So Much For Me

Looking in the mirror anymore seems more of a struggle. Why can't I see what everyone else claims they see? There's something not right about not liking anything about who you are in every aspect. Why am I holding myself back? I fear one day I will change all unnecessary things to be who you want me to be. I doubt I would be happy, but you would be. There would be no more arguing and grief over how I feel. I need to lose weight, get a grip, and move on. I need to change everything. Fix my reality and get out of the life I have created for myself. You can't change the physical damage I have done to my body though. I fear it is like this for life. I'm not witty enough or smart enough to keep anyone's attention for a true conversation. Even the people who say they care for me, don't stick around long enough for me to talk. I hate I let you people hurt me, when all I've ever wanted was to be treated equally in my relationships. I will never stand up to half of you. I will forever be hurting because the me I am today, is just not good enough.
WorkItMami WorkItMami
22-25, F
1 Response Jan 8, 2013

I totally can relate to certain parts within this.. You feel like there's no one who understands you. As though you feel like everyone can see the good in you, but you yourself can not see. You grieve& grieve everyday of how your life should be, but is not. Sometimes you just have to hold on and keep the faith, that all the things people tell you will come to past.