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Am I Always Honest?

I try to be honest with everyone, and I usually am.  But sometimes I think it's more important not to hurt someone's feelings.  I tend to think the truth will always come out in the end anyway so it's best to be honest.  But sometimes the issue is too small and it's easier to tell a white lie.  If I think the Thanksgiving turkey is too dry, there is no need to tell the hostess.  I rather be polite and just say everything is fantastic.  But I won't go out of my way to rave about the turkey - I'll rave about the stuffing (or something else good) instead. 

If the issue has more longer term effects, like if my friend should buy jeans that don't suit her well, I will be honest.  It's better to hurt her feelings there in the store than have her make a mistake she has to live with for awhile.  After all, why else am I there?

I am not, however, always honest with guys I'm just getting to know.  If I don't like him, I'm not really going to say it.  I'll just be vague and noncommittal and hope he gets the clue.  Lots of guys will argue with me if I say he's not my type (not that I really have a type) or that I didn't feel a connection.  It's a pointless and awful argument to have and I will avoid it at all costs.  If I just don't think the guy is very bright, what am I really supposed to say?

The nice but insecure guy whom I have been getting to know suddenly turns into crazy man after he asks something like "what do you think of me so far?" and I don't have a positive answer.  To avoid that situation, I say something vague like "you seem nice."  If he accepts it, we can move on and maybe we talk or meet up again or maybe not.  If he goes ballistic on that answer then I know he is way insecure or has some problems and I get away as quickly as possible. 

So, I guess I'm saying I'm not always 100% honest in the letter, but I am always honest in spirit.  (Or is that just a rationalization?)
CatalinaVanilla CatalinaVanilla 26-30, F 5 Responses Feb 19, 2011

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I was just kidding Publius LOL

Catalina, I would refrain from reaching statistical conclusions based on a sample of two specimens. :)

Am I beginning to see the gender gap in just these two replies?

I don't think its your job to reassure his ego whether for the good or the bad.. so your call on honesty seems spot on. But that's just my humble opinion.

What I say may or may not be true, but what I *think* is always true. Not that much different from "honest in spirit, but less so in letter", or is it? :)



Apropos dating -- I think most guys are rather slow learners, but eventually I think we all learn to decipher those vague "commitments"... "Oh yes, we should definitely go out again some time (in some unspecified time in a distant future)" and such. :)