Today I was reading the Bible and I came across this passage. Genesis 8:21 which reads ..."I will never again curse the ground because of man, for the intention of man's heart is evil from his youth." VERY TELLING passage. The heart seeks to make meaning of the evil one is exposed to in one's youth. The heart's "PURPOSE" if you will, is to connect with someone who in some way represents some unjustified sufferring one experiences in one's youth, and correct that wrong in the present experience. EVEN GOD GOT THIS about man. We bit the apple. We sought to know all. We chose to seek wisdom. This is what seeking wisdom means.

I believe that our heart holds our pain. In adulthood we seek love. We connect to someone because there is just something about them that we like. That something is recognition. Our heart recognizes something about them that can teach us about our childhood pain. It does this LONG before the mind catches on. So when we let our heart do the choosing we learn, but we also reexperience our prior pain again. There is always a lesson in it for us. The lesson is the reward. When we are adults, we have the voice and the power to say NO. We did not have that power as a child. As adults, we can walk, we can fight, we can judge and we can exact revenge.  We can exact meaning via our adult power.

So with each heart connection we learn. That is the meaning in the struggle. But our heart's intention, it's drive, it's desire is to correct evil from our youth. If logic and reason are not operating in harmony with our heart...we are connecting in order to exact a lesson in the present to correct our past.

UGH! All the years wasted. All the time spent chasing love and it's embedded lessons.
Reproof Reproof
51-55, F
Mar 10, 2012