Not Everyone Is Serious About the 'dating' Part

I tried online dating and went out with six men.  Of these men only one was looking for a relationship.  The others were only interested in getting horizontal as soon as possible.

By the fourth guy, I came right out and asked him why he indicated he was looking for a relationship when that was obviously not the case.  He told me that many of the women who date online are either desparate or looking to get horizontal.  Since I didn't fall into either of these categories I thought he was full of it and told him so.  He laughed and said that he dated online regularly and had conjugal relations with 1 out of every 6 women on the first date; he labeled them as either easy or desparate.

I gave up after the 6th guy I went out with.  He was the one who was serious about a relationship but he had two very beautiful (and head strong) pre-teen daughters and I didn't like the way he treated them.  I knew it would be a great source of conflict between us even though they were his girls.

Katija Katija
51-55, F
13 Responses Jul 2, 2007

Sex sex sex there u have it. A modest proposal for this fine ending day of september; have everyone tested at the health department and immediately be assigned a sex mate for extra credit with the government of course with some sort of contraceptive albeit pill popping form am i too far off course can u tell im tired of jacking off

Ive replied to so many cl ads for sex but no one replies back ever do i need to pay for an online dating site or what i mean why doesnt it work despite the forlorned obvious dreadfully hard to accept isnt there some humanity without money

As traditional dating, online dating has its pros and its cons, In both cases you can not predict if a relationship will end successfully or not because you can’t read in people’s mind and heart. In every dating situation you just give it a try and trust your intuition and your feelings<br />
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Before starting online dating you must define clearly what kind of relationship you are looking for and set your own criteria for matchmaking. Dating sites can allow singles to meet plenty people. When your social circle is small, online dating offer you a greater choice of finding a potential mate when you are browsing through profiles of people sharing same interest and living in the same area, nationwide or even worldwide. Only you can decide if you want to initiate a conversation with someone. You can also deny communication with an interested party and remain anonymous. It’s possible to gradually learn more about someone interest by exchanging emails, sharing pictures taken in different situations and having phone conversations when you feel more confident. That way you practically reduce fear of rejection and social awkwardness before being put into the situation of physical interaction. Just take your time, be honest and don’t make yourself illusions. <br />
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Always keep your safety and security in mind and remember that even though online dating can be fun and exciting it can also be filled with risks. Be cautions. Don’t reveal personal details too soon and be aware of liars, scammers, sex offenders , perverts, weirdoes, creeps and people who are just looking for fun.

It does not matter if you meet someone on-line or in person, either way can be a bad or good experience. My sister-in-law met a guy "in person" and found he was the biggest l fake that there ever was. He told her he had a big executive job and would call her from a the mall so the background noise would sound like a busy place of work. He would even stop their conversation by giving a comment to one of his fake employees!

Doing online dating myself, I did encounter a woman who hinted at "getting horizontal" on the first date. After meeting for breakfast we went to my place, with my intention being that we sit and chit chat. Which we did, but at one point she blurted out, "I could **** you right now!" Fortunately that didn't happen...and she said that right before leaving, so at least it didn't turn into a bone of contention! But what I find rough about online dating is that it brings people close together in ways that simply aren't natural. When you meet people at work, school, or through mutual friends or family, you get to know them gradually as you keep bumping into them. As trust is built up, you might open up to each other more. But online dating is too much, too soon, and right from the get-go you're sized up as a potential romantic partner, and if it looks like you're not - then you're totally useless, even if you are otherwise a decent human being!

This sucks :/ that's why you hear all kind of things about these places.

Will this suck! I just signed up and I went all out honest Im not looking for desperate and horizontal action, just a dance partner or someone to take out to the range. Any ideas were else a singl mom can find someone ?

seriously, there should be a disclaimer. those looking for more than coffee and LESS than a relationship, please seek that elsewhere, is it so hard to find someone like that?<br />
online dating is kinda odd, though my boss and her nephew met their significant others online and are SO happy, i guess its a 50/50?

Aaargh! I hated dating. All that dancing around. When I met my husband I was disillusioned with both sexes. He had to tolerate doing all the work, because I'd already consigned myself to a partnerless existence. Here's to never having to go through it again:-D

I've been married (happily) for so long I think I'd be -frankly - crap at dating now. I am too cynical from hearing other people's experiences. I must give the old man more vitamins to keep him going so he lasts as long as I do.

Grams, when I first tried online dating I wasn't expecting anything. I just realized one day that I was a workaholic and needed to get out more. I looked at filling out the questionaires as my way of ensuring that the only people I met were the ones with which I had something in common. I also see online dating as not much different than what the gold miners and other settlers of the wild West did when they wrote letters to the newspapers in the East looking for "mail-order" brides. They were faced with the same situation many of us face today, where they didn't have the time to physically look to find a wife. Typically, the man would pay for a round trip ticket for the woman to come for a visit; if they found they could get along then they married. If they didn't, she went back home. Things are a bit more immediate with the internet but unfortunately, like Jame65 says, people aren't always honest online. You still have to 'vet' them the same as you would any other date. But supposedly, if you are both honest in your profiles, you are both there for the same reason. I offer my condolences on the loss of your husband.

I hate to admit this, but three days ago I thought I'd check into one of the sites for online dateing, I couldn't get past the questions, I felt like I was shopping , I was apalled at the whole thing. My husband died 2 yrs. ago. He was my soulmate, I'm definately not desperate. Don't know what's in store for me, but I do know it's not on line dateing...

interesting range of folks... thanks for sharing!