So my daughter's biological dad (whom we'll call Bob) is not the one she calls Daddy. My husband (whom we'll call Mike) is. And that is because, for about four years, I let Bob use me and lie to me and leech off of me. He lived with me from the first month or so we dated. It happened one night around Christmas. I was going to break up with him because he had cheated on me. I was also supposed to deliver the news that he was kicked out of the place he was staying (the person he stayed with is the one who told me about the cheating). Well, when I confronted him, he didn't deny it. Rather, he started to cry and apologize. He didn't beg for forgiveness or mercy, just apologized and cried. I couldn't leave him on the streets in the snow (the one time it snowed that whole winter) so I let him come live with me. Long story short, I took Bob back and for that entire four years, he cheated on me some more, wouldn't hold down a job for more than a month, depended on me for food, lodging, clothing, transportation (I even drove him to the girls places to cheat on me with, only to find out later), etc. I was totally convince that what he told me was true; I would never get married and my best bet was to stay with him, because he was the only one who really understood me and we were family. Yeah, I was that stupid. He also told me stories about how his father was his grandfather (who raped his mother) and also about having a twin brother (even posing as said twin brother) and all these fantastical stories. Then one day, despite him telling me for the entire four years that he was sterile, I got pregnant. Well, I was dumb enough to put him on the birth certificate, and then the next day, as I was still in the hospital, here he comes with a tattoo on his face. Yes. His face. Ok if you have a job that you can do with that, but not ok if the only work you can get is serving food and waiting tables. Few restraunts will hire someone with a tattoo covering half their face. So now I had to provide for him and my daughter. I grew more depressed and went looking for a person to see just on occasion, to get away from it all. I mean, Bob had his girl he was screwing, so why couldn't I have a companion, just for fun? Well, I ended up finding a good man who, depsite some issues, has been my knight in shining armor, Mike. He WANTED to be my daughter's daddy, and has been a great husband and dream come true.
Well, now that you have the back story, here is the kicker. I finally stopped believing anything Bob told me. I just assumed everything was a lie, since it always had been before. Then just a few days ago, he tells me about finding his brother and his father. (Remember he told me his father was his grandfather--who was convienantly dead). He gave me all these details, like how they were seperated, where they lived, what they looked like, etc. And that's just what he'd done all the other times. It sounded like one of his elaborate lies he liked to make up for attention or whatever. So I didn't believe him. Then I look at Bob's myspace, and lo and behold, there is his mother's profile on his friend page, as well as a guy that looks alot like my Bob. I do a little research, and find that the brother's profile has been active for a long time, so it's not a fake (most likely) and the guy looks remarkably like my ex. Same nose, same eyes, same head (both shaved heads with an odd shape). The guy's profile is also linked to the mother's, with comments between them supporting the story. A sister's profile is also there, with a blog titled "New addition to the family" but you have to be a friend to read it. So. Looks like he was telling the truth. For once in his life. The one time I didn't believe him is the one time he wasn't lying.
"Why does this matter to you?" you ask? Well, as Bob is the biological father to my child, and I put his name on the birth certificate, I am afraid he will seek some type of custody rights. He wants to take my daughter up north to meet his dad and brother. I am so afraid if he does, she will not come back. He has lived is Washington for quite some time now, and we live in Texas. He hardly ever sees her, talks to her, whatever. Doesn't provide money or anything for her care. Didn't really call me much to ask about her...until recently. He has been calling me a lot lately, and was angry when I didn't call him for father's day. I told him he couldn't take her, but I am afraid he will eventually try to establish his right to do so. I know that based on the facts, it is unlikely he would win, but I still worry. And on top of it all, I guess this whole not believing him when he was being honest really sort of hit my confidence...I actually feel guilty about it. *sigh*