the dating site either, probably because I had no picture. It was a while ago, but I don't remember having to deal with something disturbing like that to that level. Although, I might have just have the memory of the better messages

When I posted without a picture I didn't get a single reply at all on multiple dating sites so I don't think women are any more superficial than men. I wouldn't reply to a post without a picture purely for safety reasons. I don't think a lot of guys realize how much more real the safety issue is for women. And I also don't think women are after his money as the OP believes. I would prefer to meet in person rather than just talking on the phone or online because I think in-person is the best way to gauge chemistry, and chemistry is really important to a lot of women. I think the OP's frustrations have led him to misinterpret a lot of innocent things. I know plenty of men who will hit on any woman and sleep with most of them if given the chance, so they may seem less superficial, but they still know what they want in a potential girlfriend lookswise and will not settle for less. If he's getting consistent rejection maybe it's a reflection of his profile or who he goes after. Some guys aren't into initiating with cute, chubby women or women who are a little older or wear glasses or are from other races. Then when the blond 18-year old model ditzes reject them they turn on the entire sex.

Blindbob I think you are jumping the gun once again here. Who mentioned anything about money? I certainly didn't. Where did you get that from? The superficiality I was referring to was what some of these women expected of men and how they reacted to the behaviour of these men. Moreover, the rejection that I experienced on the site is not a phenomenon. It is THE NORM. You should have another read of what emdi is saying from the perspecticve of a person who actually took some time to research the ways in which men and women interact with each other online. She also mentioned that in her experience the experience for men and women differed greatly. Men APPEARING to be more genuine. Not saying that they are. As you state, some men will go after any woman just because they want something from her, so more often than not they WILL appear to be more genuine, even if their intentions are not pure. Whereas women have always had the luxury to be more picky. This "pickyness" is magnified immensely when one is online. And for me, that is the problem with online dating sites. There's just too much candy in the store for women to choose from. So that candy which does not look that appealing just gets discarded. For the record, I go after every type of woman. So long as she is in an acceptable age range, max 35 for me for obvious reasons, children etc. And as long as I'm attracted to someone and we have some common interests then I would write to someone. Even if it is just for a chat. I actually had some women who were not the cream of the crop write to me, and when I politely declined but opted to still talk or get to know each other I got blanked. But I understand that some people are not after friendship on the site so that is okay.

Emdi - I think I only two women initiated conversation with me in my time there. At that point I think I must've had like 60 or so views. I think women generally do not like to approach men first. But what is the point if you are online. I'm probably wrong about this though. It's probably just me. I'm the f'd up one. Lol. You findings are interesting though. Thanks for all your comments. :-)

@Scorpio, my point is that women AND men have bad experiences online. stop generalizing. i listed a few of my awful experiences in the above post. Yes, men routinely send pictures of their penises and ask me to be their sexual fantasy. Men have rejected meeting me in person for a cup of coffee because I wouldn't text them a full-body picture. One man literally said, "I have to see if it's worth driving out to meet you." my male friends agreed that they felt the same way. And yes, research shows that men tend to be extremely picky about things like weight and the race of women. there's a stupid "perfect woman" list circulating right now, and 90% of the requirements are physical.

You mentioned that women were only out to be "entertained" by you, so I interpret it in one of two ways:

1) you think if a woman wants to go on a date with you she is asking for too much. Well, I would suggest that you do a simple coffee date. It won't cost much and you can always cut it short if you're not a good match. I understand not wanting to spend a buttload of money every time you go on a date.

2) You have decided that when a woman says she wants a man with a sense of humor that she's somehow attacking you. "Sense of humor" is one of those key words that is speaking to chemistry. It doesn't mean that you'll never have a serious conversation. I have been on dates with guys who were polite but stared at their feet and mumbled the whole night or were stern and serious the whole night asking my uterus questions: will you be able to prioritize your time for our children? (I didn't realize that we had children!)

Again, I'm not saying that you haven't had horrible experiences, but don't generalize. If you had said this about another race instead of another sex the people on here would be calling you a racist instead of agreeing with you.

Once again, I'll suggest that you not put too much stock in online dating. Give it a try but don't drive yourself crazy by indulging in rants. I take your comments seriously because we seem to have a culture of angry young men who go on killing sprees because they can't handle rejection and loneliness.

I find your last statement rather funny but somewhat offensive as you insinuate that I am somehow incapable of dealing with rejection and that I'm eventually going to end up shooting people but nevermind. I think my generalisations in this case are founded. This is the general experience of many men that have tried online dating so I think that in this case, it is not totally wrong of me to generalise. And like I said before, I'm sure women have bad experiences as well but I cannot write about that because I have no perspective on that, whereas you probably do. If you wrote a story about your personal experience it would be wrong of me to say that you should include everybody else's experiences in your own story. It is after all your own personal experience. We all have our own way expressing ourselves, I tend to use words, that is my language of love. What's yours?

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