But Sometimes It's So DifficultI get so impatient, so doubtful sometimes...walking on this path. It isn't that I doubt my faith or my journey. I doubt myself. I become so impatient to get to the next great thing. When my grandmother was alive we visited about this quite often. She had told me one time of the dreams she had in her youth. None of them had happened and I asked her if she was angry at God for her life. She smiled and said no. She told me that the dreams she had were just that, dreams but that God doesn't dream, he plans and his plans are always perfect. She said that she would not trade the life she was given and had no desire to change anything she had experienced on her road. She said that had her dreams and prayers been answered she would not have met my grandfather, married, become a mother and my grandmother. Then she said, "God's plan for my life has been better than anything I could have dreamed."
So I try to remember this but still I become so tired of waiting, walking, wondering. But I know what will happen if I run ahead. Like a child who sees their favorite playground up ahead, they pull away from their mother's hand and bolt forward unaware of the cracks in the pavement and tripping head over heels. And there they sit, crying with bleeding knees as their mother soon arrives and picks them up, carrying them over the cracks, and rocks, and dangers along the path, only to put them down when they arrive at the entrance to that perfect playground.
So, today I will walk God's perfect path all the while knowing I will soon lose patience and run ahead. And like a father does, he will catch up to me, pick me up and set me back on the path, assuring me that if I just hold his hand he will get me to my perfect place.