I Try to Be Kind to Everyone

It's Not About The Tea

By: Littlebrownbat

Written on October 9th, 2011

I have a friend who is a therapist and she told me about an experience she had while waiting in line at a Starbucks. My friend was contemplating whether she wanted a tall or a grande when she was startled by the woman in front of her, who began to give the Starbucks staff a verbal pasting. Her voice continued to grow more and more shrill as she proceeded to 'explain' to the staff why it was NOT okay that they put sugar in her tea. My friend felt her hand dart into her handbag as she fished around for her card, thinking to herself that this woman really needed her services. She later told me, 'Whatever was going on there, wasn't about the tea. That woman had something major going on in her life and she just needed to vent, which was unfortunate for the Starbucks staff."

I strive to be polite and courteous to everyone I meet. I have been accused of being overly passive, and perhaps I am, but if someone lashes out at me and I can honestly say I've not doing anything to warrant it, I just remind myself that 'it's not about the tea.' I don't know what's going on in other peoples' lives. People face hardships that I cannot imagine coping with myself. If I can help, I will try, but if all else fails, I can offer my kindness and understanding.

It's not to say I am 100% patient and tolerant all of the time. I'm short-tempered and impatient just like anyone else, but my friend's story has helped me to keep things in perspective. On days when I am pissy and irritable and find myself snarling at those around me, I use her words like a mantra. 'This is definitely not about the tea.'

By: Littlebrownbat

Age: 31-35 , Female

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9 responses

Plaid

I'm gonna have to borrow that phrase 'cause so often it really isn't about the tea.

I had some serious housemate drama this week, that included (in a mediated session with our landlady) a totally unexpected attack from Roomie 1. She was shrieking at me because I go in the kitchen, open the fridge, and leave without taking anything.

I don't know what's going on with her, but it's got nothing to do with tea!

Jul 1, 2012
1 like
stellaz

that was quite interesting, when one goes through difficulties in their childhood they usually react very strongly to small stuff. my friend has a bf who takes her as a punching bag, he gets mad for silly things and once again he had a very BAD childhood. Its sad because no child deserves to be unhappy but they are punishing the person who is not at all responsible.

Jul 1, 2012
1 like
mpde

I was sitting haveing lunch at an outside coffee shop and my sister in-law said don't look now but the woman behind you is really crying. Eventually I got up and went to her and told her my name and handed her some tissues. I said she didn't have to tell me the problem as I am a stranger but I would just sit with her awhile. She nodded ok and then did the strangest thing ever. She got up and went onto her knees put her head down on the floor bottom in the air and I sat there waiting for her to get up. When she did she said she has a condition where if she doesn't do that she would pass out. Anyway she told me a story of how she fell pg with her boyfriend and they broke up and now he's back in town and wants to get back together with her a friend saw he was at her flat and phoned her Mom who travelled 6 hrs through the night and arrived at 6am at her flat and wants to take her back home. I could see the lights were on but nobody was at home really. So encouraged her to go back home and talk to her Mom who had her best interest at heart. I prayed for her and she went on her way. I took my lunch in a take away or I would of missed the train.

Apr 22, 2012
1 like
Mehameha

Great story. I agree.

You have to look beyond what another is saying and really listen to the things they don't say to know how and whether you should respond.

I liked this story. You have a wise friend.

Nov 13, 2011
1 like
bcj

But sometimes it is about the tea.

I my country, service has gone to the dogs and the players in the industry just expect to be excused for such shoddy service. My clients would fire me if I made such mistakes.

b

Nov 13, 2011
1 like
trailguide

This is such a great story..and reminder. It is amzing how very seldom it actually "is about the Tea" ;)

Nov 12, 2011
1 like
- Littlebrownbat
  Thanks! I had a 'tea' day at the start of the week. It's funny how quickly we can lose perspective. I decided tea was the best solution to my grumpiness, so I sat with a cup, calmed myself and then got on with my day. Chamomile works wonders. :)
  
  Nov 12, 2011
  1 like
wolvescry2

Love this reminder. It is all too easy to sit in judgement when people lose control, and we need to remember that we don't know what's going on for other people. Not that it's ok to vent at anyone when ever we have a bad moment, but unfortunately we have all behaved poorly at times and we would hope for others understanding and patience. Also a good reminder that when we do get "snappy", to stop and re-assess the situation and ask ourselves why. I love the way you write LBB. Nice story.

Oct 15, 2011
2 likes
rickibrat2

we should

Oct 10, 2011
1 like

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