I've attempted it 2 or 3 times, overdosing, but none of the times were severe. I ended up in hospital after the first one, however after that, when I made the 2nd and 3rd attempts, I didn't tell anyone, because I can't stand hospitals, and didn't want to end up in one again. I really meant it the first time I did it, but what didn't help was my mum telling me that my excuses were wrong, and that I didn't really feel the way I did. This was 5 days before last christmas, and then my family treated it all like nothing had ever happened after, expected to still have a wonderful christmas where we'd all be happy. Even after that they couldn't see how fake my smiles were.

I wouldn't say I just want to die, cos if I did, then I'd just do it. I don't think anyone ever really wants to die, which is why they try to make it quick so they can't regret it, but it doesn't mean I still wish it sometimes. I feel wrong for getting suicidal thoughts, because of the way that people reacted with the attempts. The only reason I wouldn't do it again now though is cos I'm scared of what my mum n dad would say if I survived, but having that as the only reason for living doesn't make me feel any better, I mean why would it, it's pathetic, and just makes things worse.

sezy sezy
18-21, F
Aug 8, 2007