Dating Is Still Confusing, Even Online!
I'm not much of a barfly, and it's very difficult to find places to meet people, so I joined EHarmony for a month earlier this year(it's $50 just for a month!). I ended up meeting two guys from the site, but both turned out to be disasters! The first guy seemed nice and, according to EHarmony we were a "match", but the first time we met in person, as soon as he opened his mouth, I began feeling offended. It seemed as if everything that he said was in some way insulting to women, or just plain cocky and rude. So, needless to say, I never saw him again.
The second guy that I met really did a number on me. We talked via email for a couple of weeks before we met, and he seemed absolutely perfect. When we did finally meet, I was convinced that he was perfect. I thought that he was exactly the type of guy that I was looking for...sweet, considerate, earthy hippy guy, decent looking, intellectual, caring, loves to read, loves his dog, etc, etc. He began sending me emails telling me how excited he was to meet someone like me and that he couldn't believe what a beautiful and wonderful person I am. He would send virtual flowers, his emails became increasingly more romantic and it seemed as if he always knew just the right thing to say. After our second date, we ended up sleeping together, which is something that I don't normally do. But, I think that I was just caught up in the idea of finding someone who was actually the type of guy that I wanted, and things just kept moving right along. We began having lunch together during the week...well, I say having lunch, but we'd really just meet at his house and have sex, which was spectacular! I had mentioned to him that things seemed to be moving really fast and that it scared me, and his reply was that he was scared to, but he was scared of waking up and finding out that it was all just a dream. So, I decided just to go with it and take a chance instead of putting up a wall like I always do to keep myself from getting hurt. The last time that I saw him, we met at his house for "lunch", and when I was leaving, I told him that I didn't want him to think that I was just using him for sex. He said that he didn't want me to think that either, but he had a strange look on his face. After that, his replies to my emails became short or he wouldn't answer them at all. We had made plans for that Friday night, but he never called or responded to my text message. I finally sent him an email asking what had happened because I thought that everything was great between us. He said that when I told him that I wasn't just using him for sex, it made him realize that he wasn't just using me, either, and that things were moving too fast for him. I've invited him to go out a few times with me and my friends and asked him if he'd just like to hang out sometime, and although he keeps saying that he definitely wants to keep seeing me because he thinks that I'm a wonderful woman, he says that he may want to go wherever it is I'm going, he never calls or shows up.
It's now been almost a month since I've seen him, and I've come to realize that he more than likely was just using me for sex. That really irks me because I didn't see it coming. I'm in my 30's for goodness sake, and I thought that I could spot something like that a mile away! After that experience, I have let my membership with EHarmony expire, and I'm trying my best to not let him sour my attitude towards meeting men. It's just disheartening to consider the possibility that someone could be the person that you've been searching for, and then find out that they were using you.